
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6232012.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Star_Wars_-_All_Media_Types, Star_Wars_Episode_VII:_The_Force_Awakens_
      (2015), Reylo_-_Fandom, Star_Wars_Sequel_Trilogy, Star_Wars
  Relationship:
      Rey_&_Ben_Solo_|_Kylo_Ren, Rey/Ben_Solo_|_Kylo_Ren, Kylo_Ren/Rey, Reylo,
      Kylo_Ren_-_Relationship
  Character:
      Kylo_Ren, Ben_Solo_|_Kylo_Ren, Ben_Solo, Rey_(Star_Wars)
  Additional Tags:
      Smut, Shameless_Smut, it_does_have_a_plot, but_the_existence_of_plot_is
      only_to_serve_the_smut, kink_list, Kink_Meme, Inappropriate_Use_of_the
      Force, PWP, Masturbation, female_and_male, Voyeurism, A_little, Reylo_-
      Freeform, Female_virginity, Virginity, Loss_of_Virginity, Force_Choke,
      Force_Bond_(Star_Wars), Force_Bondage, Sexual_Roleplay, Roleplay, Pseudo
      roleplay, sex_by_proxy, Rough_Sex, Dominant_Sex, Oral_Sex, Rough_Oral
      Sex, Angst, Force_Lightning, Masochism, dominant_Kylo, Dirty_Talk,
      Vanilla, force_bond_sex, Exhibitionism, did_i_mention_inappropriate_use
      of_the_force_because_yeah, Blow_Jobs, Public_Blow_Jobs, Public_Sex,
      Lightsaber_kink, Inappropriate_Use_of_Lightsabers, Pegging
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-03-12 Updated: 2018-01-06 Chapters: 11/? Words: 47677
****** The Beauty of a Secret ******
by caisha
Summary
     It's normal for padawans and their teachers to become close, but the
     Council hadn't expected this turn of events - nor what the future
     would become because of it.
***** prologue *****
Chapter Notes
     This is a story that is for the express purpose of writing smut. If I
     was capable of writing unconnected one shots I might have just done
     that, but I am not. I need an actual story - and because it is me,
     that story will also be a bit angsty at times.
     I am working through the kink list that we voted on, ordering the
     most popular kinks in our fandom. The goal is to get to as many as I
     can - I won't write some of them, or can't because of the story, but
     I'll get to most of them.
     In the prologue, Rey is 18 and Ben is 28. They start the story as 15
     and 25, though, so underage is marked.
     I will update the tags and warn before each chapter if there is
     something especially kinky. Otherwise, just assume there's some type
     of smut in each one.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
  Once again they broke the Love Laws. That lay down who should be loved. And
                              how. And how much.”
                   - Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things
"Ben!"He fixed her with a cold stare – she didn't understand why he pulled her
here if he was so eager to leave and forget her.
He said nothing in the cold silence, but Rey watched his eyes as they raked
over her. She fought the instinct to wrap her arms around her body, but Ben
picked up on it and flicked his hand at her in annoyance. Rey felt her body
being pushed back against the wall, her hands pinned above her head.
She watched him advance towards her with slight fear - not at what he would do
to her, but that her body trembled in desire at the thought of being touched by
him. Again.
Ben watched her involuntarily struggle against the hold he had put on her
hands, amusement dancing on his lips - she could break it at any time, but
instead her instinct was to just press against it deliciously.
"You are not allowed to cover yourself in my presence," he said in his velvet
voice that sent shivers down her spine. "You are still wary of this desire that
builds inside of you, when you should instead embrace it."
Rey furrowed her brow, "That's not what we're taught, it's not what youtaught
me." She didn't understand the strange pull they had towards each other that
made them flirt with the line in the Jedi Code.
"The Jedi are wrong," he said simply, putting an end to the conversation. He
walked towards her, his steps confident, and brushed his hand gently across her
cheek, gliding into her hair. She felt her buns come undone, her hair falling
around her shoulders. He continued to work in silence as his fingers wrapped
around her throat and down her chest, finally resting at her hips; Ben gripped
them in his large hand that spanned half of her body and she let out an audible
gasp at the pressure.
He closed the space between them, pressing his body against hers, and leaned
down to whisper in her ear, "I've thought of this every day since you arrived,
you haunted my dreams. It only grew worse after…" She felt his body shudder
against hers, at the memory, and his nose dragged against the edge of her face,
his lips pressing softly against her neck.
Hands that dwarfed hers pressed into her skin, teasing bruised flesh in the
morning, pulling her hips against his. He still held her against the wall with
the force, her feet dangling in the air so their bodies aligned perfectly; she
groaned at being so manipulated - against the voices that whispered opposition
to such vulnerability.
Ben's hands moved upwards, pulling her top up her chest and over her arms,
letting it fall to the ground. She had never seen him so fixated on something,
his breaths coming quicker - in time with hers - eyes roaming her torso. Rey
felt her nipples pebbling with arousal, at the hungry look in his eyes as he
leaned in to touch them, his tongue took a long lick over one and her hips
moved against his in reaction.
A hand reached up to press against her stomach as he took her breast in his
mouth; she had always known they were smaller than most, but he didn't seem to
mind.
He pulled away briefly, "They're perfect."
She didn't ask how he knew what she was thinking, didn't need to. They didn't
speak about it much, but their connection was deeper than physical touches.
Teeth gripped a nipple as Ben's fingers twisted the other and she let out a
loud "Oh!"as he pulled it before starting to suck. The noises that filled the
room were intoxicating and Rey found herself filling it with her own mewls as
her breasts were suckled.
Finally, his fingers hooked into her pants and drew them off, her shoes hitting
the ground with them. She felt exposed as he spread her legs apart to look at
her bare sex.
Ben looked up into her eyes and the coldness and hunger had been replaced with
a desperation that warmed her body even more. "You deserved to be
worshipped,Rey."
And he believed it. He watched in fascination as the moisture that had built up
between her legs began to spread across the lips and edges of her thighs.
Shuddering, his fingers moved across her entrance, moaning her name as he felt
the warm liquid. Evidence of her arousal.
He pulled away abruptly and studied her, watching her chest heave with
anticipation. "Do you want this?" He asked seriously, disarming her with the
rapid shift, her mind hazy with desire.
"What?" Was all she could muster, confused why he would bother asking that when
it was clearly evident.
His irritation flickered briefly across his face, but he was still intently
looking at her, "Do. You. Want. This." He repeated with emphasis, slowly
dragging each word out in case she missed it.
Rey's anger sparked at the question, "I've always wanted you. My dreams are
filled with thoughts of you - and Arkanis…" She whispered the last word and it
seemed to convince him and she watched him pull towards her again, feeling his
resolve and contentment at her answer.
She knew what they did was dangerous - foolish - but as his tongue dragged
across her slit, she couldn't find it in herself to care.
Chapter End Notes
     I feel like I should also mention that I am NOT adept at writing
     smut, this is just as much for the reylo fandom as it is for me to
     have a place to practice writing it. I am usually loyal to my angst
     whore nature, writing only angst and feeding on it.
     I am trying to expand my skillz. Forgive me if I'm terrible, working
     on it =)
***** a greater punishment *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can
                             bring on ourselves."
                            ― Federico García Lorca
The sound of boots echoed throughout the gleaming hallway, their
practicableness at odds with the splendor of their surroundings. The person in
them moved with purpose, so much so you would never have expected him to be
anxious.
But he was. Ben Organa-Solo had trained for years for this moment, to be
officially recognized as a Jedi Master. It didn't matter that his bloodline was
rooted in heroes and villains, the new Jedi Order didn't care - though his
peers had. He grit his teeth at the memory and the few people walking past him
shied away from his face, the darkness projecting outward.
He passed his hand across his body and the doors to the antechamber opened.
"Jedi Organa-Solo, we have spoken before about your unnecessary use of the
force," Luke Skywalker intoned as a welcome.
Ben turned slowly to meet his Uncle's eyes, "I apologize, Master."
The eyes of the small and budding Jedi Council watched him, but Luke knew what
lay underneath his apology. His nephew had always balanced on a precarious
precipice, it was this knowledge that had kept him from acquiescing to his and
the Jedi Council's request to elevate him to Jedi Master.
"We've convened this council to consider whether you have earned the honor of
being a Jedi Master, Ben," he spoke slowly, eyes still on the tall and broad
form in front of him. The stance projected ease, his feet spaced shoulder-
width, hands resting in front of him, clasped casually.
"I understand; I am ready for your decision."
"You have proven that you have the strength and the determination to become a
Master Jedi, but wisdom only comes with time - and you are very young," Jedi
Master Jolee spoke candidly - he was more straightforward than the others, who
danced around the difficult subjects.
Ben's hands twitched in front of him at the mere mention of a weakness he had
no control over, "Are you suggesting I am not wise, Master Jolee? I have proven
over the course of my training to have impeccable decision making under
pressure."
It was hard to keep the arrogance from creeping in, and he knew they would
judge him for it. A Jedi was not individualistic or prideful, but one with the
force - and his companions. There was no room for arrogance in the Order.
Luke raised his hand to stop one of the members from speaking, "We are but
newly formed, all of us are young in comparison to the old Order, Ben." He took
a heavy breath, "But we are concerned about your…lack of control over your
emotions."
Anger flared inside of him, but he pushed it down to show no signs that his
Uncle's words affected him.
"I don't understand; I've done all that you asked me."
"Indeed you have, however in so doing you have alienated yourself from your
peers and more than once lost control during heightened states of emotional
distress. We all have moments of weakness, but with you it is a pattern. Your
peers fear you, and you seem to prefer that. It is not the Jedi way."
His hands fell to his side and clenched tightly, "I don't understand why I am
responsible for how people see me. You overcame your legacy.What chance have I
had to prove I did not inherit the darker bloodline? They fear me for reasons I
cannot control."
The council members sat in silence, considering his words. They exchanged
silent looks, until Master Luke stood up and walked towards the eager young
Jedi.
"I understand the difficulties our family has both caused and gone through,
nephew. But you're not ready. We will wait for a suitable padawan for you, at
which time you will take over their training. It is unusual, but with the
limited amount of fully trained Jedi we are willing to wave tradition. If you
prove to be a caring and compassionate teacher we will deem you worthy, Jedi
Organa-Solo."
Ben clenched his teeth, but bowed and excused himself - begrudgingly accepting
their judgment.
If his peers heard crashing and the singe of a lightsaber coming to life as
they walked by his room afterwards, they said nothing.
Ben Organa-Solo was to be avoided. And everyone knew it.
===============================================================================
 
Rey stood in front of the soaring building that housed the once-illustrious
Jedi Order. She had heard stories - myths, really - on Jakku of how they used
to be the peacekeepers and warriors of the Republic. They had fallen for a
time, before being resurrected by the great Luke Skywalker after the fall of
the Empire.
It had been thirty years and the Order was growing rapidly, new Jedi being
trained every year.
She didn't know what she had done to be born with this force-sensitivity, the
Jedi had called it. Rey had answered the visitor's questions when she showed up
one day in Niima Outpost, much to the chagrin of Unkar Plutt.
He didn't like his scavengers taking days off.
The Jedi had heard of Rey in her investigations on Jakku, of the girl who
understood and spoke many different languages that she had no right or
possibility of knowing. Rey had always just assumed she had a gift for
languages, but according to the Jedi it was a gift of the Force - this
understanding.
It had been a simple decision, to leave Jakku behind; she had long ago accepted
that her parents would never return. It had been ten years and not a word from
them, the wall had been filled with marks for years.
Still, looking up at the building on Coruscant, it was hard not to wonder what
she was doing there. She was no one special, just a scavenger who barely had
enough to eat as the days passed, fending off unwanted advances. A young
teenager seemed a ripe enough target for many of the traders that passed
through, but they learned quickly enough that her staff was a weapon to be
feared and stayed away.
Gritting her teeth, she followed the Jedi who had brought her here into the
building, walking the hallway and marveling at its opulence.
Her head moved around constantly, trying to absorb everything around her.
She saw a tall figure standing to the side, speaking pointedly to a woman, he
was in the standard Jedi garb, but he wore it differently than most. Rey idly
wondered why and as she was lost in thought, noticed that he had looked at her
- his eyes judging and cold. She shivered and looked away, hurrying to catch up
with her guide.
She was brought to a small alcove and met with an older man, beard well-
trimmed, "Rey. I'm glad you accepted our offer of training."
Rey just nodded, not sure how to approach the man in front of her - his title
and history surely demanded respect, but all she saw was the warmth in his
eyes. True compassion, the core of any Jedi - or should be.
"I know you're probably only familiar with the Jedi in passing stories, but
traditionally training starts very young."
Her feet shifted, uncomfortable with the reality that she was fifteen, and
certainly older than many of the students she had seen already.
"I understand, Master Skywalker," she had been briefed on how to address the
various stations and members of the Order, and her voice rang with respect and
a tinge of awe.
He smiled at her and gestured for her to sit next to him on a bench near a
large floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the city of Coruscant. She had very
little time to fully absorb the city, but felt that was a good thing; even
looking at it briefly had overwhelmed her.
Luke seemed to sense her troubles and spoke, "Since you are much older than
most of the padawans here, the council has decided to assign you to one of our
oldest Jedi. He has trained for most of his life, and was one of my first
students; he is very accomplished, and I think you will work well with him."
"Whatever you think is best," Rey's speech was a bit stilted and cautious; she
didn't know if she liked the idea of being chained to one person for her
training - what if they didn't work well together? What then? Would she just
fail out of the academy? Was that even possible?
Her slew of questions ended when she heard the doors open and boots stalking
towards her.
"You called for me, Master Skywalker?" Rey felt the velvet voice wash over her
and she blinked rapidly, shaking her head.
The man before her was broad and very tall, with dark hair that fell past his
ears; she recognized him as the man from the hallway earlier that had fixed her
with a stare that made her shiver for all the wrong reasons.
Luke nodded and waved towards Rey, "This is Rey, she is to be one of our new
padawans. We found her on Jakku."
The stranger moved his head towards her, appraising her silently; judging her
for her origins. She knew what people thought about Jakku - and they weren't
wrong - but she felt anger swelling up that it might be all he thought of her.
Just a scavenger from Jakku.
She caught a small smirk flicker across his face, as if he had heard her.
"Hello, Rey from Jakku."
He finally spoke in that voice of his, the words perfunctory but not clipped.
Luke watched him silently, "Rey, this is Ben Organa-Solo. He will be your
teacher."
Ben stiffened and jerked his head to look at his uncle, "What?"
"Han... Solo, the smuggler?" Rey spoke at the same time, just as surprised but
for a different reason.
Luke smiled at their shock, "Rey is older and the council felt it would be best
if she were placed with a direct teacher - a mentor, if you will." He fixed Ben
with a stare, "We spoke of this a year ago, Ben. That this would come. It was
only a matter of finding the right student."
To become a Master Jedi was something Ben wanted fervently, to affirm his skill
at using the Force and show that he was not just a legacy - that he was worthy
of everything he had been given from birth.
"Master Skywalker, I would be honored to accept Rey as my padawan. Please thank
the Council for their guidance and decision."
Ben bowed in front of him and turned to Rey, "I look forward to teaching you,
Rey of Jakku."
With that, he left.
===============================================================================
 
 
 
It was only her second week of Jedi training and Rey was convinced that what
Ben said as he had left their meeting was completely false. His disdain for her
rolled off him in waves, and it didn't help that she was struggling to feel her
connection to the force.
Ben watched her face as she closed her eyes, scowling at her; he knew it wasn't
fair to take out his anger at the council on her, but they were right - he had
never been good at controlling his emotions. It also didn't help that Rey's
presence in the force drew her to him; Ben had always been powerful - the Jedi
found he could do things that they had never heard about - but he had never
been able to sense someone's presence before. Unless they were connected.
But he had no connection to this young and untrained scavenger; his scowl
lifted, an attempt not to scare her, "Rey, what do you feel?"
"I feel silly, this is-"
"Very important," he interrupted with a quiet murmur, and she stiffened as she
realized how close he was to her face. "Do you feel how close I am right now?"
Rey shifted a bit, "Yes."
Ben pulled away, watching how her emotions were written all over her body and
face, "You sensed me, but you did not feelme. That is what the force is like.
You know it's there, but you cannot touch it. Once you accept that it is there
for you to pull from, this will be easier."
She opened her eyes and contemplated what he was saying, and he fixed her with
a stare - unmoving. Rey didn't know what to make of her new teacher, except
that she expected to be confused a lot. About the teaching or the teacher, she
couldn't say.
"Alright," she whispered as she closed her eyes again.
===============================================================================
 
It had been a month of training and Ben finally allowed her the use of her
preferred weapon - her staff. It was unusual that a padawan would already have
had weapons training when they arrived at the Academy, but he acknowledged that
Rey was no ordinary student.
She was far stronger than he had suspected at first, and knew she would only
grow; Ben found himself protective of her, knowing that to be so powerful in
something very few people understood could be troubling.
But Rey didn't have the problems he had growing up; it turned out she was great
at making friends, and he saw her peers laughing as they roamed the halls and
ate meals. What once would have made him bitter instead made him happy. He
clenched his fists at the realization - whatever Master Luke had wanted him to
learn in order to become a Master, he feared he was learning it.
Rey looked over and her large smile fell a little bit and Ben felt his heart
drop; he had accepted that his peers and fellow Jedi feared him, but for his
padawan to as well was…surprisingly difficult.
Moving slowly towards him, Rey noticed the tables around them got quieter,
"Hello, Master Ben."
"I'm not a master, Rey, only your teacher. You may just call me Ben."
He didn't want to be called by a title he had not earned, and she wondered at
that. "Were you going to eat? We have room, if you'd like to join us."
Ben didn't bother looking in the direction she pointed, and instead stared at
her earnest face. She was so young, so loved already, he knew that breaking the
student-teacher line wasn't a good idea. Even if it was only to eat a meal.
"No, thank you. I was just picking it up, I have to meet with Master Jolee this
evening."
Rey just nodded, accepting his excuse; she knew he was lying, even after such a
short time she could sense it, feel it - recognize it. But only with him; she
didn't know if this was normal, and was scared to bring it up.
Sitting back down at her friends' table, she watched his large form move
through the expansive room. Briefly, she wondered if he would ever wear lighter
training gear; she shook off the thought quickly, not wanting to focus on the
strength of his back and the lines of his arms.
"Hey Rey, how do you deal with him?" Her friend Finn asked curiously.
Rey turned and fixed him with a confused frown, "Deal with who?"
"Ben! He's so…intimidating," Finn shuddered and she saw the others nod in
agreement. Rey just shrugged and didn't bother explaining any further. He was
certainly not the most congenial person, but he had been a good teacher thus
far. And when he thought she couldn't see, she felt the warmth of his smile
when she triumphed over a task he had set.
He wasn't what she expected, but his coldness in the beginning had wavered with
time. At least with her.
===============================================================================
 
Ben twirled the training sword as she advanced upon him with her staff; they
had been practicing a specific form of fighting for weeks and he was just at
the point where he had to start trying.
He watched her intent face, soft tendrils of her hair escaping the three bun
style she had kept since arriving from Jakku. On days when there was a lull in
their discussions, he wanted to ask her about the unusual style, but every time
he bit it back. It was highly inappropriate to ask personal things about her,
he was there to teach her how to be a Jedi; she had friends to be personal
with.
The sound of the staff slicing through the air brought him to the present and
he ducked quickly; she had almost hit him soundly in the head.
"Careful now, Master, if you get hurt my lessons get put on hold," Rey smiled
through her verbal jab and stepped back to engage once again.
Ben shook his head and as he advanced, they locked weapons; he watched her
smile drop as she heaved from the strength she used to push against him.
"And here is where your footwork comes in to play," he said, always mindful of
the lessons she needed.
Rey barely heard him as she stared at him; every time she tried to push against
him or move her staff, he stopped her. She didn't know how to disengage without
losing an arm or her staff, but all she could think about was how close he was.
Some of his hair fell across his face and Rey watched it brush his cheek; she
realized as he snapped back that she had leaned in so much that their noses
were almost touching.
Ben backed away in silence, turning around to return the training sword to the
wall, "That will be all for today, Rey. Good work."
Rey moved towards him, but thought better of it; he had never acknowledged the
other moments where they had flirted with the line, why would this time be any
different?
===============================================================================
 
Ben felt hands push against his naked body, forcing him backwards onto his
large bed; he heard a voice whispering to him, but didn't understand the words.
A lithe form crawled over him, its body tiny compared to his, their arms and
legs straddling his body. He moved his hands up their body and brushed over the
hidden face. As he did so, her face became clear - and he realized whoshe was.
Rey.
He groaned and tried to push her off of him, but she locked her legs around his
hips and sat back onto his thighs. As she did, he felt her arousal against his
skin and grit his teeth.
"Rey, please, you have to stop - go," he whispered with a pained voice. He knew
that what drew him to her had worked its charms on her as well, but the Jedi
lived by a code greater than carnal passion. She deserved better than that from
her teacher.
Rey didn't seem to hear him and instead ran her hands over his chest, up into
his hair, gripping it as she leaned down to kiss his lips.
The strength to push her away left him and his large hands wrapped around her
body, pulling her against his chest. One hand ran up her back gently and he
felt her shiver as their lips moved tentatively against each other.
He had very little experience in kissing since any and all physical forms of
affection were not allowed, but they fell into it with only slight hesitation.
"Rey," he whispered against her lips.
She smiled and lifted her head to watch him, leaning back to take his erection
gently in her hands, "Do you want me?"
A pained grunt was his only answer, but it seemed to be good enough for her.
Rey pushed down against him once more, moving her lips to his ear, "You've been
dreaming about me."
Her hands gripped his erection tighter and his abs clenched, his breath tight,
"Yes." He shuddered at the admission, ashamed of himself.
She just smiled and raised her hips, fitting himself against her, sinking
slowly down. Rey inched slowly down, feeling her body spread open for him,
unused to the intrusion.
Suddenly, she felt more pain than she had expected, a pressure that rejected
the intrusion, and she let out a loud yelp of pain.
Ben jolted up in his bed, ripping off the sheets made wet by his sweat; his
chest heaving, he swung his legs over, sitting on the edge of the bed.
His erection was painful, the feeling of Rey surrounding him still lingered in
his mind. It was so vivid, as if she had actually been there; but he knew it
was completely irrational.
She was too young, too innocent to have these thoughts; what did it tell him
about himself that he lustedfor her? Ben knew he had been drawn to her
strength, but now he found himself coveting her body as well. Her young, lithe,
untouched body.
He clenched his hands and stood up, moving to the shower to rinse off the sheen
of sweat. He hissed as the water hit his erection and he pressed his forehead
against the shower wall, letting out a shudder when he gripped his dick with
one of his large hands.
He hated himself as he thought about how her small hands would feel gripped
around it like she held her staff. He pumped a few times, remembering the
vividness of his dream - how she had slid against his thighs, her liquid
smearing across them.
"Fuck,"he groaned as he smacked the shower wall, gritting his teeth and his
hand gripped harder with every stroke.
He went slow, as slow as Rey had as she sank onto his dick, gripping it with
her muscles. Standing there, the water rushing over his back, he waited a few
moments to just remember.
His hand moved again, faster this time, spreading his feet for greater balance,
squeezing harder and harder, imagining it was Rey forcing her cunt down on him.
"Rey,"he shouted as his seed hit the shower wall in spurts and his chest heaved
from the mixture of exertion and sickness.
Ben pushed off of the wall in horror at how he had just violated his position
as teacher; Rey trusted him, and now every time she smiled at him he would only
be able to think about what that looked like after her lips pulled away from
his.
===============================================================================
 
A few days later,  plagued with similar dreams every night, Ben could barely
look at her as they went through the various forms, trying not to remember the
way it felt to slide against her.
Rey was not unaware of a shift, but it suited her fine; a few weeks ago she had
discovered a new emotion - arousal. It had started after a particularly heated
training session one day when Ben had stripped off his shirt in response to the
heat outside.
She had locked onto the lines of his stomach and chest and barely got through
the rest of the day, heading straight back to her room and falling onto the
bed, exhaling loudly.
It wasn't as if she hadn't known he was attractive - that she was attracted
tohim on some level - she had just thought it was natural in a way, but nothing
serious. When he took off his shirt, she felt a heat and a pull low in her
abdomen, between her legs.
She pressed her legs together on the bed, kicking off her shoes; it was
incrediblystupidto be thinking about her teacher like that. He had been okay up
until now, but there was a reason everyone seemed to not like him - fear him,
really.
There had been whispers about his disregard for the Jedi Code, the emotional
outbursts. What would he say if he knew she likedhim? She would probably have a
new teacher, and the thought pulled at her heart already; she was far too
attached to him.
Pressing her legs together to get rid of the sensation only seemed to make it
worse and she huffed and pressed her back against the bed.
Ben was tall, maybe the tallest human she had ever encountered and she would be
lying if she said that it hadn't intimidated her at first. But he never used it
to intimidate her; he didn't ignore his size in their fight training, but Rey
was taught to focus on how herstrengths could overcome his.
She smiled as she remembered how he had explained bracing her shoulders and
feet to get the maximum strength in a jab with her staff.
He had set his hands gently on her bare upper arms, the move seemingly clinical
and detached - a teacher showing his student how to stand. But she remembered
the way he leaned in too close, his chest pressed almost against her back,
curling around her.
Rey let out a frustrated groan as she felt a pulse between her legs at the
thought. Without another thought, she pulled off her jacket and shirt, exposing
her chest to the air, her nipples reacting almost immediately.
There was nothing wrong with exploring her desires, she knewthat, but as she
slipped her hands into her pants and pulled them off, she felt dirty.
She pulled her legs up, spreading her knees slightly, and planted her feet on
the bed; Rey rested her hands on her chest, calming her breath.
Never before had she touched herself; sure she knew the basics, but it hadn't
been until she met Ben that she felt that desire the women on Jakku spoke of in
whispers.
Massaging her breasts, she thought about how his hands would dwarf them; how he
would cover her whole chest with his hands, pressing down as she squirmed
underneath. Her nipples pebbled as she kneaded them, wishing his oversized
fingers were there instead, twisting and pulling. Rey's hips lifted up
involuntarily, searching on instinct for something to press against.
One hand drifted down between her thighs and she closed her eyes, imagining it
was his; she whined as it grazed her clit and sank lower, feeling her arousal.
"Ben,"she whispered quietly, wishing he was really there watching her. She ran
both her hands along her inner thighs, nervous about what she was doing.
She felt a warmth suffuse her, as if something was telling her it was alright,
and she brought her hand back to her clit, fingers moving over it slowly. Hips
lifted slightly at each pass, her amazed gasps growing louder as she increased
speed and pressure slowly.
Biting her lip, she cautiously pushed her middle finger inside slowly, whining
at the unusual intrusion; she was so slick it went in easily, but as she lay
there, chest heaving and finger still inside of her unmoving she felt fear.
Ben would neverbe able to fit inside of her; he was too large - she knew he had
to be. Moving her finger in and out tentatively made her whine loudly; she felt
her grip on it was loosening and pushed a second one inside.
"Stars, fuck!"She cried out as the heel of her palm pressed against her clit as
she moved her fingers inside of her. It rubbed in circles, mimicking the
pulsing rhythm of her fingers.
The hand which had lain braced on her thigh moved to her breast, pulling at her
nipple again. She kept at it for a long time, her clit pulsing and her body
breathing hard. Her moans had grown louder, echoing off the walls as she moved.
"Oh god,"she cried as she felt something come over her, pressure that had been
building low in her abdomen was pushing down, centering on her clit and her
fingers. Picking up the pace on instinct, she pushed her hips off the bed with
her feet, adding more pressure.
The increased force and speed spilled over and she let out a loud sob, "Ben,
please."As she came, her pussy clasped around her fingers, pulsing as she
pushed in and out, riding the waves.
Her knees collapsed against the bed and she pulled her fingers out, resting her
hand against her thigh.
She lay there in silence for a long time, unable to get the thought of her
teacher's body lying next to her, his hair brushing her chest out of her head.
Maybe it was a good thing he was keeping his distance, because Rey would be
mortified if he ever knew a simple child was using him for her imaginary
pleasure.
Still, her lips curled into a tiny smile as she said out loud, "Thank you,
Master Ben."
===============================================================================
 Ben Organa-Solo stood outside the hallway that led to the padawan rooms, his
head pressed against a nondescript beige door. His chest heaved wildly and his
fist pounded against the wall in a rhythm no one understood. They ignored him
though, as they always did.
He had come to apologize for their last session, he had ended it rather
abruptly and felt she shouldn't have to face his wrath just because he couldn't
keep dream-Rey separate from real-Rey.
But as he walked closer to her quarters, he felt a wave of heat wash over him,
nearly paralyzing him with desire.
He knew without checking that it was Rey projecting her emotions, and he went
to stand in front of the door. Ben certainly didn't want to interrupt whatever
was going on, but to save her the embarrassment of her peers he extended a
silencing force bubble around her room, cutting anyone off to what was
happening.
Ben knew no one would be able to recognize either one, as he was far more adept
than any padawan, but wanted to protect her nonetheless.
He hadn't expected to hear his name faintly whispered on the other side of the
door, he slammed his head against it and groaned. Ben knew with certainty what
she was doing and knew it would haunt his dreams even more.
How would he get through her entire training? Yearsof this?
Rolling his forehead against the door, he slammed the wall with his palm as he
heard her moans, begging him to touch her.
He would. He would have touched her, it would have been so easy to interrupt
and help her continue.
But he was far too old for her, she was too young, and his student. Ben
clenched his fists, imagining her perky round breasts in his oversized hands
and groaned himself, his erection making his clothes uncomfortable.
By the time she had finished, he was delirious with desire and ripped his head
and hands away, dropping the shield and stomped away, the glare on his face a
warning to anyone who looked to stop him.
He would have to get her out of his system without defiling her, Jedi Code or
no.
===============================================================================
 
Chapter End Notes
     Author's Note: alallalalalalaalalala *crosses off masturbation on the
     kink list*
***** a risky endeavor *****
Chapter Notes
     heads up there's some pseudo roleplay, rough sex, virginity, etc. in
     this one. but I know you like it or else why would you be reading
     this story?!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     "Desiring another person is perhaps the most risky endeavor of all."
                              ― Elizabeth Gilbert
The dark Jedi hovered over the woman's body, jerking his hips roughly into her,
grinding against her clit. She tried to keep her moans quiet, knowing he didn't
like them - they were here for one reason, and any additional theatrics were
met with disdain.
His head dropped down, dark black hair brushing against her neck, "Oh fuck,
Kylo."
Ben groaned at his secret name, the only one he allowed her to speak when they
met. He dropped to his elbows and pressed along her body, slowing for more
powerful thrusts that made her mewl as her hips moved with his movements.
Her hands ran through his hair, cradling his head against her neck, "Kylo,
Kylo."
She begged him and with each whisper of his name he groaned and sped up.
Nails raked over his scalp and he hissed loudly, "Rey, please, I can't-"
"Come for me, baby," she felt him shudder and she gripped his ass, pressing
closer to him, aiding in his thrusts as his movements became unhinged.
The pull became overwhelming and he let go, his body going rigid above the
woman who pulled against his hair in arrested ecstasy.
He whispered hername over and over as he came, his cum filling the woman
beneath him.
She ran her hands down his back, soothing him as they came down from the high.
"You are certainly worthy of being a Master Jedi, Kylo," she laughed lightly.
He stiffened at her words and pushed off, climbing out of bed and walking to
the fresher. Snatching a towel, he cleaned himself off and pulled on his pants.
Outside, she waited a few minutes, catching her breath on the bed, knowing he
needed time. She watched him walk out with a damp washcloth and he wiped her
thighs and center clean of his cum.
"Kylo," she said into the silence, but he ignored her - knowing what she would
say.
He left again and returned fully dressed, finally looking at her, "I don't
think I can do this anymore, Syndra."
She sighed, they went through this every time in different forms and words,
"Alright."
"I mean it, this is over," he fixed her, his tell-tale cold stare back in
place, so different than when he moved over her. "When we started this, I
thought it would make everything better, make me forget her."
He let out a wracking sigh, "But it didn't. And every time she looks at me I
feel sick about it, about what I'm doing - this is twisted."
She raised up on her knees above the bed, careless of her nakedness, "We had a
deal, Kylo, if you end this you run the risk of me telling the council all your
dirty secrets, Jedi."
She spat the last word as a curse and in the next moment she fell back against
the bed, clawing at her throat.
Ben held his hand out, a force grip around her throat, and he came to stand
over her, looming with a stoic expression.
"You will not tell anyone, you know what awaits you if you even so much as
hintat what our relationship consisted of. I would have my mother assign you to
the furthest delegation on the Outer Rim. AfterI wiped your memory."
Her eyes filled with fear, she knew people stayed away from him, there were
whispers even outside of the Jedi Order about his emotions. But never had he
raised a hand to her.
He must have seen something in her mind that acquiesced to him and he released
her, wracked with coughs. Hands felt around her throat, "Damn you, Ben, you
need to figure your shit out."
He backed away, ignoring the use of his real name, "I know, I told you I can't
do this anymore."
"She'll never want you after this," Syndra spat in anger.
"It doesn't matter, I would never have been able to have her in the first
place. We are Jedi, it is forbidden," he spoke quietly and she could feel him
pulling away, folding in on himself.
Syndra knew the whole sordid story, when he had visited her that night two
years ago he was frantic with need and he had told her. They hadn't met like
that in years, but fell into the habit again easily. It wasn't her name he
whispered, it was Rey - his student and padawan, she learned later.
He came to her multiple times a week, always to slake a need for something he
couldn't have. She knew even their affair was something blatantly against the
Jedi Code, so she asked him for things. He had pull with his mother, Senator
Organa, and Syndra was very politically ambitious.
So she played along with the twisted roleplay, pretending she was his Rey. For
two years he went back and forth between calling it off and coming back, but he
always came back when the need became too great.
Syndra had never met the girl, but whoever she was she hoped that she never
found out about this. It would surely terrify her and he would lose his
padawan.
Which, it turns out, was one his biggest fears. Her throat was sore, and Ben
watched her press her fingers against it, checking for any injuries.
"I will uphold our deal, and you will keep quiet. I don't want to see you
again, I mean it."
With that, he pulled his dark hood up and left her room, slipping unseen out of
the diplomatic quarters, heading back to his place at the Academy.
===============================================================================
"Again, Rey!" His voice was harsh and it rang throughout the training room as
they ran through the various forms of fighting. They were locked into the
choreographed movements of their warm up, training swords clashing heavily.
Minutes passed in silence afterwards, just Rey's grunts and Ben's ferocious
glare. Finally her sword struck his back as he spun around, catching him off
guard, and he fell to the ground in surrender.
He rolled onto his back and looked up at her, grinning, "Not bad, padawan."
Rey twirled her the training saber around in a mimic of his style and looked
down, "I had a good teacher, Master."
"I'm not a master, Rey, just a Jedi." He sighed and jumped up off the ground,
taking her sword and returning it to the wall.
"Well, Ithink you're already a Master Jedi," her voice was light and flirty,
something that he cherished even though it killed him. She was open about her
attraction to him, which made it nearly impossible for him to move on.
But nonetheless, they had both learned a great deal about the sacred bond
between a Jedi and his padawan and she had the potential to be as strong as
Ben, well on her way to becoming one of the most powerful Jedi.
"Rey, we've talked about this," he turned towards her and looked at her
seriously, "You can't….do that with me."
Rey tilted her head, "Do what?"
"You know what."
She sighed, agreeing - she knew exactly what he meant. They had talked about it
many times - but still she flirted incessantly and only in private. Ben had
been her sexual awakening and it had only grown with time - every time she
convinced him to have a meal with her and learned more about his family.
Her friends and peers still looked at her with shock and horror as she sat with
him in the hallway, talking as if they didn't have ten years and a world
separating them. They whispered to her in the evenings, asking what he was
like, and she would just shrug and say a good teacher.But in reality the only
thing she wanted to do was climb into his lap and kiss him until his arms
wrapped around her body.
It would never happen, she knew; he had rebuffed and shut her down constantly
over the years. He had never made her feel foolish, but she knew he wanted to
be a Master Jedi and breaking both the Jedi Code andthe padawan-Jedi
relationship at the same time would set him off course.
Rey felt fingers under her chin, guiding her eyes up to his, "It has nothing to
do with you, Rey. It is not the Jedi way, this thing you want from me."
He implored her with his eyes and she swallowed, nodding. Ben stepped back and
moved to leave, "I have a meeting with Master Skywalker, I'll find you
afterwards for your next lesson."
She watched his confident walk as he left her and shook her head to clear the
thoughts before they formed.
===============================================================================
"Jedi Organa-Solo, thank you for coming," Luke gestured for his nephew to
enter. Ben walked into the room and stood in front of him, legs parted and
hands clasped behind his back.
"What do you need of me?"
Luke's lips cut up in a smile, the Jedi in front of him had come far in the
short time he had spent with his padawan; tempered him, most of the council
said. He would be a Master Jedi soon, Luke felt it.
"I have a mission for you, and your padawan Rey. It involves an investigation
on Arkanis, some locals have reported an area that causes people to attack each
other if they enter at the same time."
Ben took a deep breath, knowing they were testing him and his skills with this
- he was a step closer to what he had always wanted. "Thank you, Master
Skywalker, I am eager for this mission. I know Rey will be as well."
Luke's senses sharpened when he heard Ben speak Rey's name, but he dismissed
it; padawans and their teachers were always close - his father and Obi-Wan were
a good example. They were like brothers.
"Your informational holoreader is in your room, may the force be with you,
nephew."
===============================================================================
He had underestimated how hard it would be to travel with Rey alone, sleeping
in close quarters, seeing her after her shower. It took them three cycles to
reach Arkanis and by that time, he was nearly mad with desire. Only he no
longer had Syndra to sate the hunger, and watching Rey move with blurry eyes in
the morning quickly proved she would no longer be good enough to fake being Rey
for him.
They were moving through the forest, looking for the cave the locals had marked
for them.
"So how exactly are we supposed to avoid the whole killing each other issue?"
She asked beside him.
Ben glanced over at her and nearly tripped at the inquisitive look she shot
him; she was so beautifulwhen she was curious - always.
Shaking his head, he spoke, "We'll have to form a force…barrier, basically. But
in our minds, so whatever is affecting the impulse control won't harm us."
Rey just nodded, understanding what he meant, they had practiced mind-based
Force skills quite a bit since she was surprisingly adept at them.
"We're getting close, if we're going to find the cause of the anomaly it's best
we guard ourselves before we get there."
Gesturing towards her, they grasped each others' hands and bowed their heads to
center and focus on the task at hand. Rey could feel his raw power coursing
through her body, felt the dark power that was there just as much as light.
It was intoxicating. It always was, with them.
He felt the barrier around her mind form and smiled that she had achieved it
before him; Rey was truly an adept student.
Ben opened his eyes and looked at her, pressing against her mind as a test,
"We're good, let's continue."
Rey adjusted the lightsaber at her waist and followed him.
After another ten minutes of walking towards the cave, his body slowly became
heavy with desire and he shook his head, "Rey, do you feel-"
He collapsed to his knees and she rushed up to him, "Ben! Are you okay,
Master?"
Ben pushed her away with the force, so unexpected it took her a moment to
regain her control.
"Rey. Leave now."
She shook her head, not that he could see - his hands and knees were on the
ground, chest heaving. He felt a gentle head against his back, "Ben, what's
wrong?"
He groaned, the touch shooting pain straight to his rock hard erection he was
trying to hide from her. "I know what this place is, it doesn't cause violence
- it turns your most repressed feeling into reality."
She crouched in front of him and he lifted his head to watch her, fearing she
would realize what was wrong before he could convince her to leave him.
A soft push hit his mind and he was in no condition to keep her out, and he
felt her gasp as she realized what was wrong.
"Your most repressed feeling is…lust?"
He clinched his teeth, "No. Desire."
Rey scrunched up her nose, watching the way he got up and stumbled towards the
large boulders flanking the cave. "What's the difference?"
"Lust is rutting, desire is a…deeper need."
She looked back at the way they came, knowing she should leave, "What happens
if I leave you, Master?"
A loud groan escaped him and he barely kept his hands on the boulder. He just
kept shaking his head and she entered his mind again to get her answer.
"Well that'snot going to happen," she said emphatically, almost eager at the
opportunity in front of her. If he didn't resolve this feeling and ride out the
compulsion, he would be rendered mad.
In the history, everyone around the cave had killed each other, no one had ever
survived or resisted it. Rey could survive it, she knew, but so might Ben.
She unbuckled her belt and let it fall to the ground, slowly removing her shirt
behind him; Ben was too lost in his attempts to fight it off to realize what
she was doing.
Rey stepped out of the last of her clothes and then her shoes and walked up
behind her Master, hand curling around his arm as she forced him to turn
around.
He cried out in despair, "Rey, please."
"You need this, let me give it to you." She took his hand and placed it on one
of her breasts and he snapped, pulling her to him and leaning down to kiss her.
His hands spread across the entirety of her back and she groaned at being
surrounded by him finally.
He ripped away from her lips, "This isn't right, please don't make me do this."
His eyes pleaded with hers, the pain almost too much to bear.
But Rey just grinned lasciviously, "Don't worry, Master. I feel it, too." She
pulled his hand between her legs and used his fingers to rub her clit as he
stood there gaping at her in shock.
He ripped his hand away and picked her up, slamming her against the rock, "I
warned you to go, now face the consequences of your rebellion."
"I'll take whatever you give me, Master," she squirmed, undeterred by the
darkness in his voice.
His hand flew out and forced her legs and hands apart as he unbuckled his belt,
throwing it to the ground as he stripped the rest of his clothes off. She
stared hungrily at his cock, twitching against his stomach it was so hard.
She smiled at him, "It's much bigger than I imagined, Master Ben."
"Fuck,"it's like she knew exactly what he wanted to hear, in all his fantasies.
He pressed his hand against her chest and his fingers went into her pussy with
no warning. She cried out in pain and he relished it. "I told you, you don't
know who you're playing with. You'll be raw when I'm done with you."
She tried to move her hips against him, but was still held down; his thumb
circled her clit and she sobbed at the feeling. It was so much more than she
had ever dreamed of, than she had ever been able to do herself.
"Ben….please," she didn't even know what she was asking for, but he didn't want
her begging.
He released her from the hold and she rolled off the boulder and barely got to
her feet before he pushed her to her knees, gripping her hair to look up at
him.
"No begging, padawan," He gripped his dick in his hand, pumping it a few times
as he watched her eyes go wild at the reality of the situation. "Be careful
what you wish for, Rey. Now open your mouth and accept what you begged for."
She was slow to do what he asked and he jerked her head in a silent command;
Rey opened her mouth, eyes watching his face with a mixture of fear and
excitement. He moved closer and pushed his cock into her mouth slowly, letting
her adjust her mouth and throat around it.
He felt her teeth graze against him and he hissed in pleasure, "Good girl, Rey.
Suck your Master's cock, you wanted to do this for years didn't you?"
Rey closed her eyes in pleasure, humming her agreement as she pulled back
slightly; he took her action as withdrawal and he gripped her hair harder and
shoved her back onto his cock, the tip sliding down her throat.
She gagged around it and he hissed in pleasure, holding her head in place as he
fucked her rosy mouth with an irrational fervor.
Somewhere in the corner of his mind, the undrugged Ben Organa-Solo was weeping
at what he was doing to the girl he had so carefully stayed away from, but that
was soon flooded with the animalistic urge to continue feeding his desire.
For her.
He wasn't sure if Rey realized it or not, that the reason the distinction
between desireand lustwas so important was because of her.
Ben abruptly pulled her away before he could come; he knelt to place his face
before her and studied her face as she got her bearings.
"First time you've ever sucked a dick, padawan?"
Instead of timidly answering as he expected, she smiled coyly, "Yes, I wanted
you to be my first."
He grunted and pulled her up, pushing her against the rock again, but before he
could do anything else she stunned him, "But I practiced an awful lot."
Lips met hers again and she dipped to stroke his raging hard-on again; Ben's
determination finally snapped and he lined himself up to her entrance and
watched her lips. Breath was coming in haggard gasps between the both of them;
he knew she wasn't affected by the strange drug, but it certainly seemed as if
she had been.
"Ben," she whispered, bringing him back to the reality, feeling her hips try to
push down on him without his help.
He snapped and let out a predatory growl as he gripped her hips in place and
forced himself into her in one hard thrust. Her screams echoed through the cave
entrance and surrounding forest and he drank them in, not caring about anything
more than his desire for her - to sate it.
He took a nipple into his mouth and pulled at it with his teeth, causing more
cries of pain, her body shuddering around him. Letting go of the nipple he
moved to her neck, dragging his tongue up to her ear before he whispered, "Do
you still want me, little padawan?"
Tears hit his cheek and he licked them off her face, still buried within her
after the one thrust that ruined her for all other men, the thrust that claimed
her as his.
"Yes," she whispered, softly but confidently. He paused, pulling back to watch
her face and gauge her sincerity.
"I've wanted you for so long, Ben. You said no, you were clear, but I can't
pass this chance up. I may never get another one. I'll take all of this and beg
for more."
Ben shuddered and buried his head into her neck, kissing it, sucking it softly.
An apology.
"I can't…it's hard to control it, I don't know if I can be gentle…right now,"
he struggled to force the words out, his body quivering with trying to control
his drug-amplified desire.
Her hands brushed his back, soothing him, "It's my first time, Ben. Be my
teacher in this, too. Focus on that, show me how to love you."
"Rey…" He couldn't respond to that, knowing anything he would say would make
the aftermath even worse. It was already going to be much, much worse than she
thought it would be.
Instead of responding, he kissed her lips lightly and picked her legs up,
wrapping them around his waist. She hissed at the movement, but it turned into
a purring when he started lightly circling her clit with his thumb, his hand
pressed against her stomach.
He stayed there, focusing solely on her, until he felt her pussy relax around
him, slicking his dick with arousal again. Pulling out a little bit, he rocked
into her and her head fell back in surprise.
Ben set a leisurely rhythm, mindful of the pain she was still enduring - pain
he had made infinitely worse; she didn't seem to mind it, her mewls and moans
surrounded him.
Finally, he lifted her off the boulder and turned them around, spreading
himself against it and holding her in the air without any support.
She gasped and her hands hit his hard chest; the chest that had awakened her
desire all those years ago. Unable to control herself, she leaned in and licked
his nipple as he had hers; he chuckled darkly, loving it - loving her.
"Hold on, my little padawan," he whispered, and he raised her up and slammed
her back onto his dick. She groaned in full pleasure this time, the angle
hitting something even more hidden, something that caused immediate ripple
effects in her body.
He kept grinding her against him from that position, and she threw her head
back in adoration, baring his erect nipples for him. She was such a beautiful
girl - would be devastating when she matured more; Ben shook his head, knowing
he would never see that after they got back from this trip.
Instead of focusing on that, he pulled her against him, hugging her to him as
he pistoned his hips into hers.
He felt the beginnings of her orgasm as her pussy started fluttering around his
cock and she let out a long moan; he pulled her head back, "Rey, look at me.
I'm doing this.My cock is buried inside of you, making you come - do you like
my cock, little padawan?"
Another wave of pleasure hit her and her voice went mute, but her mind was
suddenly open to him and he felt everything.
"Oh god," he sobbed in horror and pleasure all at once. He felt something snap
into place as he came inside of her in a long stream, dripping down her thighs.
The snap. No. Please no, oh god no.
Rey just curled up against him and he pulled her to him as tightly as he could,
trying to savor the last moments he would ever have with her. Ben smoothed her
hair that had become unraveled, kissing the top of her head.
She smiled against his skin, "We didn't do nearly enough kissing."
"No," he sighed and reluctantly pulled her off of him, trying to avoid her
stare. "This wasn't supposed to happen - this was all wrong. It was
neversupposed to be like this."
Rey stood there for long minutes, watching as he dressed slowly, not making a
single move towards her clothes; as he buckled his belt he looked over at her
briefly before turning away.
"You should get dressed, padawan," the distance was back in his voice. "I'll
find the force-wound in the cave that's caused all this mess."
The sound of boots breaking twigs on the forest ground made her come to, and
when he was out of sight she dressed hurriedly, suddenly ashamed of her
nakedness. This was not how she expected it to go - Rey thought that somehow if
she could just get him to acknowledge that he wanted her, then all of their
problems would be resolved. The tension in their sessions would give way to
playful, sexual teasing.
Instead she just felt cold and ashamed. And angry.
She waited for him, and sensed his moodiness as he walked back up to her.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" She snapped.
"Whatever was happening here is gone, I don't know what it was, but apparently
it's left - or we inadvertently fixed it."
"By fucking." She said it so bluntly that he blanched at the reminder. Rey
turned around and started walking back to their ship, determined to ignore him.
Ben followed her, "Not…exactly. It was because you were unaffected and I
was…not. Whatever it was survived by turning one on each other. With most
people, the repressed feeling is often rage or violence."
There was hesitation in his steps and he couldn't continue; she left it there
for a long time, before finishing for him. "But with you, your most repressed
feeling was desire."
"Yes."
"For me."
"Yes. Look, Rey-"
She spun around, "NO! You don't get to talk to me right now, I gave you
everything- my skills, my future, my virginity, my heart."
A finger jabbed at his chest with every item and he felt himself being torn
apart with each touch, "I've wanted you since I was fifteenand you never gave
me the time of day."
"I am your teacher,Rey. Not only that, I am a Jedi - it is forbidden," he pled
with her, hoping she would see why it was wrong.
"I love you," she said simply. Rey watched his face and it went blank; after a
moment, the cold Ben everyone else knew was back.
"That's not my fault. I was only ever your teacher and you are a teenager with
an infatuation. It will pass."
With that, he brushed past her and she followed, muffled sobs pricking his ears
until they got to the ship and she closed herself off in the bunk room.
He knew it was best that she didn't know everything he felt, it would only make
it harder when he left; she would get over this and become a legendary Jedi to
outshine all others.
She just wouldn't do it with him.
===============================================================================
 
Chapter End Notes
     a few more knocked off, story is building around them. to be clear,
     Kylo/Ben is still the same person, just without Snoke's influence -
     so he wants to be a Jedi, but still has that light/dark duality that
     comes out ;)
***** the ring of fire *****
Chapter Summary
     the backlash from Rey, a decision from Ben, and some definite
     inappropriate use of the force. specifically the darkside.
Chapter Notes
     thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed and encouraged me - I
     drink them like Finn drank the water at Nima outpost
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“One morning, about four o'clock, I was driving my car just about as fast as I
   could. I thought, 'Why am I out on the highway this time of night?' I was
miserable, and it all came to me: 'I'm falling in love with somebody I have no
 right to fall in love with. I can't fall in love with this man, but it's just
                             like a ring of fire.”
                              ― June Carter Cash
They were only a short time away from docking in Coruscant; Ben left the
pilot's chair to inform Rey, who had been hiding in their bunk for the last
several days.
Rapping on the door, he spoke, "Rey, we're almost home. Can we speak a moment
before we land?"
Ben stood there for a few moments and turned around to leave when he heard the
whoosh of the door opening. She stood there, eyes still puffy, arms wrapped
around her body, and he ached.
This was all his fault, he knew that, he should've been stronger - more
prepared. They had been so close, he could've parted ways when they both were
promoted and never been tempted by her again.
"Well, what do you want - to humiliate me some more?" Rey spoke into the
silence and though he flinched at her tone, his eyes didn't leave her face.
Ben sighed, "I'm sorry I was harsh before, but for now I am still your teacher
- it was highly inappropriate and you had to understand that your desires could
not become reality in any way."
Long moments passed and he thought that was all she would give him, so he
walked back and sat down heavily into the pilot's seat.
"What did you mean by, 'For now I'm still your teacher'?"
The voice spoke quietly behind him and he sighed, not bothering to turn around,
"When we land, I'll be requesting to be removed from my duties as your teacher.
You'll either be promoted to Jedi - as I believe you should be - or be assigned
a new teacher."
Rey walked towards him, her body beside his chair, and he looked up at her
finally. "Why would you do that to me?"
"I'm not doing anything  to  you, I care too much about you and your future to
put you through the pain of being paired with a teacher who's done these things
to you. Jedi can't marry, can't form romantic attachments - if you want any
type of future within the order, you can't take whatever you feel for me any
further."
He took her hand as he spoke, brushing her palm with his thumb; it was perhaps
the most selfless thing he had ever done, which wasn't saying much in the grand
scheme of things. Unfortunately, she did not see it that way and slapped him
across the face with the hand he wasn't holding.
"You're a bastard, a  monster,"  Rey ripped her hand from his, watching his
face redden - from the slap or anger, she wasn't sure. "I can't believe I
fawned over you for  years."
He chuckled darkly, "You didn't know any better, there are far better people
out there for you to focus on. I was just the first person you got to know and
you grew attached. Your feelings have nothing to do with me, they will pass
when I leave you be."
Rey screamed in anger and stomped off to the back of the ship, furious with him
- that he thought she was that foolish. She was young, but knew what her heart
wanted. There had been plenty of times in the past few years with the order
where she could have become "attached" to someone else. None of them had been
Ben, though.
She felt the ship land on the edge of the Academy and stood beside him as the
ramp lowered. He stiffened next to her as he saw what awaited them.
"They have come for me, it seems," Ben spoke confidently, something that
confused her. "Be safe, Rey. You've done nothing wrong."
Rey just watched him walk down the ramp, not understanding his words, until the
Jedi guards clasped his wrists behind him. She gasped, realized they had to be
mandalorian shackles, made for cutting off a Jedi's connection to the force.
Suddenly overcome with panic, she ran down the ramp and accosted one of the
guards that walked him into the building.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"We've been under orders from the Council to bring Jedi Organa-Solo to them
immediately upon arrival," he spoke calmly as he continued walking behind his
prisoner.
Rey, let it be. Stay away from me, you don't want to be involved.
She froze mid-step at the voice in her head, knowing it was Ben's, but not
understanding how he was in her head. By the time she came back to reality,
they were gone and he was behind the Council doors.
===============================================================================
"Jedi Organa-Solo," Master Jolee spoke clearly, "It has come to the attention
of this Council that you have been using skills only a dark side user is
capable of. What do you say to this?"
Ben's head was bowed in resignation as he entered the room, expecting an
accusation of violating his padawan's trust - sure that his love for Rey was
written on his entire body, especially now. At Master Jolee's words, though,
his head snapped up and his eyes became fierce, calculating.
"I say to you that these are mere accusations, I have served the Jedi and its
council well in my twenty years of learning and service. Do you have proof
these rumors are true?"
Ben knew they didn't, because although they were true, he didn't use the dark
side in the way the Sith did. The Force just was, and nothing the Council said
would change that.
Master Luke watched his nephew's defiant stance and let out a heavy sigh, "We
do not yet have proof, and you will be kept in seclusion until our
investigation is complete. We must be sure, as the Sith have infiltrated the
Order before under our noses."
Anakin, his grandfather, had been one of those dark side users - he had been
the end of many, many Jedi lives, all under the Council's watchful eyes. It was
because of this that Ben just nodded, accepting that he could do nothing until
they were satisfied that he was not what they feared.
The only person that could confirm he used dark side powers was Syndra, and he
had made it perfectly clear that she would not be pleased if she went to them.
And so he waited.
===============================================================================
A week later, he heard the whoosh of the door opening and opened his eyes to
look at his visitor. He spent much of his day in meditation; not that it did
him any good as far as contact with the Force, since they kept him in the
special chains around the clock.
He blinked from the sudden flow of light and finally recognized Rey standing in
front of him. The door closed behind them and she stood there watching him.
Ben couldn't bring himself to break the silence, knowing if she came to see him
it was with a reason - and she would get to it soon enough.
"Is it true?" Her voice was clear and confident, and he knew she was just
asking to hurt him.
"You know it's true," Ben sighed and looked up at her with no remorse, just
acceptance.
Rey shook her head and sat on the edge of the bed; he swallowed hard at the
brief thought that she was finally in his bed - where he had wanted her for so
long. "I'm surprised you came, I told you not to get involved."
"You're nothing but a liar," he flinched as she spoke quietly, with a current
of anger, "All those words you gave me - the excuses about following the rules
and the Jedi code, all empty to you. Why not just tell me you didn't want me?"
He ran his hand through his hair and the chains clanked, drawing her eyes to
them; Ben pushed his back against the wall opposite of her, watching her
movements.
"All those things I told you were true, I had no interest in influencing you,
to have you follow my beliefs. My job was to train you as a Jedi and that's
what I was doing." She stared at him with crossed arms and he wished he could
feel the Force around him so he could sense what she was feeling underneath her
anger.
"What do you believe?"
The voice was filled with curiosity and his heart swelled, remembering the
sheer beauty of her inquisitiveness.
"I was born of both light and dark influence, as we've spoken of. What is
currently taught is that you must choose one side of the force or the other and
while I understand the reasons  why  it is that way, I believe to deny one side
of my nature is dangerous. The Force is just one thing - itself; it has neither
light nor dark properties. It just is."
She shook her head, "I don't believe that. I've felt your darkness, Ben. That's
not just the Force - the dark side is corrupting you."
A bitter smile hit his face and he took a deep breath, "I was already dark, Rey
- but I am also light. I can be both, can  use  both, without becoming
corrupted because it's already inside of me. I don't think it's something
everyone should follow - it's why I never spoke of it to you or others - but
the only way to keep myself strong and sane was to allow both to exist at the
same time."
Rey scoffed and looked away, gripping the edge of his bed tightly, trying to
decide if she should just go - it was foolish to stay here and listen to more
of his lies. Part of her was glad he had no intention of swaying others to his
cause, that it was just something he practiced, but another was irrationally
angry that he never confided in her.
"That wasn't why I came," she finally spoke, evading the topic altogether. He
raised his hands and gestured for her to continue, "When you were being
escorted to the council chambers, I heard your voice…"
He went deathly still and fear spiked in her stomach; Ben had hoped she would
have brushed it off, but he knew she had to be told sooner or later - and
better by him than others.
"You heard me because we are bonded by the force."
"What does that mean?" Rey's brows furrowed as she stared at him.
He pulled his legs up, knees brushing his chest and rested his hands on them;
staring at nothing. "Force bonds are rare, there are only a few documented in
Jedi history. They signify a deep bond between the two people, they can share
consciousness, communication, their personalities bleed across; if one is
exceptionally stronger than the other, their personality will take over the
other. It can be fatal, if one partner dies."
He sighs, "It most often happens between teachers and students due to the time
they spend working with each other, but it has also happened to lovers who are
force sensitive."
It was that last part that he was most ashamed of, because the bond only sealed
itself during their liaison on Arkanis. He tried to look everywhere but at Rey,
though she had other ideas.
Rey slipped off the bed and knelt in front of him, placing her hands on his
knees; she forced him to look at her.
"But we were both, weren't we? That's why you hate what we did."
"You cannot tell anyone, the council will think you tainted - that whatever
wrong I'm guilty of will also include corrupting you." His hands moved slowly,
but he grasped hers tightly, "You will be stronger than any of them - no matter
what happens to me, you will be the strongest Jedi. Keep it quiet, they will
not accuse you without cause to."
Rey stared at their clasped hands and her heart ached, she was still so mad at
him for his rejection - but how could she believe that when he was so gentle
and caring with her now? Being a Jedi didn't sound so wonderful without Ben as
part of the order, she didn't know if she wanted to be one - it had just been a
life that was offered.
Still, there was no other path she wanted, and if the stories he had told her
of his grandfather were true,  the rules were in place for a reason. He had
fallen to a dark corruption out of his love for Padme, his forbidden wife; the
Sith had used that to their advantage and the Empire had ruled for a generation
because of it.
It certainly explained why Ben had shared such a personal story with her,
because one day she would try to cross the line with him - and he would reject
her. He had been preparing her for that - and she went weak with the knowledge.
Ben smiled, despite the fact that the chains he wore kept him from their force
bond, he knew she was realizing how deep the rabbit hole went. He brought her
back to the present, "Let me see your lightsaber."
She looked shocked and he laughed, "I knew you would be sent on your journey so
you wouldn't harass them about me, but you are worthy of being a Jedi now
nonetheless."
Rey reached behind her and unclasped the long metal hilt, holding it in both
palms. He grinned as he realized it had two openings and when she activated it,
two dark yellow beams shot out, one on either end.
The color was not the bright yellow of the Sentinels of old, but a deep yellow
with flashes of red, creating an orange hue. It was utterly unique, he knew it.
"I haven't shown it to anyone," she whispered, voice trembling; she didn't know
what it meant to have both an unusual blade style  and  color. Rey felt
uncomfortable being different.
Ben touched the hilt gently, "It is a unique color, Rey. But it is
predominantly yellow, a color that signifies a Jedi who favors balance -
academics and combat, that is. The orange is more rare, though I do not know
what it means. It is possible it simply is a signifier of my influence, our
bond - as it is an aspect of the darker side of the force."
"So it's unique, like yours is," she tried to bite back the desperation in her
voice, her need to have something to show that they were similar. Ben's blade
had been a sore point between him and his Uncle since he had built it in a
trance when he was 16.
It was an old, old style that had been refined by him over the years - a
crossguard lightsaber, one sword and two exhaust ports. Though the style was
unusual and worrisome to the other Jedi, it had been nothing compared to the
dark purple color that his kyber crystal had become.
That was when Ben had understood that his nature was different than the others
- he had both light and dark, fused as one - much like the Force. There was
nothing the Jedi could do, so they allowed it - as the Force wills, they said.
"Yes, I suppose it is. But not as alarming; they might even take it as a
portent of your importance in their future. Sentinels were rare, but strong -
they valued balance in all things, even their studies."
There was a knock at the door and she cut the saber off, the light leaving the
room abruptly.
"I guess my time is up."
Ben just nodded, "It was good to see you, Rey. Be safe, remember what I warned
you about."
She lifted herself up off the floor and stood in front of him, looking down,
trying to decide what to make of their conversation and the revelations
therein.
"I'll see you later," she said finally.
He nodded, knowing it was unlikely, "May the force be with you."
===============================================================================
"Ben Organa-Solo," Master Skywalker spoke, deliberately leaving off his title
of Jedi. "You have been accused of the use of the dark side of the force and
possible corruption of the Jedi within our care. Do you have anything to say in
your defense before we continue?"
Ben fixed each member with a cold stare, moving to each of them at an agonizing
pace, judging them. He could feel the ripple of darkness inside of him despite
the chains on his wrists. "I would only say that there is no proof that these
allegations have merit, as I am sure you have discovered in the past month."
The room was deathly silent for minutes after, and he knew he had spoken
correctly - they would have no proof, but that wouldn't keep them from casting
him out of their order. He felt the edge of anger boiling inside of him, his
future slipping away because of an archaic and restrictive system.
"You are correct, Ben. We have not found anything other than the initial
allegations and rumors. However, they are enough to warrant caution and as
such, you will be stripped of your title and unable to earn the rank of Master
until you have proven we can trust you. Also-"
"I'm afraid that won't work for me, Uncle. With respect to this institution,
the rank of Master Jedi is no longer appealing to me. I will be withdrawing
from the Order immediately. Thank you for your training and consideration."
Ben knew he had shocked them all, no one voluntarily left the Jedi Order,
"There is no need for that, you will be able to earn the honor in the future -"
He raised his hand, silencing them, the mandalorian shackles dropped from his
wrists, "Yes, as long as I prove worthy of your trust. Funny thing, though, I
already had. I spent almost twenty years studying to be a Jedi and Master, I
acquiesced to teaching an older padawan - one who became a Jedi in record time.
And yet I am to lose all credibility because of an accusation that has no
evidence to it?"
The council shifted in their seats, uncomfortable; good, they should be. His
voice dropped, malice lacing it, "I fear I no longer care for the concerns of
the Jedi order."
He turned and left, the shackles resting in the center of the room. They had
not been able to hold him, and the Master Jedi realized that the only thing
controlling Ben Organa-Solo was himself.
===============================================================================
She felt his presence almost immediately when the chains fell off, felt his
anger and the coolness of his mind. Rey waited for a while, hoping he might
come to see her, but he never showed up.
She ran into Finn in the hallway as she left her quarters, "Rey! Did you hear?
The council wanted to strip Jedi Solo of his title and he  left.  He just left
the order! Who does that?"
Finn looked baffled, but Rey had a sick feeling in her stomach and she pushed
away from him, running towards the entrance of the Academy. She hoped to catch
him before he left.
His heavy gait was amplified by the anger at how he had been treated by the
order after decades of devotion. He knew what he had done was right, that this
was his path, but the knowledge brought him no warmth.
There was a ripple in his mind and he froze, recognizing her across their bond,
and pulled into the shadows of the hallway. He knew where she was headed, and
as she walked by he gripped her by the arm and placed his hand over her mouth.
He dragged her into his now-empty quarters, releasing her when the door shut
behind them.
Eyes watched her, giving nothing away, and she didn't know what to say now that
she had found him. Her heart sped up as the emotionless man stared at her in
the long moments of silence, fear creeping in; as she took a step away from
him, he spoke.
"By now you've heard news of my fate," he said quietly.
And anger at his choice, at his lack of emotion, angered  her;  she stepped up
and moved to strike his face.
A gloved hand casually reached up to block hers, as if he had known this would
be her reaction.  Calm yourself, Jedi.
She ripped her hand out of his, startled that he would use something he had
told her not to speak of.
"I'm perfectly  calm,  Ben. What -"
A hand brushed against her cheek and she went quiet, leaning into it against
her better judgment, his eyes watched where his fingers hit her skin. "Don't be
afraid, we will always be connected even if I am not here. If you need me."
She let herself indulge the way his fingers pressed against her, then slapped
his hand away, "How dare you try to use my affection for you? You rejected it,
you don't get to do that now. You're a disgrace to the Jedi order, I'm
surprised they would even let you  stay.  I should tell them exactly what
you've done."
She was trying to get him to talk about what had happened, but all he seemed to
want to do was give her platitudes. He was angry, but understood why she
threatened him - fear. The urge to leave her there, leave the conversation, was
strong - despite his anger at the order, the archaic rules that were in place
that had just erased the past twenty years of his life - but the fear in her
eyes kept him rooted. His mind was running quickly, but his posture showed no
warmth. The darkness that he had used in the council chambers was still on the
edge of his consciousness.
"Ben!"  He fixed her with a cold stare – she didn’t understand why he had
pulled her here if he was clearly so eager to leave and forget her without a
single explanation besides 'I'll still be with you.'
He said nothing in the cold silence, but Rey watched his eyes as they raked
over her. She fought the instinct to wrap her arms around her body, but Ben
picked up on it and flicked his hand at her in annoyance. Rey felt her body
being pushed back against the wall, her hands pinned above her head.
She watched him advance towards her with slight fear - not at what he would do
to her, but that her body trembled in desire at the thought of being touched by
him. Again.
Ben watched her involuntarily struggle against the hold he had put on her
hands, amusement dancing on his lips - she could break it at any time, but
instead her instinct was to just press against it deliciously.
"You are not allowed to cover yourself in my presence," he said in his velvet
voice that sent shivers down her spine. "You are still wary of this desire that
builds inside of you even now, when you should instead embrace it."
Rey furrowed her brow, "That's not what we're taught, it's not what  you
taught me." She didn't understand the strange pull they had towards each other
that made them flirt with the line that was yet another thing the Jedi were and
are very clear about – no romantic attachments.
"The Jedi are wrong," he said simply, putting an end to the conversation. He
walked towards her, his steps confident, and brushed his hand gently across her
cheek, gliding into her hair. She felt her buns come undone, her hair falling
around her shoulders. He continued to work in silence as his fingers wrapped
around her throat and down her chest, finally resting at her hips; Ben gripped
them in large hand that spanned half of her body and she let out an audible
gasp at the pressure.
He closed the space between them, pressing his body against hers, and leaned
down to whisper in her ear, "I've thought of this every day since you arrived,
you haunted my dreams. It only grew worse after…" She felt his body shudder
against hers, at the memory, and his nose dragged against the edge of her face,
his lips pressing softly against her neck.
Hands that dwarfed hers pressed into her skin, teasing bruised flesh in the
morning, pulling her hips against his. He still held her against the wall with
the force, her feet dangling in the air so their bodies aligned perfectly; she
groaned at being so manipulated - against the voices that whispered opposition
to such vulnerability.
Ben's hands moved upwards, pulling her top up her chest and over her arms,
letting it fall to the ground. She had never seen him so fixated on something,
his breaths coming quicker - in time with hers - eyes roaming her torso. Rey
felt her nipples pebbling with arousal, at the hungry look in his eyes as he
leaned in to touch them, his tongue took a long lick over one and her hips
moved against his in reaction.
A hand reached up to press against her stomach as he took her breast in his
mouth; she had always known they were smaller than most, but he didn't seem to
mind.
He pulled away briefly, "They're perfect."
She didn't ask how he knew what she was thinking, didn't need to. They didn't
speak about it much, but their connection was deeper than physical touches.
Teeth gripped a nipple as Ben's fingers twisted the other and she let out a
loud  "Oh!"  as he pulled it before starting to suck. The noises that filled
the room were intoxicating and Rey found herself filling it with her own mewls
as her breasts were suckled.
Finally, his fingers hooked into her pants and drew them off, her shoes hitting
the ground with them. She felt exposed as he spread her legs apart to look at
her bare sex.
Ben looked up into her eyes and the coldness and hunger had been replaced with
a desperation that warmed her body even more. "You deserved to be  worshipped,
Rey."
And he believed it. He watched in fascination as the moisture that had built up
between her legs began to spread across the lips and edges of her thighs.
Shuddering, his fingers moved across her entrance, moaning her name as he felt
the warm liquid. Evidence of her arousal.
He pulled away abruptly and studied her, watching her chest heave with
anticipation. "Do you want this?" He asked seriously, disarming her with the
rapid shift, her mind hazy with desire.
"What?" Was all she could muster, confused why he would bother asking that when
it was clearly evident.
His irritation flickered briefly across his face, but he was still intently
looking at her, "Do. You. Want. This." He repeated with emphasis, slowly
dragging each word out in case she missed it.
Rey's anger sparked at the question, "I've always wanted you. My dreams are
filled with thoughts of you - and Arkanis…" She whispered the last word and it
seemed to convince him and she watched him pull towards her again, feeling his
resolve and contentment at her answer.
She knew what they did was dangerous - foolish - but as his tongue dragged
across her slit, she couldn't find it in herself to care.
He knelt in front of her, watching her head fall against the wall as his tongue
met her most private place; he felt flashes of her memories - memories of when
she touched herself there, thinking of him. He pulled away to take his gloves
off, smirking at the way she whined at his absence.
"Patience, padawan."
"Please."  Was all she said and he wrapped her leg over his shoulder, taking a
deep breath between her thighs. She felt uncomfortable at being so exposed, but
it went away when he pushed two fingers inside of her at the same time his
tongue circled her clit.
Nothing she had ever done to herself could have ever prepared for the
sensations she was now experiencing. Ben pulled his fingers out and gripped her
ass with both hands, pushing her pussy tighter against his mouth. She felt his
eagerness as his tongue pushed inside of her, licking where his fingers had
just been - twisting as he pulled it out to suck on her clit again, laving it
with his tongue.
This went on for minutes before Ben finally looked up at her face from between
her legs, speaking softly, the vibrations of his voice filling her with
pleasure, "Is this what you wanted, Rey?"
She couldn't speak and he watched her as he inserted two fingers inside of her
once more, thumb pressing against her clit as they moved. "When you were on
your bed late at night imagining me...did you want  this?"
He flicked her clit with his thumb as he inserted a third finger, making her
cry out at the surprise addition. Her chest was heaving at the sensations and
anticipation he was building.
Ben stood up, his hand still working her viciously, and kissed her lips softly
- unexpectedly. Rey didn't think that would be a part of whatever this was, but
his lips seemed to be made for kissing and she eagerly accepted, despite her
limited experience.
He let her hands fall and she wrapped them around his neck, brushing into his
hair as her mouth opened to his, meeting his tongue hesitatingly. It was much
more than she had ever hoped for, and far better than she had ever dreamed.
His hand pulled away from her and wrapped her legs around his still-clothed
body. She whined against his lips and he bit hers in response; lifting her away
from the wall, he broke away from her kiss and walked them to his bed, laying
her down.
Stepping away, he disrobed slowly, watching the way her eyes appraised him.
Last time, his mind was lost in the madness and he was unable to truly
appreciate her beauty, but instead of speaking he just watched her.
She resisted the urge to cover herself as he pulled the last slip of clothing
away from his body, his firm and broad shape finally open to her view. Rey
thought it should be illegal for any Jedi to be this tempting.
His temper flared, "I am no Jedi, not anymore." The time for quiet watching was
over and he climbed on top of her, spreading her small and nubile body apart
for him. Her legs were angled up around his thighs as he knelt between her, his
large hands squeezing her thighs hard.
He leaned over, laying his body against her, dwarfing it; he bit her collarbone
and she whimpered as he sucked at it, leaving marks along it. His
possessiveness scared her a little bit and he growled at that thought.
"You asked for me, you  begged  me for this." He held his dick at her entrance
and her legs were forced wider, feet flat on the bed; with no other warning, he
pushed into her - not as rough as the first time, but forceful. She screamed at
it, still not used to his size, and he laughed darkly, "Be careful what you
wish for, Rey."
He pulled out and rammed into her again, "You might just  get it."
She shuddered at his cold voice in her ear, "I want this, I'm not afraid of
you." Her voice was strong but low; he heard it though and looked at her as he
pulled out slowly, pushing back in at an agonizing pace, pressing against her
clit with his body.
Rey groaned, but continued, "This is dangerous,  you  might be dangerous, but I
want you and I'm not afraid of it."
He pressed his face into the bend of her neck, letting out a wracking sigh at
her words. He pushed back onto his hands and picked up the pace of his thrusts
- each one eliciting a loud cry from Rey, the volume increasing with the force
of his stroke.
The speed increased and he collapsed onto his elbows to maintain it, breathing
hard over her mouth, feeling her screams vibrating against his dick. She didn't
seem to care that people knew this was his room, and would know who was in
there with him. Saying goodbye.
There would be whispers later, but the thought of someone walking in and seeing
the outcast Jedi Organa-Solo rutting her like an animal drove her screams to a
higher pitch.
He saw all of this in her mind and played into it, slowing down to an agonizing
speed that made him feel every inch of her pussy gripping him. He was almost as
loud as her, Rey realized and grinned, running her nails down his back and
feeling him shiver.
"Do you like that, Ben?" When he didn't respond, she dug her nails deeper into
him and he groaned desperately, his hips jerking harshly into her
involuntarily.
He nipped at her lips in warning and ran a hand to her breasts; he locked eyes
with her and Rey's breath left her as she saw his eyes darken to an almost
black, but before she could ask what was happening she felt a zap against her
stomach and gasped.
The wickedness of the smile he gave her told her he had used force lightning
against her; what should have terrified her instead made her pull him closer,
climbing up his hips with her legs.
She tapped him, gesturing for him to switch positions; he obliged and held her
on top of him, watching as she tentatively swirled her hips against him.
"Rey…" he spoke reverently, but the darkness was still on the edge and he ran
his fingers over her breasts, sending little shocks across them as they moved.
His name left her lips and she lost all thought of moving on her own; he
realized it and gripped her body, bouncing it against his cock, ragged breaths
leaving his body.
She could tell he was close and pressed her hands against the wall above him to
stabilize herself, needing more pressure to bring her to climax.
Ben was consumed by the feeling of pleasure and the intoxication of using the
force against her, and his thumb slipped against her clit as she bounced
against him. He sent a current of shocks to it and heard her scream in the back
of his subconscious, he was consumed by it - the way her pussy milked against
his cock, jerking uncontrollably from the currents of lightning coursing
through her lower body.
He came powerfully, pumping her with a stream of his cum, her cries of pleasure
goading him on. He did that; he was making her scream in pleasure, letting
everyone around them know that she was  his.  And she wanted it.
"KYLO!" The use of that name brought him out of the reverie and he saw her eyes
wet with tears, the bruises forming on her hips. He let go of them and she
collapsed against his chest, body shuddering against him.
After the second orgasm, Ben's mind had flown open and she saw the dark place
he had gone to, and one word rolled around it. She didn't understand it, but
when the feeling of electricity running through her body became too much, she
had cried out the name.
Ben wrapped his arms around her back, pressing her against him; he felt her
tears against his chest and murmured an apology.
Rey just shook her head against him, "You were right - this  is  everything I
wanted. Still want."
Despite knowing he had to leave soon he pulled his blanket over them and held
her as she drifted to sleep.
Chapter End Notes
     Ben is on a different path now, what will it bring? =S
***** faithless save to love *****
Chapter Notes
     Just vanilla with a hint of Reylo, happy Easter! This chapter was
     originally supposed to have force bond sex, but seriously the chapter
     just ran away from me with a mind of its own. Hope you enjoy...
                     Oh, think not I am faithful to a vow!
                   Faithless am I save to love's self alone.
                           -Edna St. Vincent Millay
Rey woke mere hours later in the middle of the night, still miraculously
wrapped in Ben's arms; she was usually a restless sleeper, rolling from one
side of her bed to the other, so to find herself in the same position was
unusual. She didn't know what to make of it - yes, she thought she loved Ben,
she clearly desired him, but never actually thought about what else he would be
to her - aside from the reason for those feelings.
Despite what he had said about the Jedi being wrong in their rule forbidding
romantic entanglements, she still couldn't shake the stories that were
scattered throughout the Jedi history. Stories that Ben had told her explicitly
to push her away and make her see reason, though she hadn't understood it at
the time.
She watched his sleeping face, his nose so close to her own, and wondered what
had changed; he had seemed freer, earlier, casting aside all of his warnings
and rejections to accept what she had offered so desperately.
Rey raised one of her hands from where it rested against his back and brushed
his hair back, away from his face. What turmoil lay in his mind, she wondered;
always seemingly an outcast, only now it was by his choosing. He had been born
with both light and dark inside of him, it was true - it's why the Council
seemed so ready to believe the rumors - but Rey knew he yearned for acceptance,
in whatever role came to him.
It made him vulnerable to those with darker intent than the Jedi Order, Rey
knew that much; despite the apparent extinction of the Sith thirty years prior,
there would always be a threat of someone taking up their mantle.
You're staring,his voice said in her head, his words laced with amusement. Rey
still wasn't comfortable with this new method of communication and it startled
her; her fingers froze as they traced his jaw.
Ben opened his eyes, sensing her racing thoughts, but trying not to read them.
He turned to her now-still fingers and kissed the tips of them gently.
"How are you feeling?" His hands ran up and down the edge of her body, a
comforting gesture she had not expected from him.
Pulling her fingers away, she rolled onto her back and away from his arms, just
staring at the ceiling, "Alright. I'm pretty sore, though that is to be
expected."
Despite pulling away from him physically, her lips turned up into a grin
remembering the feeling of his fingers, the magnitude of his power that had
coursed through her body, the loss of control he had felt because of her.
It made her feel heady with power; power she held over him, despite his
aggression and dominance thus far.
Ben watched her, feeling her pleased emotions across their bond, and his mind
eased. He reached down and placed a hand between her legs, feeling her jolt in
surprise, but his intentions were not sexual.
"Lay still, my little padawan."
His murmur calmed her and she watched him close his eyes, bowing his head.
Minutes later, she didn't know how many, Rey felt the soreness leave her, the
lingering mementos of their rough dalliance.
She felt its loss keenly; Rey had welcomed the reminder, despite the pain it
put her in. It would have changed her gait for a few days, raising questions
she wouldn't have been able to answer if they had been asked.
Ben opened his eyes slowly, scanning her face for any hints of pain or
disturbance, "Better?"
Even though he knew the answer, she still replied, turning to look at him,
"Yes, thank you." She moved to kiss him, his lips plump and inviting, but
sensed his reluctance as he made no move towards her.
Putting more distance between them, as much as they could get on a standard
issue bed, she timidly asked, "What's wrong now?"
He smiled at her intuition, knowing that the question arose from her
intelligence rather than the bond they shared. "I know what you said, about
wanting…this.But Rey, I don't know what the future holds for me - or us. It
frightens me."
The last word trailed off and she watched the softness of his face cloud over
with a darkness only she seemed to be able to sense; she recognized it again as
part of the mercurial nature of his birthright and sighed. But simultaneously,
warmth shot through her heart at his confession of fear, never realizing how
desperately she had wanted him to confide in her - truly confide in her.
Abruptly, her lips pressed hard against his, surprising him; but Ben welcomed
them, his palms against her back, pressing her closer. He always wanted her
closer to him, it was something that she now realized had always been a facet
of their relationship. In training, he had always reserved his comments for
when they were near each other, always favoring the close quarters combat
training.
Ben had strived for a thorough education for Rey, but even in that his needs
had shown themselves.
Rey pulled away reluctantly after a few minutes, her leg now tangled between
his. "You don't have to go, you can stay. With me, the Jedi didn't want to cast
you out, they would understand and take you back."
He sat up abruptly, not looking at her, "I can't stay here, Rey. You should
understand that."
And she did, but as she sat up and ran her hand along his back, she couldn't
help but feel selfish. She wanted him to stay for her, so they could be
together. A tear she hadn't realized was there glided down her cheek, "Please
don't leave me."
Ben felt anguish, though whether it was hers or his or both, he wasn't sure. He
turned and captured her face in both hands, kissing her, softer than he ever
had. His lips pulled against hers, begging them to open; when they did, his
tongue wrapped around hers, gently sucking on it.
Her teeth clanked against his and she pulled away, averting her eyes from
embarrassment; Ben understood, but instead of pushing her he pulled his hands
away from where they had been entangled in her hair, moving to brush across her
naked chest.
As his cool fingers brushed against a nipple, she felt her arms pull up, but
Ben caught them again - a softer mirror of their earlier dance.
He pulled her hands to rest against his muscled chest, "I thought I told you
not to cover yourself."
Rey shivered at his voice, there was no edge to it as there had been before,
but the words still carried an implicit threat that made her more nervous.
Ben pressed his hands over hers, pushing them against where his heart lay, "You
deserve much better than I have given you - will give you - Rey, but for now it
seems I am graced by your favor."
There was a strong pulse under her fingertips and she flexed her fingers as he
acknowledged her right to make her own choice, signaling that perhaps he no
longer saw her as an untrained Force sensitive. No longer a little girl, on the
brink of womanhood.
"I want you,Ben. I might deserve better in your eyes, but I can handle myself -
I can handle this." Rey looked at him as she spoke and saw him smile, only the
energy between them - their bond - hinted at his sadness.
Ben pulled her hands to press against his neck and Rey was consumed by the
speed of his pulse as he leaned in to kiss her again, "Apparently you can, my
little padawan."
His nickname for her should have made her angry, indignant even, but instead it
sent pulses of desire through her body and when his lips met hers she moaned
encouragingly, pulling him with her as she fell back onto the bed.
It was different, this time, as she had hoped it would be - he was patient,
showing her how to worship with her lips; she felt fear at this more so than
from her first two sexual encounters. When his body pressed against her and she
felt his hardness against her stomach, her body shuddered with a mixture of
fear and desire.
"Rey," he spoke firmly as his face hovered over hers. "The fear you feel is my
fault, but this dance is as old as the Force itself, your body knows the steps.
Let me be your teacher. Trust me."
And she did, her eyes closed at his words, and she sighed as he peppered kisses
down the front of her neck and throat, moving to her collarbone. Her legs
shifted, pulling one up to rest beside his waist; her fingers twitched as the
moved down his chest, dancing along the edges of his erection.
Ben's breath hitched and she felt it twitch as her hand closed around his dick;
it wasn't an overtly sexual touch, but a curious one - Rey looked into his eyes
as she felt the veins and ridges. He held his body perfectly still, letting her
feel his arousal, and Rey was grateful for his patience. She grinned at him as
she saw him clench his teeth and squeezed his dick in a teasing gesture.
"Rey, careful," the edge was back in his voice, but she wasn't scared of it.
Right now, with her hands around his thick cock, Rey was certain she controlled
him.
A loud growl escaped his throat and he thrust into her hands unexpectedly, her
hands involuntarily clenching around his dick.
"Of course you control me, Rey," he bent down to lick her throat, "You own me,
I can be yours."
As he latched onto and sucked her throat softly, the words replayed through her
head; Rey felt heady, as if she had lost a lot of blood, when in reality it was
the shock of her current situation. She pulled her hands away from his cock and
brushed one into his hair, holding his head as he sucked her neck, his teeth
biting deliciously into her skin.
Despite her years of pining, the juvenile desire that led to her forcing him to
take her virginity, the vicious fuck earlier that was spurred by the fear of
loss, she hadn't expected the Ben Organa-Solo to actually wanther.
Like this, with his lips against her neck and his fingers pressing between her
legs making her moan unexpectedly. I can be yours,he had said, and Rey groaned
at the thought; it made her spread her legs wide for his fingers, and she felt
him smile against her neck.
He pushed up on one elbow, his other arm between them, fingers teasing her
entrance, "So you thought of me, like this?"
A large finger dipped between her pussy lips at the question, wetting itself in
her arousal.
Rey bit her lip, slightly bashful at the confession, "Yes, the first time I
touched myself was because of you."
He groaned her name at that and slid a finger inside of her, making her legs
twitch as his thumb gently brushed against her clit. Apparently, he liked that
thought - that she had masturbated for the first time to thoughts of him.
"It was after our first physical training session," she breathed the words as
she watched his face drink them in. His thumb starting circling her clit lazily
and she panted, "Your chest was bare from the heat. It wasn't the first time I
had seen a man's chest, but yours was - I don't know, but it made me warm."
She couldn't continue, because he had slipped another finger inside, keeping
the same agonizing pace as he listened to her story. Rey swallowed hard and
looked at the ceiling, thinking of that moment.
"Tell me more," he commanded in that low voice. It was laced with curiosity and
a feral desire that should have scared her but instead made her weak.
Licking her lips, she continued, "I ran back to my quarters and laid on my bed
for a while, not sure what I was experiencing - but I kept feeling a pull in my
lower abdomen, a wetness between my legs and-"
A third finger pushed inside of her and she cried out in surprise, but his face
was stoically watching her still, so she continued.
"And I knew the basics - even in Nima the women whispered - and I pulled off my
clothes. I remembering spreading my knees, placing my hand between my legs, my
hips jumping as I touched my clit for the first time."
Ben let out a heavy breath and his thumb began circling her clit again, in a
fast rhythm that took her by surprise, "Did you touch it like this?"
Rey just shook her head, her gaze now locked onto his, but before she could
answer he kissed her again; she could feel the effect her words - actions - had
on him, as he thrust his hips against her side in time with his fingers.
He spoke with his lips touching hers, "Did you dream of my fingers between your
legs, little padawan? Did you want my thick cock pressing into you?"
She nodded furiously as they kissed again; the minutes his fingers had spent
slowly moving inside of her had built a slow tug in her abdomen, but the pace
had increased with the story and she now felt the tug burning inside of her.
"Ben, please," she begged against his lips after long minutes of ceaseless
twisting and circling, her legs long having captured his hand between them, her
body riding against it.
His thumb flicked rapidly against her clit and she was on the verge of tears
that he seemed to devour in his pleasure, but when he ripped his mouth away
from her and bit one of her nipples, his thumb pressed in on her clit at the
same time and she clenched around his fingers.
His tongue flicked the nipple he held between his teeth at the same pace as his
thumb pushed against her clit as she rode out the orgasm, her entire body was
controlled by him as it convulsed.
Her legs had relaxed against the bed and her body was still, but his hand still
rode the waves of her orgasm in leisurely strokes. Ben let her nipple go and
licked it when she gasped from the pain.
Fingers finally pulled out of her, coated in musky-smelling liquid; he held
them out in front of her, watching his fingers glistening in the low light of
his room. His eyes locked with hers as he pulled the fingers into his mouth,
sucking her juices off of them.
Rey wasn't sure what made her do it, but she pulled at his hand and rose to
take a finger into her mouth, tasting herself on him. Her eyes closed at the
experience; never before had she even remotely thought about doing this, but
watching him suck her off his fingers had pulled at her.
Eyes watched her intently, his mouth slightly parted as she sucked his fingers
clean, "You are perfect." He murmured this and she felt surprise along the
bond, as if he hadn't meant to say anything.
Pulling his fingers out of her mouth, he kissed her again, diving deep
immediately, sucking her tongue and swallowing her noises.
Rey felt his body move to hover over her and she thought once again how she
should be frightened of how he seemed to completely dwarf her body. Legs
parting for him on instinct, she felt his erection resting between her legs as
he pressed against her.
He pulled up to rest on his knees, looking down at her prostrate body and she
saw his abs twitch with the sight. Rey smiled at him, "You asked if I thought
about your cock pressing into me that first time."
"And did you, my little padawan?" He gave her that cocky smile that she so
loved and she sighed dreamily.
Rey pushed her hips up a little, "I did, I thought about your cock every time I
touched myself. For almost three years, I dreamt of you fucking me. I wanted
you so badly."
His hands gripped her thighs that pressed against his hips, "So badly that you
forced yourself on me, mmm little padawan?"
She shook her head vigorously, "No, Ben! No, I just wanted to help you - save
you."
Ben gripped his hard cock and stroked it as he spoke, watching her, "You didn't
care how much I hurt you - how much pain you would be in - you wanted this cock
so badly you were willing to risk your life."
He dragged the tip of his penis across her slit, wetting it, and she saw his
abs clench, "Didn't you? You knew it was dangerous, but you had dreamt of this
for so long - isn't that what you said? You begged me to teach you."
Rey felt tears build in the corner of her eyes, the need for him becoming
almost painful, "Please, Ben…I need you." Her fingers clenched the sheets as
she tried in vain to slide onto his cock from her position.
Ben stilled between her legs, the tip of his penis at her entrance, and he
pushed slowly inside of her finally, "Yes, you do."
She sobbed in relief as he pushed into her, wrapping his arms around her knees,
pulling them upward as he pressed the last few inches of his cock into her,
filling her completely.
"Tell me what you want now, little padawan," he whispered into her ear, making
her shudder.
She felt her body moving, slipping against him to acclimate to the intruder,
and angled her hips up towards the ceiling, feeling his pelvis grind against
her clit.
"Come on Rey, tell your master what you want," he cooed. "I'll give you the
galaxy, you just have to ask."
The truth of his words rang through her body and the power thrilled her, tugged
at her, "Make love to me, Ben."
Her words were out before she could fully process them, but she knew it was
what she wanted more than anything - their encounters had been rough,
animalistic, and she had loved them. But Rey wanted - in this moment - to be
loved slowly, thoroughly.
They stunned Ben, who hadn't expected such a request, though he should have -
with everything, he should have seen this before it happened. It struck him
again how much she wanted him, however confusing that want was.
But he accepted it now, and he let her legs fall to her side, placing his now-
free arms on either side of her chest. Bracing himself above her, he began to
move slowly inside, the pace allowed Rey to feel every ridge of his cock.
Lips hit one of her breasts and began to suckle it, his tongue circling her
nipple to the rhythm of his hips. Rey nearly wept at the gentleness, his
thrusts soothing her as she gripped his hair in desperation.
He whispered words against her breasts, words she couldn't quite understand,
but she understood the meaning. She ran her hands soothingly along his back and
he groaned, rolling over and pulling her with him.
Hands gripped her hips as Ben settled her on top of him, "My little padawan, I
want you to ride me."
Rey grinned at both the prospect and nickname, and she spread her knees further
apart, grinding herself against him. "Yes Master Ben," she whispered.
He groaned at the title and started to lift her body up and down along his cock
until she got the rhythm. Ben braced her hands on his chest and she began
riding him, her hips jerking up and down erratically.
"That's it, Rey, use your hips, ride my cock like it was meant for you," his
words were said with a fervor that made her shiver and she knew, felt, their
truth. His cock was meant for her, and that thought made her slam down on him
even harder, swiveling her hips to massage her clit.
She increased her rhythm and he pushed into her at the same pace, the force of
their movements added more noises to their loud moans. Again, she felt she
should probably be more concerned with how loud they were being, but right then
she felt Ben's fingers slip between them to circle her clit and she screamed.
She felt her pussy contracting against him unexpectedly, another orgasm hitting
her, but as her body stilled to ride it out, he held her hips firm and thrust
rapidly into her. Her loud sighs and moans were punctured with each thrust, and
she begged him not to stop. Ben groaned at that, the desperation in her voice,
and slammed her hard against him one last time.
Rey felt the swell of his cock inside of her before he ejaculated inside of
her, feeling the force of his cum fill her with each of his erratic spurts. Her
body slid against his as he pulled her against him, both of them covered in
sweat and the stink of their sex, "Ben." She murmured his name reverently,
fingers running into his hair and kissed him longingly.
Despite their heavy breathing, they kissed for a few long minutes, both of them
coming down from their high. Finally, Ben broke away and just wrapped his arms
around her as she rested against him, her face on his chest.
"I hope that was exciting enough for you," he said humorously, "That's what
it's normally like when one of the people isn't under some sort of spell."
She smiled, her body curled against him, "Something tells me this isn't what
everyone experiences, Ben."
He was silent for a long time, his hand tracing lazy lines on her back; "No,"
he agreed, "This is different."
And he would know, Ben thought bitterly, he had spent years trying to get her
out of his head - years fucking Syndra, another woman, in order to avoid his
feelings. The act was the same, but every pull on his heart as he listened to
her cries of pleasure - that was different. His fingers twirled a tendril of
her hair and although he should have felt shame for his actions, instead he
felt whole.
Ben waited as long as he could, but eventually he shifted her off of him and
onto the bed and walked into the fresher. Rey made a few soft sounds of
distaste for the change, but she could barely keep her eyes open. After a few
minutes, he came back out with a wet cloth and wiped the traces of his semen
off of her, smiling as she murmured unintelligible things as she lay half
asleep.
Her sleepiness didn't last long, however, and she sat up to watch as he
prepared to leave, dressing in unusual clothes.
"I've never seen those before," she asked quietly.
"They're in the high class style, it was a present from my mother," he spoke
clearly and firmly, with little trace of the warmth she knew he could exude.
"I'm leaving my robes here, of course."
Rey nodded and pulled her knees up to her chest, wondering how much she should
ask of him - would they meet again, or was this all there was? Where was he
going, what was his plan? How would she contact him even?
He heard all of these contemplations and when he finished buckling his dark
robe he turned around, "I can feel your thoughts, Rey. Listen to me - it is
very important that you do not use our bond except in emergencies."
"Why not?" She already felt empty at the thought of being so divided from him.
The clinking of metal on metal signaled he had strapped his lightsaber to his
side once again, delaying the explanation. "The more we use it, the stronger it
becomes - there is a downside to this bond, our personalities will bleed and
the dominant Force user ends up taking over. It can be very dangerous,
especially in times of injury - and death."
He sat down on the bed and rested a hand on top of hers, "It's my fault you're
burdened with it, but I'll not make it worse - if you need me, I'll be here,
but we can't afford to use it often."
Rey's eyes were filled with tears and she grit her teeth, shaking her head,
"It's not fair. Why can't you stay? I need you here."
A feeling of shame punched him in the gut again, "It's not my path anymore, I
have a different one now - yours is still here, with the Jedi. Even if I
stayed, that wouldn't improve our chances of being together - even then, we
would only have stolen moments. At least now, we can have them away from prying
eyes."
His fingers ran through her hair, soothing her gently with his words, "So I'll
be able to see you again?" Rey hated the desperation in her voice, the sniffles
that she couldn't stop, but instead of laughing at her young foolishness, Ben
just kissed tenderly, lingering on her lips.
"I won't be able to stay away from you. You and I have separate destinies, Rey,
but they are intertwined. The Force has made its plans known - but we'll have
to be patient, I don't know when I'll be able to see you again. But I will."
She gripped his hand tightly, her eyes almost frantic, "You promise?"
"I promise."
===============================================================================
Ben slipped away, still hours left until dawn; he had left Rey sleeping
peacefully, curled under one of his blankets. It was hard to leave, but knew
they would meet again and soon - both of them would have enough to keep them
busy and distracted until then.
In a way, he had Rey to thank for everything - he had grown tired of never
being good enough for the Jedi, never being a trueKnight in their eyes. The
whispers that had surrounded him since he was very young had never ceased, even
though he was more than a generation removed from the evil that tainted his
line. His mother and uncle had the advantage of being proven war heroes,
something not available to him now that the Galaxy was at peace.
There was nothing to insulate him from the whispers, nothing that he could do
to prove his worth. In the end, his dual nature became his natural balance;
with Rey, he didn't seem to have to hide it - she certainly hadn't been afraid
last night or the time before.
Ben smiled at the memory of her sliding against him, but he wiped his face
clean of emotion as he stepped onto the walkway that led to the diplomatic
quarters of Coruscant, prepared for anyone who would dare challenge why he was
still present in the Academy.
He had dressed in robes his mother had given him one year; they were not the
Jedi style he had spent decades in, but they were similar enough to bring
comfort. They were mixed charcoal gray and black and floated around him, hiding
the lightsaber that still rested against his hip.
They had not dared ask him to give it back. The council feared him, just as his
peers always had, and Ben had reached his breaking point when they challenged
his loyalty. He used the Force as it came to him, not as dark or light, and his
uniqueness threatened their teachings. Teachings he would have willingly upheld
- he had sacrificed much of his happiness to make sure that Rey was taught
according to their preferences, to be a true Jedi.
He ran his hand through his hair as he climbed into the speeder that would take
him to the diplomatic quarters, where his mother lived. He would have one night
of peaceful slumber before the news reached her and he would have to deal with
the political fallout of being the only Jedi to renounce the order since his
grandfather.
It was going to bring trouble, but as his boots hit the marble floor taking him
to his room he found he didn't care. There was a sense of freedom around him,
but before he fell asleep he reached out to Rey across their bond, making sure
she still slept peacefully.
It was her quiet warmth along their connection that lulled him to sleep.
===============================================================================
 
***** predestined and great *****
Chapter Summary
     Ben confronts his mother, Rey is a minx.
Chapter Notes
     Thank you all for your thoughts and support as I blunder my way
     through this weird story!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
                 There is some hour – like a cast off load –
                     When our proud had been fully tamed.
                 The learning hour – on each life-long road –
                          Is predestined and great.
                               -Marina Tsvetaeva
Ben woke to the sound of a door opening and opened his eyes, surprised to find
one of his mother's assistants dropping off some food, "From the Senator, she
said you would be hungry."
He waved her away without responding and sighed, throwing his arm across his
face.
You knew you would have to face her.A chuckle escaped him as her no-nonsense
thoughts entered his mind; she was using their bond to communicate, and she
didn't sound angry. He had told her not to use it, that it was too dangerous,
but he missed her already and didn't have the heart to chastise her.
I know, I just…wish you were here with me while I did it.He felt her surprise
as he rolled out of bed, the air hitting his naked skin.
I thought you didn't like people.
I likeyou. He sighed, knowing he was giving a lot away, but at this point what
did it matter? He had taken his padawan's virginity brutally, rejected her
declaration of love, fucked her again,and left the Order. Did it really matter
that she might know the depth of his feelings for her?
There was no response and he felt nothing but her presence, so he moved to eat
and get ready - if his mother already knew he was in his quarters, word had
definitely reached her.
Ben wondered if his uncle had told her, or if she had been formally notified as
a member of the Senate leadership. It didn't matter so much, but it would
indicate how tenuous of a position he was in with her; their relationship had
always been tense, especially since he had abandoned everything his parents
wanted for him in pursuit of becoming a Jedi.
For the longest time, it had been all he wanted, but it was no longer a path
that welcomed him. He tried not to be bitter, but it seemed to wrap around him
like a blanket.
He shook off the ill thoughts and attempted to center himself before stepping
into the living quarters where his mother was surely waiting. Deep breaths
washed everything away and he found again that he was grateful for the Jedi
training, despite how it ended for him; it calmed his mind.
"Ben, I've given you long enough, come out please."
His mother's voice rang out on the other side of the door and he smirked; she
was never very good at waiting on people. Princess Leia Organa waited for no
one, and Senator Organa was no different despite the title change; if anything,
it made it worse.
Ben stood up and waved his hand to open the door, remembering darkly how he
used to be chastised for it - inappropriate use of the Force, Luke used to say.
Personally, he thought it was a pretty tame use of it, compared to running
shocks through Rey's body to bring her to orgasm. But then, Jedi weren't
supposed to do thateither.
Swallowing the desire the memories brought to life, he finally searched for his
mother and found her sitting gracefully on the couch.
"Mother," he spoke clearly, but with little emotion. Ben Organa-Solo was not
known for his warmth, even towards his family.
Leia sighed, "Ben, what is going on? Luke told me what you did - you always
wanted to be a Jedi, what's wrong?"
He walked towards her, taking a seat in the chair next to her and ran his
fingers through his hair, "I wanted to be trained, to not ignore what was
inside of me the way you did; but it turns out the Jedi are just as untrusting
as anyone I've met. And just as unwelcoming."
He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes, "I gave them twenty years of
my life, and with one accusation - with no proof - they wanted to take it all
away from me. They didn't trust me, so they don't deserve me. I won't be their
slave."
Leia sat back, absorbing the words of her son; he had never really fit in with
people and despite her reservations about the path, she had hoped he would find
peace in the Order. Instead he found more instability; in her silence he
continued to speak.
"I wanted to honor our family's legacy - our blood, our gift, but it seems I
can't even do that properly in their eyes."
"Oh Ben, being a Jedi isn't our only legacy," she spoke softly, remembering
everything she had read about her mother. Luke had told her a little, what he
learned from Obi-Wan - including her name. When the Empire had been abolished,
she had spent time reading about the other side of her family.
Ben looked confused and she smiled, taking his hand, "Your grandfather was
Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi and later Sith, yes. But your grandmother was Padme
Amidala, a great diplomat from Naboo. She was one of their youngest elected
Queens and later a Senator; she was a great freedom fighter. She just chose to
do it with words rather than the Force."
Processing the information, he buried his head in his hands, "I never knew
anything about her - never even thought to ask - no one even remembers her."
Leia was silent in her agreement - much of the former Republic's history had
been lost in the turmoil of the Empire and again she felt the loss of a mother
she had never known. She watched her son, his body wracked with the collapse of
his persona; she suspected that not much had changed in the years since he had
ceased to live with her and Han - still the little boy that hid his feelings
fervently.
Ben felt her eyes on him and his resentment threatened to shatter his calm, but
instead he focused on what she had told him. He immediately felt a kinship to
his grandmother and her story - not that people would ever love him the way
they loved her, but she was a warrior in other ways - and utterly forgotten by
history.
"What are your plans, Ben?" His mother's voice sounded concerned and he fought
to contain the bitter laughter. He couldn't hate her, he respected her too much
- but when he remembered lonely nights spent in an empty apartment, the chagrin
threatened to overwhelm him.
"I don't have any, leaving the Order wasn't exactly planned. I don't know if
I'm even valuable anywhere else," his honesty surprised her and she relaxed
against the couch, contemplating her next suggestion.
It was an unusual situation, to be sure, and there would be a lot of push back,
but still she spoke, "I may have need of you here."
Ben's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Here? In the Senate - politics?"
The idea was absolutely laughable; the man who was a perpetual outcast, feared
by even the Jedi, involved in an arena that fed on cordial smiles and
popularity.
"Yes, the Senate is concerned about the Jedi Order still - considering that
Force users were at the root of most of the recent struggles," even if it had
been thirty years since the toppling of the Emperor, the galaxy had spent a
good amount of time afterward split apart. It was only recently that the Senate
had been rebuilt.
"Well I doubt they would appreciate a rebel Force user in their ranks, then,"
he said with derision.
She ignored him and continued explaining, "The Council and your Uncle have been
adamant about maintaining their independence from the Senate's influence,
preferring to focus on their…religion."
The last word was said with confusion, as if she knew they didn't refer to it
as such - but that's what she thought of it. Leia's knowledge of the Force and
the Jedi was limited, despite her lineage; the one thing she knew for certain
was that the Jedi believed in peace over anger.
Ben huffed, "What would we do as Jedi if not to serve the galaxy and the
Republic?" His words were laced with derision and venom and it took Leia by
surprise; still, she spoke confidently.
"That's the problem, there is no one that completely comprehends what the Jedi
Order is- who is also willing to help be a liaison for the Senate. We need a
representative, and the Council has forbidden one of their own to get involved
in the politics of the galaxy."
She stood up then and walked towards her desk, pulling a holodisk off of it; it
contained info about a new threat that was hovering in the Unknown Regions,
outside of her control. Leia handed it to her son and he just waited for her to
explain, showing patience she didn't know he had.
"That is information on a organization currently known as the First Order. We
don't know much about them, other than that they operate quietly on the
outskirts of our territory - and they are bitter about the Empire's downfall."
She paused and held Ben's eyes, gauging if he was ready for such a political
mission, "Read it, and tell me what you think."
Ben flipped it over in his hand, staring at the information disk, "What do you
want me to do?"
"Be the Senate's Force user advisor - if the Jedi won't allow a representative
from them, you will do. You are uniquely qualified - you will act as liaison
between the Jedi Council and the Senate as well as act independently on
information gathering and conflict advising."
She let her words hang there, not sure if this is what he would want - but even
knowing there would be push back from her colleagues, Ben really was a perfect
fit.
It would keep him close to the Jedi, which he loathed, but remembering Rey's
tears as he left her, Ben closed his fist around the device and looked at his
mother, "Alright, I'm in."
===============================================================================
The next morning, Rey had woken up cold and alone in her Master's old bed, his
clothes still laying on the floor. He had never allowed droids in his room
without express permission, and she was incredibly grateful to not have to
explain her presence.
For all she knew, they would lock her down as an intruder and she would wind up
having to explain her state of disarray and his clothes. Ben would never allow
them to persecute her because he had been her padawan, but she was fairly
certain that clear evidence of an improper relationship would force their hand.
She stretched her legs across the bed, suddenly seeming so much larger without
his presence, and felt the ache between her thighs that had settled in after he
had healed her. It had been a neat trick, one he had never taught her - what
else had he been hiding from her?
She stood under the falling water of the fresher, missing already the scent he
had left behind on her skin; never before had she been with anyone in that way,
so she didn't have anything to compare it to, but surely what they had was
unusual. The way he looked at her as she hovered over him, her hips moving
tentatively at first, the way his lips captured hers - so deliberate, but
ravenous.
Rey wasn't sure what to make of the Ben Solo she had come to know, but as she
walked out of his room the following morning, eyes everywhere watching her
questioningly, she was absolutely certain no one would ever want to understand.
===============================================================================
"Rey, it is my duty to inform you that your previous teacher has left the Jedi
Order," Master Skywalker was speaking with her as they walked the corridor to a
meditation garden. "I know you were fond of him, but you are now a Jedi Knight
and as such will begin independent missions."
Rey nodded solemnly as she had been taught, but inside her stomach was turning
with excitement - not only did they not suspect what she and Ben had done, they
wanted to send her on missions!
He continued, "You will also now train with other Jedi Knights and the Council
members, to grow in strength both together and independently."
It was hard not to stumble, not expecting that she would be required to do such
things - it left her vulnerable, especially with her bond to Ben. She would not
be able to hide being so intricately connected to him if the other Jedi spent
too much time with her; his presence wrapped around her like a shroud, even
now.
To Rey, it was incredibly comforting, but to the other Jedi they would only see
it as a taint from the outcast and possible dark side user.
"Of course, Master Skywalker. I would be honored," she replied quietly and
demurely.
He nodded and gestured for her to follow him into the meditation garden, where
the other Jedi were already deep in trance.
Rey crossed her legs and dove deep into herself; meditation had not been
something Ben was ever particularly interested in, but it had been an
invaluable tool to calm and center herself. Knowing that, he had emphasized it
greatly in their daily sessions - for all the Jedi talked about him not being
trustworthy, he had always been an incredible teacher.
Up until the point I fucked you, he said sardonically, reminder her that if
they chose they could feel each other's thoughts with ease.
Shh, I'm trying to concentrate.Rey admonished him and felt him retreat, leaving
her to unravel the complexities of her current situation and mind.
===============================================================================
Later that day, exhausted from her exercises, she found her feet taking her in
the opposite direction of her usual quarters.
"Rey! Where are you going?" Her friend Finn called out to her and she turned
around, frowning.
"Sorry?"
He gestured towards the other corridor of rooms, "That's not where your room
is, are you okay?"
Rey's eyes followed his hand gesture and realized he had been pointing towards
the hallway where Ben's room was, a current of energy ran through her and
straightened her shoulders.
"Yeah, yeah - just really tired, you know, for an old man Master Skywalker is
incredibly energetic."
She laughed, hoping to distract him from piecing together why she would have
been walking towards Ben's room. But Finn knew better, there had been rumors
circulating today - ones that he had tried to simultaneously ignore and
understand.
"Rey, I thought you should know - people have been talking and-"
She looked at him blankly, eyes slowly blinking, "Talking about what?"
Finn continued earnestly, hoping to help his friend, "Look, we all know what
Ben is like - there are rumors that you stayed with him last night. I know he's
dangerous, Rey, the Council doesn't make accusations like that lightly - I'll
protect you."
Rey nearly laughed - but at the idea that she might need protection or that
Finn even couldprotect her from someone like Ben, she wasn't sure. Irritation
flickered over her, but she pushed it away knowing it came from Ben.
"Finn, nothing happened. I'm fine. I was just asked to gather his things to
send to his mother." She pushed by him, hoping that would be a sufficient
answer, but Finn still stood there.
"Rey - people heardthings. It's okay to tell someone."
Spinning around, she looked at him with her eyebrows raised, crossing her arms
across her chest defensively, "Tell someone what exactly?"
Finn looked away, finding it hard to answer her question. After a long silence,
she spun on her heel and left him there. As much as she appreciated his
concern, the last thing she wanted was someone else who had to keep their
secret.
He will inform on you to the Council, Rey. He is a traitor.
Rolling her eyes, she pulled off her clothes and climbed back into his bed. You
think the worst of people.
Ben's emotions were turbulent, but at the accusation or what was happening
around him she couldn't tell yet. It is a gift.
She curled her naked body under his blanket, pulling her knees almost up to her
chest, This bed has too much room without you here.
There was no response, but she didn't expect one. It was too close to a real
discussion, and though Rey had been quite open about her feelings, she knew
that Ben would avoid the topic at all costs.
Nonetheless, she missed him and desired his attention, so she found her hand
wandering down the side of her stomach and hips. Remembering.
A warning flashed in her mind, his presence guarded, Rey…
Grinning wickedly, she rolled onto her back and began groping her breast, Yes,
Ben?
He didn't respond, because at the same time she pinched her nipple and felt a
gasp from him; Rey wondered if he had felt it.
I feel it. I feel your…response. Your pleasure.He seemed to speak rather
reluctantly and she pouted, thinking it meant the words about seeing each other
again had been platitudes.
But she pushed those thoughts away and focused, bringing both hands to her
breasts now, palming them until her nipples stood erect and her skin pebbled in
desire. Even though most of her experience was with herself, Rey knew that
anticipation of desire was sometimes more potent than the fulfillment.
Images came to her - long forbidden desires rushing towards her as she thought
about Ben's large hands pressing against her chest, the pressure making her
gasp. Her legs pressed together as her fingers pulled at her nipples,
remembering the way his mouth had sucked at them, making obscene suckling
noises.
A groan echoed in her mind and she remembered that this was just as much about
torturing and reminding Ben as it was her pleasure. He saw him gripping his
chair harshly, his mind split between focusing on the men arguing in front of
him and the feelings he was enduring from her.
Rey,he cautioned. I'm with…people.
She just chuckled and pulled a nipple roughly; this was a new experience, and
surely not one that the Force had ever intended for them to have, but if they
were to be bonded then she was going to have a little fun along the way.
For someone so limited in experience, you seem to quite enjoy the game.He
growled out and she felt him bite his lip as her hand slipped between her legs,
feeling the hot liquid that slicked them.
Annoyed, she snipped at him, I had two years to think of nothing but ways to
have sex with you, seduce you. Believe me, this is just the tip of what I want
from you.
She sobbed as her fingers grazed over her aroused clit, feeling desperate -
needing his mouth and teeth on it instead. It was all she could do to stop the
flow of tears as she circled it; the pain from not being enough - not being
him- hit her so violently that she nearly stopped.
But he growled and she felt the chair handle crack a bit in his anger, You
arenotto stop. If I cannot be there to suck on you, then you must do it for me.
Rey cried out still, needing more pressure, so she rolled over, her arm now
trapped between the bed and her stomach. The added pressure to her circling
fingers made her spread her legs wider, the cool air hitting her pussy and clit
once more, making her groan into the pillow that was filled with his scent
still.
Images projected into her mind, of him laying on top of her, pressing her into
the bed to the point where she could barely breathe. You would enjoy this
position, Rey. What your fingers could do pales in comparison to my cock. I
could slip in so deep like that - you wouldn't even have the strength to hold
yourself up and I would hold your arms as I fucked you.
The thoughts nearly manifested into reality, she could feel a pressure against
her back and forgetting her clit she inserted three fingers without warning,
loudly shouting at her carelessness and pain. The pace wasn't fast, but instead
agonizingly slow, almost lazy. He whispered filthy things to her that made her
other hand nearly rip the sheets in desperation.
I need you.She wept as she continued fucking herself slowly, her hips rolling
ever so slightly into her hand, imagining his torturous vision.
I said I would see you again, my little padawan, but you couldn't stay away
could you?He chastised her and instead of being annoyed, it simply goaded her
into increasing her space, spreading her knees further against the bed.
Rey knew he wasn't unaffected, could feel him palming his erection from where
ever he was. Did you know I am with Senators, Rey? I desire you so much that
I'm imagining fucking you right here in front of them.
A muffled sob echoed as she cried into the pillow, bringing the edge of her
palm to massage her clit in response. Oh, you like that don't you? Do you like
that I want to take my cock out right now and stroke it for you, or do you
simplycravethe idea of me taking you as they watched? Are you a little
exhibitionist, my little padawan?
She was breathing heavily, nearly delirious with pleasure as her insides burned
and her mind stretched open, bombarding them both with her feelings.
I want you all to myself, Rey. No one else can have you, but I might let them
watch. What do you think about that, my filthy girl?
"Ben!" She screamed as she felt the beginning of her orgasm, and her hand
clawed the wall as she pulled herself up, kneeling on the bed and fucking her
hand, rolling her hips as he had shown her just a night ago. It was a poor
excuse for the size of his cock and the weight of him, and the intense dark
eyes that never let her go, but still she felt her release crest over her.
Loud moans ripped from her and she felt her pussy contract around her fingers,
fresh liquid coating them. Ben's presence in her mind seemed quiet, as if he
was merely waiting for her to be done instead of being controlled by his
desire.
Panting, she pulled her fingers out and rested them against the wall, her
forehead resting against them.
Lick yourself clean, Rey.
The command hit her and she frowned, not understanding how that was possible,
but he showed her images of him sucking her fingers clean and she understood.
She brought her shaking hand to her mouth and lifted a finger, tasting her cum
tentatively. It had been warm, but was now rapidly cooling; the taste of it was
irrelevant to the deliciously deviant nature of it.
She felt him laugh darkly, Oh Rey, my love. You and I have so much more to
discover. Your desires will be more deviant, I can assure you.
Rey wondered how he felt so sure that she would be just as filthy as he was,
but when she remembered his invitation to fuck her in front of the Senators her
body grew warm again. Her dreams and fantasies of him she thought had always
been pretty kinky, but Rey was rapidly discovering that the depth of her
desires might be just as dark as Ben's.
Remember my promise, Rey.
===============================================================================
Ben felt her withdraw into sleep and sighed, his erection still twitching under
his robes. That had certainly been a new experience - she was testing the
limits of their bond, opening it more, projecting thoughts and desires onto
him. Teasing him. It was only be sheer force of will that he had turned it on
her, maintained his calm in front of the arguing Senators before him.
"We simply cannot have it," a nameless angry Senator growled the same sentiment
for a fourth time. "This sets a dangerous precedent - what makes you think the
Jedi would have anything to do with an outcast,anyway?"
Ben sat calmly at the oval table, listening to the gathering of diplomats and
his mother bicker about him and his new role. It had barely been a day since
leaving the Jedi, and he was already inadvertently making more people angry.
His hands were clasped lightly across his stomach, inordinately calm for
someone who had just felt his lover's orgasm across the planet. As he watched
fingers and hands gesturing wildly, he noted his mother's surprisingly calm
center. Ben wondered how his grandmother would have reacted to this - in her
time, the Jedi had been adamantly neutral and apolitical.
Or at least, they had tried to be. Ultimately their inaction had played a part
in the downfall of the Republic, and he couldn't understand why they were
trying to follow the same path even now.
"You should show me a little more respect, Senator." His voice cut through the
ire coldly, and the room went silent; Ben didn't even know their names, but was
tired of their drivel. His mother watched him carefully.
"Excuse me?"
He sighed, waving his hand nonchalantly, "The Jedi are small, but our power is
not to be disrespected. Though I am no longer part of their Order, I am by far
the strongest of my kind. You should show a little more respect."
Eyes avoided him suddenly, the room filling with a threatening pressure, "Are
you threatening us, young Organa-Solo?"
A brave woman spoke and he met her gaze for a long time, "I am simply stating
facts. By denying your legislature the opportunity to work with the Jedi, you
are weakening the galaxy. It is the Jedi way, to be peacekeepers and neutral."
"You don't even follow the Jedi anymore, they won't listen to you."
He stood up slowly, almost menacingly, "The only reason I am no longer with
them is because they failed to respect me and my loyalty. Do not make the same
mistake."
With that, he had said enough and walked out, the silence from the room was
stunning and Ben reveled in the power he had over them. They feared him, but
instead of taking it personally as he had for so long with the Jedi, instead he
let it fuel him.
===============================================================================
["warmup sketch amidala bens" by Arriku on Tumblr]
 
Chapter End Notes
     Well, this didn't go exactly as planned, but I feel like it worked
     out alright! For those of you wondering, the Ben Organa-Solo aspect
     of this story was partly inspired by Arriku's amazing fanart of him,
     complete with purple lightsaber =D Be sure to check it out!
     http://arriku.tumblr.com/post/139683805187/warmup-sketch-amidala-bens
     So basically, when you imagine Ben now - imagine that. Lickable.
***** in the garden of sin *****
Chapter Summary
     some exhibitionism in this one
Chapter Notes
     sorry for the extra delay, work has been insane lately (and with all
     the crazy stuff happening in the fandom, I couldn't seem to settle
     down enough to write!)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"It isn't normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological
                                 achievement."
                               ― Abraham Maslow
The clatter of training sabers echoed through the open gallery and Rey ground
her teeth as she missed Finn again.It had been like this all day, they were
working through the various forms and training routines for them, but nothing
seemed to be working the way she hoped. Finn rarely got the better of her, but
the bruises on her skin would remind her of what a distracted mind could bring
you.
The Jedi taught peace, serenity, a calm mind to withstand the darkness of the
Force so that it did not consume you. They had numerous rules that seemed
strict upon first glance, but as she took another hit from Finn to her
midsection, Rey grudgingly had to admit that perhaps they had a point.
Being so involvedwith someone emotionally could leave you distracted and
vulnerable.
Ben hadn't spoken to her willingly in the few days after their unusual tryst,
but for once she knew it wasn't anything to do with them; despite his silence,
she could still feel his emotions. Anger seeped through him and shrouded her
own mind, making her more quick to snap; despite her concern for him, she kept
the silence.
He had initially been very adamant about using the bond sparingly, and despite
her arguments and his slip ups with it, Rey was trying to respect his wishes
and fears. And so she kept quiet, staying out of his mind - giving him the
privacy he apparently desperately needed.
Still, despite all their control, they could not control it while they slept.
She had reprogrammed the droids who assigned rooms to give her Ben's, since
becoming a Jedi meant you got to sleep in a different hallway. His was the only
room she wanted, but knew that asking would look suspicious.
So she did a bit of work on the assignment order and now she was allowed to
sink into his bed on a nightly basis without anyone questioning why she was
sleeping in a different room than assigned. Her run in with Finn had been
worrisome, and as much as she tried not to care about what her peers thought…it
was still breaking the code that they cherished so much.
Wincing, she was reminded why the code existed in the first place. But it was
hard to care when every night their minds brought them to each other in their
dreams. They weren't charged, just soothing; as if subconsciously their bodies
knew that all they needed was to lay near each other in an embrace.
Rey was surprised that Kylo would be okay with this, even subconsciously; all
of their interactions thus far could have been categorized into either sex or
teaching. They rarely talked.
===============================================================================
 Ben paced in his private quarters, his outer robes had been ripped away and
thrown to the floor in frustration. They feared him, he fed on it, but they
still locked him out - the Senators greedily clutched at their power instead of
welcoming Ben into the fold.
He could do so much for them, if only they would see.A warmth pushed against
his mind and he recognized Rey's presence, silent but concerned. Her silence
the past week had made him feel empty in a way that nothing else did - not even
when his parents would leave him as a boy.
Ben. Go to sleep.He stopped short at her command, knowing that it was code for
let me make you feel better,because while they didn't use the bond during the
day actively, his nights were filled with vivid dreams, waking up with painful
erections to take care of.
Not that he minded, but having masturbated to thoughts of Rey for years when
she was too young to touch - too forbidden - it was difficult to find absolute
pleasure in it anymore. It just pushed it back for an hour or two.
The silence had stretched awkwardly as his mind weighed her suggestion; it was
still early in the evening, and the idea of only his hands touching him for one
more night was not ideal.
Rey should stay away from him, he knew this, knew that nothing good would come
from it despite how she purported to love him. Fanciful dreams of being Jedi
together, he bitterly shook his head.
Meet me in the Senate gardens. Now.He was impatient, but the way her emotions
jumped as he commanded showed him she was no different. Ben could feel her
glare at his impatience and command, but she still replied with an eager
acceptance.
Ben turned, spreading his dark outer robe along his shoulders; as eager as he
was to see her, he knew leaving the quarters in anything less than immaculate
dress would cause a stir. Politics could be so vicious and Ben had no intention
of losing the game.
The Senate Gardens were private only to the select group of Senators who
provided tithes for its upkeep, his mother being one of them. While that didn't
mean Ben could enter himself, it certainly meant that it would be one of the
most private meeting spots they could have. No one watched the doors, and
unlocking them was just a simple wave of the hand.
He was there far quicker than it would have taken Rey to duck out and join him,
so he stood in front of the door and leaned against the edge, crossing his arms
in front of him. Ben's outward demeanor scared anyone off, and if they didn't
immediately turn away from seeing him, once they locked eyes with his they
turned and left.
He was just watching some lowly servant skittering away at a near running pace
when he felt her presence nearby; he stood straight and turned towards the
persistent tug.
Rey stood there in her cream-colored Jedi robes, her hair in the three-bun
style she had always worn. Ben forced himself to stand still, though his
instincts were to walk towards her and take her in his arms. Instead he only
offered her a nod of the head towards the doors, a command to follow, but he
knew she would be able to feel his thoughts and emotions and hoped it would
make up for the icy greeting.
When she finally walked in, Ben sealed the doors shut quickly and grabbed her,
leaning down to press a hard kiss against her lips.
"I missed you," he ground out, as if it pained him to tell her this - to show
weakness.Rey pressed her hands on his shoulders and looked up at him, knowing
their dreams would never do this view justice.
"I can tell - this is very dangerous, Ben," Rey pulled away reluctantly and
took in the view from where they stood at the garden entrance. In a place like
Coruscant, plants and greenery were rare and almost always private - the Jedi
themselves kept a garden much like this one, though smaller.
They were flanked on both sides by plants with purple flowers that towered
above even Ben, rustling a little with the soft fabricated breeze. There was a
dome covering above them, providing them an unobstructed look at the night sky
- no speeders, just the stars. It reminded her of Jakku a little, if she
ignored all the green.
The path was pebbled with small rocks that rolled as she shifted her stance a
little, but Ben finally spoke after minutes of watching her take in their
surroundings.
"Come, I'll show you where I spend most of my time here." His hand
instinctively moves towards her, begging her to accept it, but he pulled it
away before Rey could. Ben hadn't anticipated this - how awkward it could be to
be around her again in any casual capacity; what they experienced was intense
and unnatural, and the more he encouraged the emotional attachment the worse it
would get for them.
But he was the one inviting her to this place, just so he could see her again -
feel her skin around him. It was selfish, but then of course it was - he had
spent decades curbing the urge to put himself first; that wasn't a Jedi trait,
his Uncle had said, Jedis think of others before themselves.
He had been successful for the most part, but all of his defenses and
resistances seemed to be eroding away with Rey and Ben didn't know how to
control the descent.
Without an explanation for his behavior, he turned away from her and towards
the path that led further into the garden; Rey understood what he needed and
was silent as she followed him, taking in the various shades of green and all
the colors that surrounded them as she passed.
"How has your training for the Jedi trials been going?" His voice was low and
it jolted her in her stomach, a quick reminder of how beholden she seemed to be
to him. Rey wondered if it was the same for him, but wasn't sure how to ask.
Instead she focused on the question, "I haven't exactly…started yet?"
The question in her answer made him stumble a bit in surprise, but he
recovered; Ben chose to stay silent as he led them to a small grassy area with
a bench overlooking some sort of memorial.
"What is this place?" Rey asked as he slowed to a stop and she looked around,
brushing her hand against the marble monument that was wrapped in green vines.
"A small memorial, for Senators who fell during the Galactic Empire's regime
change."
There was something pointed in his tone and she looked at him, question
implied.
Ben sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "It represents both sides of my
family - in a political way, not bound by the Force. My grandmother was…a
Senator from Naboo when it happened."
Rey walked towards him and took the hand that was clenched at his side; he
rarely spoke of his family, but this felt bigger, "What happened to her?"
"My grandfather killed her," his eyes searched hers for the sign of horror and
revulsion he knew would come. He did not come from a line of good.
Instead, he felt her fingers lace into his and he gripped them desperately, the
only external sign of his fear; she felt his mind racing, thoughts too close to
catch.
Ben stared at the memorial and continued, bolstered by her support, "When
Anakin…turned, he saw betrayal at every turn. Obi-Wan, you know that story…but
no one knows about Padme. She was heavily pregnant with my mother and Uncle at
the time, and he…choked her."
Rey couldn't help but let a gasp escape, covering her mouth with her free hand,
"Surely not?"
The dark haired man looked at her and she felt the tipping of the Dark side,
"He saw her as a traitor, because she was on Obi-Wan's side. When Obi-Wan found
them, Anakin had her in a force choke. She died shortly after giving birth."
A few minutes passed, Rey rubbed small circles on his hand with her thumb, and
Ben just ran his hand across the stone. "No one talks about her anymore, hardly
anyone knows her story beyond that she died as a casualty of war. I don't want
to be forgotten like she was."
"You won't be forgotten, Ben. You have a family who loves you, and you have me.
I won't forget you."
Her words were impassioned, but her cheeks reddened slightly at imposing her
place in his life. Ben just squeezed her hand in thanks, but finally pulled
away and took out his lightsaber.
"Why aren't you training for the trials, Rey? They're important for your
future, you have to prove yourself."
Rey scowled that the conversation had turned to him chastising her, "I'm not
your apprentice anymore, Ben.You don't get to judge me for not doing things the
way you think I should."
"Don't I?" Ben raised an eyebrow at her, the rest of his face completely
placid.
"We're equals now - you can't tell me what to do," Rey knew she sounded like a
petulant child, but couldn't help herself. It had only been a week since he had
left her, and he expected her to just pick up training with someone else that
easily?
Ben felt her emotions and recognized the turmoil there, "We're not equal in the
eyes of the Jedi until you complete your training, but you have always been an
equal to me despite our rank. You need to find a training partner."
He hesitated, loathing the suggestion before he even spoke of it, but knew it
was the best option, "Finn is a good match for you, I'm sure he would willingly
be your training partner for it. It can even be mutually beneficial - he's to
take it soon as well, I bet."
Rey groans at his suggestion, "I've beensparring with Finn. I can't
concentrate, nothing is the same - everything feels wrong."
"Because I'm not there," he said with certainty, feeling it across their bond.
She nods, "Yes, I don't know what's wrong, but it's like my body won't focus
unless I'm working with you."
A purple light flared, lighting up his face in the glow, "Well you still have
to train, so if you can only work with me for now - then let's begin."
Rey was shocked, seeing his body slinking into a defensive form, waiting for
her decision. "But I thought…I mean, that's not why we're here-"
He dropped his saber to his side and walked up to kiss her softly, but briefly,
"I want you. Always. It's something I can't get away from and it makes me
reckless. But I won't allow what I've done to you - to us - to distract you
from your future. So, let's practice."
He took a few steps back and she pulled her own lightsaber out, the twin beams
activating at the same time. The dark yellow light mixed with his purple, two
unique colors that promised trouble. The Force had whispered to her when the
kyber crystal had warmed and changed in her hand, warning her of the path she
would walk.
Rey wasn't sure what or who she was being warned against, but as she advanced
upon him and his blade hissed against hers, she couldn't imagine a scenario
where it would be Ben. Despite all the evidence to the contrary.
She hadn't sparred with her own lightsaber yet, keeping it hidden from the
others for fear of their judgment and knowing glances. Unlike earlier when she
had fumbled around the forms with Finn, Rey slipped into her symbiotic
relationship with the Force and she and Ben danced along the path of green.
Ben shouted out different forms for her to switch to, practicing her agility -
the forms existed to adapt to circumstances in battle and if Rey didn't
understand how they all flowed together in a real fight she would be lost. He
couldn't have that, that wasn't her destiny.
As always, she marveled at the way he commanded the Force around him - he was
one of the most skilled fighters living, but what made him legendary was the
way he used his powers to manipulate the terrain around them.
Battling another Force user was always interesting, because a Jedi's instincts
were honed from being able to anticipate the future - which way an opponent
would move. Sparring with another of that kind meant there was a greater need
for creativity - something that Rey came to naturally, as a result of years on
her own scavenging.
Battling another Force user who was also bondedto you was another matter
entirely; they couldn't block each other out and as a result their minds and
emotions flowed as one, with Rey barely being in control of her own body. She
didn't know which one of them was consumed by awe and love, but it was likely
her - his affection could not be called such a great thing as love.
After nearly half an hour of sparring, she finally caught a break in their back
and forth; they were back in the small grassy area and she spotted the bench
before he did, and moved it into his path as she backed him towards it.
Ben's legs hit it unexpectedly and as his arm pushed back to catch himself, she
took the opportunity of an easier grip to call his saber to her. Before he hit
the ground, he saw her standing with two lightsabers resting on the side of her
body, chest panting and face in awe.
His head hit the ground again, a loud and resigned sigh escaping, "Well that's
not the most embarrassing way to lose a fight, but it's close."
The sound of the lightsabers deactivating echoed into the sudden silence, no
more slight hissing of colored lasers, just the heavy breathing of two Jedi.
A hand pushed in front of him and he took it, hauling himself up with her
strength, "Still think I need to train for my trials?"
An incredulous look crossed his face as he grabbed his saber from her hand and
attached it to his belt, "Of course. If you can't focus enough to practice with
others, how do you think the tests will go? I won't be there for those, Rey."
She swallowed, watching him sit on the bench, head resting against his hands to
catch his breath.
"Does anyone even come here? We must've been at it for nearly an hour." Rey
felt his smirk before she saw it and rolled her eyes. "Not like that."
He held his hand out to her and she immediately took it, drawn to him always.
Ben placed his hands on her hips as she stood between his legs, for once he had
to look up at her to talk.
"Was that what you needed Rey?" His voice was lower and eyes glazed over, chest
still breathing hard at their exertion.
Rey's breath caught at his forward question, but gave him a serious answer
anyway. "It's not the forms or training I missed practicing with you - I missed
you, Ben."
She chewed her lip in concern at being so direct, but to her surprised he just
nodded as if he knew. He lifted her by her hips and she naturally spread her
legs, resting in his lap with her knees on either side.
"I've been…frustrated…with my new role. I know you've felt it, that you stayed
away to let me process," Ben's hands were gripping each other's behind her,
just resting there as he spoke; his eyes looked past her towards something
inconsequential. "And I realize that I've missed you, too. Being here, I mean."
Because they were always there, thanks to the bond, but it was no replacement
for her presence; she understood and smiled, brushing his hair behind his ears
and pecking his lips.
Ben couldn't hold back after that, though, tired of talking about his fears and
emotions, and pressed her down against his hips, deepening the kiss. Rey
wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer towards her, teeth
pulling against his bottom lip.
He growled and bucked into her and she shuddered at the hard press of his
erection; her lips moved away from his and peppered kisses down to his neck
where she began sucking lightly. His large hands crushed her chest against his
and she began grinding against him, biting his neck in time with the rocking.
Ben's body was stock still, helpless and panting at her actions; his lips
tickled the ridge of her ear as he spoke, "Little Rey, what have you discovered
in my absence? What other desires have you been plagued by?"
She shuddered and her movements halted, and Rey pulled back from her place on
his now-bruised and reddened neck to look at his cocky smile. Rey grinned
wickedly at him as she shimmied off of his lap; this had not been his intention
and he was not pleased by the development until she knelt in front of him.
"Rey…" he said haltingly, remembering the last time she had done this - when he
had forced it on her. In response, she projected her thoughts onto him,
memories of endless fantasies starring Ben Organa-Solo and his padawan, Rey.
As her fingers went to loosen his belt, Ben groaned, feeling helpless as she
pulled down his pants to watch his dick spring free. A strange noise erupted
from his throat when he saw her lick her lips as she stared at it.
Rey hadn't spent a lot of time getting to know his dick, since it was mostly
always inside of her when Ben brought it out to play. There was the one time -
her first time - but she hadn't had time to properly savor and appreciate it
then, desperate as they had been.
But they had time now, the desperation having been replaced with a low burning
and omnipresent passion; she took it in one hand, testing how much she could
grip - and finding she could barely grip it properly with one hand. The tip was
already glistening with pre-cum and her other thumb grazed against it and she
was rewarded with a jerk of his hips and a strangled groan.
The hand that gripped it firmly twisted a little, bringing it along the length
of his dick as she twisted; it was softer than she had thought it would be,
with ridges breaking up the smooth length. Tentatively, she leaned in to lick
the tip of it softly, the flat length of her tongue running from the bottom to
the top of it in one long movement.
"Stars, Rey please,"she saw the way Ben gripped at the fabric resting on either
side of him and grinned at the power she had. It wasn't something she sought,
but couldn't deny the pleasure she got from knowing he was squirming for her,
begging her.His padawan apprentice.
She pulled away, keeping one hand twisting and gliding along his dick as she
stared into eyes that begged her to do more.This time, as she leaned in and
licked the underside of his cock she was jolted by a feeling of even more
intense pleasure and after a moment she realized was feeling his own.
Rey was experiencing Ben's pleasure across the bond. "The Force is an
interesting thing."
"Rey, this is notthe time for philosophical discussion. Please."His voice was
strained and she knew he was letting her set the pace, so Rey wrapped her lips
around his cock for the first time and Ben's head fell back in pleasure.
The taste of his pre-cum barely registered as she ran her tongue around his
shaft as her mouth pulled more of it into her. The little sucking noises that
she made as her lips opened and closed around it made Ben sob as he watched her
suck his dick. Rey enjoyed listening to his pain and feeling the way his body
squirmed as her she sucked and gripped the cock that was hard for her - onlyfor
her.
She pulled the hand that had gripped the rest of his shaft away, steadying
herself with it on his hip as she pushed his cock down her throat even more,
swallowing around it as her saliva pooled in her mouth. When she pulled away
from his cock, she tested running her teeth softly along it and he whimpered,
but she recognized the pleasure she was causing with the action.
Long minutes were spent as Rey leisurely practiced taking his whole length into
her mouth, and her jaw was beyond sore, but when she felt she couldn't do
another round, Rey found herself sucking on the tip of his cock without
conscious thought.
Ben's hands had finally found her hair, but didn't push her as he had before,
vastly preferring watching her enjoy sucking him off; but when his nails
started pushing into her scalp and his balls started tightening, Rey knew it
was time.
She pulled off of him entirely and his incredulousness could not be hidden,
"What are you doing? I was…close."
The controlled anger in his voice made Rey shudder, but her hands went to her
belt and she started removing her pants.
"Rey, no - anyone can come in here at any time, they'll see you," Ben wasn't as
concerned about him being discovered, but for Rey it was obvious she was a Jedi
of some kind and he didn't want her in any more trouble because of him.
"Shut up, Ben. Let them watch," her matter of fact response made him growl.
"I always knew you were a little exhibitionist, my little padawan," he watched
her pants hit the grass and she climbed on top of him again, straddling his
hips as they sat on the bench. Ben brushed away the strands of hair that had
fallen out of her buns as she had sucked him off and gripped her face, "You
want them to watch your Master fuck you, Rey?"
She whimpered and all her dominance from earlier washed away with his words and
she felt him position himself at her entrance and she pushed down immediately.
They both moaned, foreheads touching, breaths mingling. I missed you,he
whispered again, as if he was scared to speak.
But he took control again, a hand moving to massage her clothed breast, finding
and pinching a nipple through her clothing. Ben held her steady against him as
his fingers moved down her butt to find where they were joined together and she
gasped as he pushed another finger inside of her, "You could fit so much inside
of you, Rey. Would you like to try sometime? Maybe Finn can come along…"
He grinned wickedly as she growled in anger at the thought and he derived a
secret pleasure from it - that she didn't even want to think about anyone but
him. Always you, only you.She said to him as he removed the finger and gripped
her hips with both hands.
"Yes," he lifted her and rammed her down again, her clit grinding against his
exposed hardened leather belt and she cried out at that. "Only me. Forever,
Rey. Only me."
He rammed into her from their position for minutes at a relentless pace, the
sounds of slapping wet skin mixing with their heavy breaths and moans. Rey was
getting louder and louder, reminding him what it was like to hear her scream in
his ear, so Ben pushed a thumb between them and pressed against her clit,
sliding against it as she rode him. A piercing scream echoed off the high
ceiling, followed by her yelling his name every time she bounced helplessly
against him.
Ben was in complete control, watching her face with desperate eyes as it went
through hundreds of emotions at once, how she bit her lip and twitched every
time her clit hit his opened belt and the fabric of his robes. As he leaned in
to suck her neck, he saw someone standing down the path, watching them.
He growled and made Rey slow her motions to a leisurely roll of the hips, "We
have an audience, my little Padawan."
Rey was so far gone that the only thing she felt was a ripple of pleasure down
her spine at the thought of being watched, "Who is it?"
Ben chuckled and nosed her hair as he looked closer, "Just some man wanting
what you're giving to me. But he can't have you, can he Rey?"
She shook her head and rolled her hips harder into his and he whispered into
her ear, "Because you're mine,no one else will know what your pussy feels like
around their cock. He'll probably leave here and go fuck some prostitute who
looks like you, but it won't be the same will it?"
"No, Master Ben," she mumbled with conviction as the pleasure of his words
rocked her and she felt the strangers' eyes on her. "You and I are one of a
kind, a matched set."
After a few more moments of her pushing against him, she begged, "Show him I'm
yours, Ben, please. Make me come."
He growled and lifted her suddenly, placing her on the grass and spreading her
legs wide, pushing her knees to either side. Ben just stared at her, not
moving, when he realized he didn't want to share this with anyone else. He saw
the moment she felt that sentiment, how her face softened, and smiled.
Ben reached out a hand towards the lurker and pulled him to them, gripping his
throat tightly in his hand, "You are disgusting. You will not tell anyone what
you saw here."
His eyes glazed over, "I am disgusting. I will not tell anyone what I saw
here."
"You just went for a walk and are on your way back to your quarters now."
The man repeated the lines and Ben released him from his grip, watching him
walk away, sensing the man's emptiness of thought and sighed with relief.
He looked back down at Rey, who had a soft smile for him, "It's just us now."
Ben leaned in and kissed her lovingly as he pushed back into her wet pussy,
"This is sacred. Just us."
After that, he knew they were both too close to the edge and so his thrusts
were forceful and pointed, each one angled to hit her clit, eliciting deep
moans from her throat. Ben felt her lips gripping his cock and moved his hand
to help her out, circling her sensitive nub with the same rhythm of his hips.
She moaned his named, "Ben, oh stars, I love you."
He felt her milking his cock and the pressure in his balls became too much and
his upper body froze in place, jerking his hips furiously as he began to come
inside of her. Rey felt the warmth spurt into her and spill across her thighs
and she just mumbled yes yes yes over and over into his neck, her tongue
licking the now-bruised spot she had sucked on previously.
His body went rigid as the last spurts of come entered her and he collapsed
against her body, pressing down deliciously as he panted into chest and brought
his arms around her.
"Rey," he said. She just murmured in response, so he continued, "I don't think
I can stay away from you the way I need to."
She laughed softly and wrapped her arms around his back and kissed his lips,
"You don't have to. The Force works in mysterious ways, our time of
understanding will come - for now, just kiss me."
And he did.
===============================================================================
Chapter End Notes
     thank you again for all of your kind words, this story has kind of
     turned into an accidental actual story rather than just smut. I knew
     it would happen. I'm useless as a PWP writer. USELESS. feel free to
     request anything you'd be interested in!
***** if I dare speak your name *****
Chapter Summary
     Ben meets with his Uncle, Rey deals with Finn.
Chapter Notes
     requests granted. lightsaber kink (or the start of it)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
           Everybody's waiting up to hear if I dare speak your name
          Put it deep beneath the track, like the hole you left in me
       And everybody wants to know 'bout how it felt to hear you scream
   They know you walk like you're a God, they can't believe I made you weak
                             -Halsey, Strange Love
Rey moved quietly through the temple, hours after she had first left to meet
Ben; in the dead of night, she knew most would be asleep - but still she
obscured the sound of her feet as she made her way to her room. Ben's room.
She hadn't told him about that yet, wasn't sure if it would make him
uncomfortable - her level of obsession - but the sweet soreness between her
thighs reminded her of the depth of their depravity. A grin covered her face as
she turned the corner to her hallway, but she nearly turned back as soon as she
saw the person resting against her door.
Finn. Rey sighed and shook her head as she moved slowly towards him; Ben was in
her head, stronger now after their meeting, but he kept silent and all Rey felt
was his contentment. They had parted ways reluctantly once they had realized
that dozing off in the middle of a semi-public garden was probably not the best
thing for them. Especially considering one of them was a Jedi and the other her
former Jedi Master who had gone rogue from the Order. It had scandal written
all over it, so they had said their goodbyes on the other side of the door and
Rey could still feel the touch of his lips on her cheek.
As she got closer to Finn, she noticed he was slightly snoring against the
doorframe and she kicked his legs a little, "Hey, Finn.Wake up."
Rey was just met with mumbling so she punched in her door code and it whipped
open, Finn falling backwards into her room from the sudden movement.
"What-" He stuttered and looked around, clearly trying to remember what exactly
he was doing and where he was, but when he caught her as she stood over him,
arms crossed, he bounced up off the floor.
"Care to explain what you're doing outside my quarters in the middle of the
night?" She didn't linger on him, instead she moved to unclip her lightsaber
and place it in the small receptacle in the wall.
Finn just stood there awkwardly watching her move around the small room,
preparing to sleep. "You seemed troubled when you left the practice area
earlier, I came to see if you wanted to go have dinner somewhere to get your
mind off of everything."
Rey's hands flinched a little at the longing she felt from Finn, and felt
immediately guilty that she had abandoned so much of their friendship in the
past month or so. Ben had consumed her every thought and action, leaving so
little for anyone else.
She felt a rumble from his end, I told you this wasn't a good idea. I'm not
good for you.
Ignoring his words, she spoke to Finn instead, "Sorry - I needed some time
alone, you were right - I had to get my mind off of things. I went down into
the lower city."
His eyes bulged out at that, "Are you serious? That's dangerous! You could've
been hurt, especially if they found out you were a Jedi."
Rey just nodded, knowing he was right, but going along with her lie anyway; she
sat on her bed then, back pressed against the wall. Finn was right - the Jedi,
while feared, were hated in some areas who knew the part they had played in the
Clone Wars and the Empire. While most of it was the Sith influence, to most
people Jedi were synonymous with any Force user.
That would have been incredibly foolish, he's right.
She growled out loud, ignoring Finn's startled face, Well it's a good thing I'm
justlyingthen, isn't it?
Coldness washed over her and she shuddered, We're doing something far more
foolish, it is true.
"I have to say," Finn spoke as he propped up his feet on her small table and
gazed at her, "I'm almost glad it was that - someone mentioned that you had
probably gone to see Solo."
Her body tensed, "Why would that have been worse?"
Finn watched her body tighten and narrowed his eyes, sensing the turmoil of her
emotions. If she couldn't see why visiting her outcast former Master would have
been worse, things were far more troubling than he had thought.
"Rey, you know what he was accused of. The only reason he's not in mandalorian
shackles still is because he hid his tracks well - and he left,"he sighed
loudly. "We always knew you were a bit attached to him, but surely you must see
how wrong it would be."
She just glared at him, not wanting to admit he had a point; she knew he had
his dark side, had certainly experienced it, but Rey had grown to accept its
place. He was Ben Organa-Solo, and knowing of his darkness didn't change the
years he had spent with her.
He had been just as dark then, too.
"I'm perfectly aware of what he's like, far more so than you.Your opinion of
him is only built by rumors of jealous padawans."
Finn's eyes went wide at her low blow, "They're terrifiedof him, Rey. As well
they should be. He's never been pleasant, too powerful for his own good - you
know what happened the last time someone was that powerful."
Rey stood up calmly, "Finn, thank you for your concern, but I think it's time
for you to go. I'll see you tomorrow and we can go grab a meal then."
He was silent as he shook his head, leaving once the door hissed its way open.
Ben's side of the bond was empty the rest of the evening and as she slept,
leaving Rey cold and alone with her thoughts.
===============================================================================
"I will notgo to him, Leia," Ben spoke fiercely as he paced in her office
suite. After another week of deliberation, they had finally approved Ben's role
as a liaison and special reconnaissance officer for the Senate, but their first
orders were already running up against the wall of Organa-Solo's stubbornness.
Leia sighed, ignoring his refusal to call her mother again, "Ben, this is part
of the job. You have to talk with him - them - sometime."
"They should come to me.I am the Senate."
Her body stilled at those words, a memory coming through her from when she
studied the Empire's rise to power. "That's what Emperor Palpatine said shortly
before destroying everything your grandmother fought for."
Ben stopped pacing and glared at his mother, sensing the truth of her words. He
had no intention of becoming so corrupted, but the Jedi needed to understand
that they had no purpose in the Galaxy if not to serve it and its legislators.
"This will not turn out well, Leia." He spoke deliberately, warning her
needlessly of what might happen once the rogue Jedi Ben Organa-Solo met with
the Jedi Council in an official capacity for the Senate.
"I don't need to be told of what could happen, you're still going to follow
this request. And you will do so with graciousness and courtesy."
She had taught him these things well, Leia knew that, but all of his manners
and etiquette lessons would be tested for this first meeting. Ben hadn't spoken
with another Jedi since he left them weeks ago, not even his Uncle - who had
remained starkly quiet even with his sister.
"I won't make any promises," he said as he stalked out, grabbing his cloak off
of a high backed chair.
"He's a lot like his old man, eh Leia?" A voice warbled in from the holo
device. Han.
"He somehow got the worst of both of us, husband mine."
She only hoped that was all he had inherited from her family, in the end.
===============================================================================
Ben hopped off the speeder and landed elegantly on the ground, unclasping his
cloak and settling it into a compartment. His hair was unruly as always, puffed
out from the travel from the Senate's location.
Fury still rolled off him in waves, not bothering to control his emotions the
way he had been trained. It was willful defiance that made him refuse to reign
them in, letting him revel in the licking darkness of wounded pride.
He hadn't told Rey he was coming, but surely she felt him as he landed - he
could feel the tug along the bond almost as strongly as the desire that crept
up on him when he thought about how close she was. It had been a week since the
garden, and in his mercurial state of emotions after Finn's appearance, he had
pushed her away when she tried to talk to him.
It's likely she was furious with him again, for constantly pushing her away
only to pull her to him again with no rhyme or reason.
There was a logic to it, he thought, as he walked measuredly towards the
Temple. When he was with her, all he felt was the primal and incessant pull
towards her; they were bound in more ways than he had ever thought possible,
and no one could have expected either of them to pull away from each other -
physically or emotionally.
But when they were forced to separate, the rational side screamed at him to let
her go - the Jedi weren't permitted romantic relationships for a very good
reason. It split their focus, tipped the balance of peace they strove for.
Rey was just starting to blossom in her role in the Order, she couldn't be
tarnished by any more connections to him - forbidden or otherwise.
Not to mention that his very nature was dangerous; Ben stood on the line of the
Dark and Light side of the Force - he welcomedthe Dark with both arms. It kept
him balanced, but it would be so easy to take a small step closer to the Dark
and have it consume him. He was stronger than any of the Council when it came
to the Force, but his seemingly split nature would always serve as a warning to
those in power - of how quickly Ben Organa-Solo could turn into a nightmare of
legend.
The doors open and Ben immediately felt the ripple of fear that rolled off
those who were inside - those who saw him first. Some things never changed, and
he fed off of their fear as he stomped through the entrance hall, staring
through anyone who dared to make eye contact with him.
Leaving the Order, it seemed, had increased his notoriety and the fear of the
other Jedi and padawans. As he turned a corner, walking deliberately towards
the Jedi Council's atrium, he felt her presence and looked up.
Rey was standing there with her group of friends, fellow Jedi and padawans,
staring at him with a thin lip and worried eyes.
Ben locked eyes with her as he walked down the hallway, finally nodding in
recognition as he passed. There were gasps as he did so, murmurs of awe that
were directed at Rey.
Apparently I make you weak, Ben.Her voice was filled with humor.
He smiled inwardly, They're right, my little padawan. I drop to my knees at
your word.
Back in the midst of her friends, Rey gave him a small smile he couldn't see.
Come find me later, Jedi. You know the code.
Ben groaned at the thought of seeing her again in his bed and the images she
was sending him did nothing to quell the desire. The pull they had towards each
other made them foolish, even now in the middle of so many Jedi.
Without waiting for the droid to announce him, he opened the door to the atrium
and strode confidently in.
Only one Master Jedi sat there. Luke. His Uncle.
"I was told my meeting was with the Council, Master Skywalker." Despite his
anger and resentment, he still could not bring himself to disrespect his Uncle.
Out of all of the new Master Jedi, Luke Skywalker was the only one who had
truly earned that right - he did so as was tradition: in battle.
"Yes," Luke spoke without an undertone, "And that's what is still intended,
however I asked them to step out so that you and I could talk briefly."
"Now? If you wanted to talk, you knew where I was. Instead you chose to ignore
both sister and nephew until this moment."
His uncle narrowed his eyes, "I was giving you time and space to come to your
senses, Ben. But that is not why I wished to talk to you privately."
Ben shifted, uncomfortable all of a sudden with Luke's words; it was as if he
was treating Ben as a fellow Master Jedi, bringing him into his confidence.
"I do not have the gift for Force-visions like my father and other Jedi did,
but I feel something stirring in the unknown regions. Something ancient, it
feels nothing like the Sith presence of the Emperor or my father."
"Why are you telling me this?" Ben was skeptical about why his uncle would dare
tell him this, given what he suspected of his nephew.
Luke sighed and walked towards him, "Nephew, you and I are the closest to the
dark side out of all the Jedi. In the absence of Force-seers, we must rely on
the ripples in the Force - and those such as us can feel the darkness' rising
presence easier."
The dark haired Jedi stalked back and forth across the chamber, "That still
doesn't explain why you would dare tell me, given what you suspect."
"You have a passion for ancient things, and are an adept scholar of Jedi
history," Luke spoke quietly and Ben knew there was something more, so he
waited. "And this is not something the Council should be made aware of until we
are certain of the threat."
Ben laughed bitterly, "So now you're happy that I left the Order, so that I can
do your bidding?"
"No, but I think your actions were guided by the Force for reasons I cannot
understand - whatever may be out there will be a threat. I cannot tell if it
will manifest before I die, but I give the knowledge to you. I implore you to
investigate."
Ben stood and contemplated his words and the request that lay underneath them.
"If I am to investigate this, I will require assistance from a sanctioned
Jedi."
"Very well, let me know when and I will assign one."
"It must be Rey, Luke."
He tried to keep the desire from his voice, but Luke picked up on it, "I do not
think that is a good idea, Jedi Organa-Solo. Your feelings betray you, even I
can sense your desire for her."
"She was my padawan and the only Jedi who does not fear me - she is more than
capable and that should be enough to get her the assignment. I can control
whatever feelingsyou think are there."
Ben's voice quivered with anger at how exposed he felt, and Luke stared at him
before closing his eyes. He stood there for minutes on end, seemingly
meditating on the answer he should give.
"So be it," he said finally. "The Force wills it, though I cannot imagine why.
Yours is not a connection that should be encouraged. You are dangerous to her,
Ben Organa-Solo."
As if he needed more reminders.
===============================================================================
After that, the Council filtered in and arguments arose about the Jedi's place
in galactic politics.
"For thousands of years, Jedi stood as the peacekeepers of the galaxy, working
in harmony with the Senate - what are you training them for, if not for that?"
Ben's points were well argued and surprised more than a number of Council
members, but they were still reluctant to put their allegiance solely with a
political arm.
"Agent Organa-Solo," one addressed Ben with his new title awkwardly, "We
acknowledge that the reason we train Jedi in the art of combat and harmony is
to be mediators and small bands of peacekeepers in the galaxy. But surely you
understand why we are wary of trusting the Senate again after its corruption."
"Corruption at the hands of trained Sith Lords, trained by the Jedi that failed
to sense their presence for decades."
The Jedi spoke in quietly after that, and after a while Ben grew tired of
listening, "I know you do not trust me, but I am far more a Jedi than a
politician. I will act as gatekeeper between times where you would be used in a
political machination and times where the Jedi would be truly needed."
The chatter stilled as he spoke, showing them a wisdom they had rarely seen
from the former Jedi. "The new generation of Jedi need to be trained in real
situations and not just training exercises and pre-made trials. If you fear
politics, perhaps you should fear untrained Jedi more."
"You yourself, young Organa-Solo, have not been tested in combat. What does
that say of you?"
The darkness licked at his consciousness and with barely a flicker of his hand,
the Council's chairs lifted off the ground simultaneously. "I say even
untrained as I am, I am more powerful than you.But I held back. Out of
respect."
They came down gently and the Jedi Masters wore calm faces, "We will take your
proposal into consideration, Agent Organa-Solo. We will contact you of our
decision in three days."
Without bothering to bow or show any obsequiousness, Ben turned on his heels
and left the room with his deliberate gait.
Eyes lingered on him as he maneuvered through the temple, although not as many
people were there as before. It was time for their daily group meditations, but
Ben knew Rey would still be there waiting for him.
He sensed the hallway was empty as he turned to his former quarters, pressing
the code into the entrance pad. Stepping into his old room like nothing had
changed, he set his lightsaber next to hers as the door hissed shut, and turned
to see her sitting on his bed with her knees pressed against her chest.
"Rey," he whispered with reverence; despite her previous words, Ben had only
barely hoped she would be here waiting for him.
Her hands fell off her knees as she spoke, "I didn't think you'd show - figured
you would do your whole 'I'm not good for you' martyr bit."
The bitterness in her voice set him on edge, it didn't suit her and he hated
hearing it; Ben walked over and held out his hand, waiting for hers. She took
it lightly and Ben pulled her up to kneel on his bed.
"I would not be able to deny you any longer," he spoke finally, resting her
hand against his chest and staring down at her. Breath caught in her chest as
his mind opened to hers, to their bond, and she choked back desperate noises.
"I denied the possibility of us for so long, Rey…once I had touched you that
option was burned away."
Her other hand rose to press behind his neck, pushing him down to her lips. The
feel of his lips against hers again made her let out a small whine, to which he
responded by opening her mouth for a deeper kiss. Their bodies were connected
only by their mouths and her hand on his chest, but still the heat of desire
washed over them both.
Rey pulled away slightly and her hands moved to unclasp his belt, letting it
drop to the floor without ceremony. He stood still, watching her hands run
against his skin as she pulled the robes off of him. Lips pressed against his
hard chest, tongue following the grooves of his stomach upwards until it
reached one of his nipples.
Ben's breath hitched as her tongue circled it, attempting to suck on it as
fervently as he does to hers; he pulled away and his hands pushed the last
article of clothing to the floor. His cock was pressing against his stomach
again and when Rey licked her lips, his thoughts went to the garden - when she
knelt in front of him, worshipping.
He shook his head, trying to focus on her, "Rey…" his voice dropped away when
he saw that she had understood and immediately went to pull her top robes off.
His hands followed them, running along the soft and toned skin, until her
breasts were revealed - or would have been, had she not been wearing a breast
band. Ben growled, and ripped it off more forcefully than he had planned. His
name escaped her lips in shock and he lifted her body to his with one arm, so
she could slide off the rest of her clothes.
"Ben…" she gasps, "I think they know."
Lips left her neck and looked at her darkly, "And whose fault is that?"
Rey stared back at him defiantly, "Mine, but I wantthem to suspect. I want them
to wonder if the big scary Ben Organa-Solo they've feared for so long whimpered
under my touch last week."
He growled and lifted her legs around his hips, his cock teasing against them
slightly; turning around, he sat on the bed and laid back, leaving Rey to raise
her eyebrow at his movement. He just watched her as he felt her arousal slide
against his lower stomach, and as he gripped her hips and moved her up his body
to straddle his chest, she left a trail of wetness.
"Oh Rey," he spoke as one of his thumbs circled her clit and she cried out,
grinding down into him. "If only they knew how weak you made me."
Her eyes met his, "What do you mean?"
She was breathless and he shuddered as he slid a finger inside almost casually,
"Away from you, I have so much resolve - to step away from this, that I'm no
good for you or your future. But the moment I see you, touch you…nothing could
stop me, Rey."
She leaned down, hands pressed on either side of his face, breaths coming in
shallow bursts as his fingers worked between her legs methodically. "What if
they came in here and saw what you were doing, would you stop?"
Fire flashed in his eyes, "You're mine,Rey. If they came in here they would
find themselves unconscious quickly." Ben squeezed her hip as she rolled it to
meet his fingers.
"So possessive, what would you do if I told you I wanted to take a lover?
Someone who was around all the time…"
He sat up immediately and grabbed her face with both hands, forcing her against
his lips in a vicious kiss, she bit his lip in retaliation and he groaned,
hands pressing against her even tighter.
"You say that only to tease me," he growled, knowing it was true - she couldn't
lie to him when their bond was so open.
Hips grinded slowly against his as her head moved slowly towards his wet
fingers against her cheek; her eyes never left his as she took his thumb into
her mouth and began sucking on it slowly, tasting herself as she watched his
lips part in awe.
It was true, she only teased him when she mentioned wanting another lover, but
she craved more - wanted him daily. She knew it was impossible, but it was
still an ache she could not shake.
Ben felt her emotions and leaned back against the pillow, but this time he
grabbed her thighs and gestured for her to move up even higher.
"Put your knees on either side of my head, little padawan, I want you to ride
me."
She blushed at the thought, but did as he said and immediately his hands groped
her ass and pulled her pussy lips flush against his lips, tongue running
against them as his nose pressed into her clit.
"Ben!" She gasped at the new sensation and angle, her hands reaching out to
press against the wall as his tongue pushed inside of her, slowly licking
upwards to meet her clit.
His hands pressed her down against his face and she felt herself involuntarily
riding against the pulse of his tongue as it moved inside of her. Rey knew she
should probably be concerned about whether he could breath, but it was pushed
out the window when the bond flooded them both with the new sensations.
She felt his hips thrust into the air repeatedly as the mixture of tongue
fucking her andfeeling her sensations drove him wild. Rey couldn't blame him,
because as she pressed her hands into the mattress above him and leaned over to
hit a new angle, she felt him take her clit between his teeth at the same time
as she sensed the taste of it on her lips.
"This…is new," she gasped, and he just moaned into her lips and she moved her
hips in a circular motion, all tentativeness and awkwardness at the position
gone in the name of pleasure.
After endless minutes of his ministrations, Ben ran his hands up and squeezed
her breasts that hang above him, tantalizingly. The heat in her lower stomach
began to build and he felt it as potently as he did his own desire, and he
pushed her chest backwards, her hands instinctively pressing backwards as her
back nearly pressed parallel with his chest now.
Hands forced her hips to his mouth and his tongue began fluttering against her
clit in a rapid pulse and she began sobbing, his name leaving her lips every
time his teeth ran against it. Her climax, which had been building for minutes,
finally crested over and he continued to hold her against his mouth, drinking
her in as she rode out the orgasm.
Rey collapsed backwards along his body and heard the wet noises of him licking
her clean, suddenly red from embarrassment again.
A gentle push against her hips and she sat back up and crawled off of him,
collapsing with her back against the bed.
"Ben, that was…"
She didn't know what to say, but he didn't let her continue, "I might have to
leave Coruscant for a time. I don't know how long."
Rey's heart sunk at that, even in her post-orgasm high, she curled up against
his body, leg slipping between his. "What do you have to do?"
Ben's eyes closed as if he felt something amiss, "My mother thinks there is
some trouble on the outskirts of the known regions, wants me to check it out
discreetly."
She sensed he didn't want to tell her how long he might be, but she knew
anyway. Months. He could be gone for months - and what would happen during that
time? What if this pull, this madness they felt, slipped away with his absence?
"You know that's not possible," he said fervently as he looked into her eyes.
"Whatever else is true, we are tangled together."
"But - that doesn't mean we have to be together- like this," Rey hated the fear
in her voice at the prospect and he squeezed her into his side. He wasn't going
to tell her about the deal he made with his Uncle until he had written
confirmation, but hopefully he would be able to take her along - two birds, one
stone as it were.
"When you used to think of me at night, did you only use your hands?"
Rey blushed and squirmed a little at his question, "Yes, just my fingers
really."
"Hmm," Ben thought about this slowly, "After having me, I don't know if that
will be enough."
He rose up and hovered over her, searching her face, "Do you trust me? I want
to show you something that may help."
Her fingers danced between the locks of his hair, "I trust you, Ben."
His hand held out to where the lightsabers rested in the wall, and called his
to him; Rey jumped a little, trying to quell the fear that gripped her
instinctively.
"This is an elegant weapon, very precise," he spoke as if he were giving a
lesson, but Rey's eyes were huge as she watched his fingers run along his
unusually shaped weapon. "However, the hilt is…perhaps perfect for this."
"For what?" Her voice was soft and breathy; she knew what he likely meant to do
and her stomach muscles quivered.
He raised one of her shaking hands to grip the hilt, "Does this feel familiar,
Rey? This size?"
Blushing, she glided her hand around it and nodded, "It feels…like you."
The lightsaber hilt was of similar size to his hardened cock, which meant it
was perfect for his next lesson. He switched positions with her, so Rey was
flat against the bed and he hovered over her. The lightsaber rested on her
stomach and the cold metal taunted her.
Ben slid two fingers inside of her without warning, but she was so slick she
hardly noticed until he separated them and added another, pumping leisurely
inside of her, watching the small spasms of her face and stomach as he did so.
"Rey, when I leave, I want you to practice with your lightsaber for me."
She huffed and rolled her eyes, "Ben, of courseI'm going to-"
Ben shook his head and she went silent as he gripped the hilt of his lightsaber
with his slicked fingers and ran it down her stomach, sliding deliberately over
her clit.
Rey gasped, realizing what he really meant to do, "No…Ben please…"
But her hips bucked into the cold metal, betraying her words; she felt dirty
even considering it.
"My little padawan, you love what I do to you - and you asked me to teach you,
did you not?"
Biting her lip, she nodded, and they locked eyes with each other, Rey drowning
in his dark pools as he pressed the circular hilt against her entrance. She
sobbed his name as he pushed it inside of her, feeling the foreignness of the
metal clash with the wet sounds she was hearing, but all she could see was his
eyes as they watched her.
He pressed nearly all 9 inches of it inside of her and she sobbed wildly at the
agonizing pressure. Ben let go and knelt between her legs, pushing her knees up
to rest against either side of her chest.
"I can get more in, this way," he said reverently as he set the Force to freeze
her legs like that. "You're so beautiful like this, Rey…completely at my will.
Maybe I'll get you back for your other lovers suggestion now…"
She shook her head and he laughed, "Don't worry, love, I'm just showing you how
to please yourself while I'm gone."
He pushed the rest of the hilt inside of her and she cried out his name and he
heard feet stop outside in the hallway, but he didn't bother to silence her.
His name on her lips and in the gutter of her throat was a think of perfection.
Ben twisted the hilt counter clockwise slowly as he pulled it out and she
sobbed at its absence until he shoved it back in and her hips bucked into the
air.
"My dirty, dirty Rey, do you like being fucked by my lightsaber?"
She let out a breathy yes and he grinned, "When I'm on my mission, you are to
bring a practice saber to this room just for this - do you understand? I want
you to fuck yourself on a lightsaber hilt, imagining it's my cock."
He set a pace somewhere between agonizingly slow and painfully fast, the ridges
and exposed wires rubbing against her sensitive skin in a delicious but harsh
way. Ben was careful not to bruise her, knowing she would want the real thing
afterwards, but still he angled the metal hilt upwards so it would grind
against her clit with every movement.
She really was beautiful like this, he thought, her pussy fully exposed to him,
red and slick and plump from arousal. Her hair was matted against her face and
he pulled some of it away with his hands as he bent over to kiss her languidly,
still twisting the cold metal between her.
"Ben," she whined in to his mouth, "I need you. Please."
Her breaths came fast as he increased the speed, "Not until you cum all over my
lightsaber. I want to smell you every time I use it. Come for me Rey."
He lifted her body with the Force so he could thrust it into her at a new
angle, hitting the sweet spot deep inside, and she begged him to stop in her
delirium. But all he felt from her was pleasure and desperation for him to make
her come again.
"Come on, baby girl, my little padawan, cum for me. Cum all over your master's
weapon. It's so big, how did you ever think you could take all of it?"
Rey groaned his name, "I wanted all of you, I didn't care how."
"That's right, Rey, you took all of your master's dick just like you're taking
his weapon right now - are you going to come around it, milk it like you do my
cock?"
They felt her stomach flutter and her lips began to grip the hilt, sucking it
in even tighter than before; Rey screamed his name the entire length of the
orgasm, and Ben released the Force freeze on her legs, watching them collapse
to the bed.
He pulled out his now-drenched lightsaber and took a deep breath, her scent
surrounding him. He stuck his tongue out and licked it once or twice, watching
her eyes as she lay there on his bed, panting.
"Wasn't that better than just a few fingers? Now you'll know how to please
yourself properly when I'm gone."
Rey sat up and pulled him in for a kiss, tongue sucking his as she moved to
kneel on the bed, "Nothing will ever be as good as you, please don't leave me
just yet."
Ben looked over at the time display and knew that people would be returning
from their meals soon, making it nearly impossible for him to leave undetected
if he didn't go now.
But the desperation and love in her face made him nod and he was blinded by her
smile once more.
===============================================================================
 
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you so much for the lovely messages (and whoa! we hit 300+
     kudos!), and I hope you enjoyed the start of the oft-requested
     lightsaber kink. =O
***** to lay my glory at thy feet *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
                      I, who alone have understood thee,
                       Find in thy heart my mercy seat,
                   My shrine, mine altar; I have wooed thee,
                         To lay my glory at thy feet.
                         -The Demon, Mikhail Lermontov
Hours later, when the halls quieted down for the evening, Ben stepped out of
the fresher and looked down at the still-sleeping and peaceful woman. He knelt
and ran the back of his hand against her cheek - she didn't move at all; Ben
would have to lecture her about being on her guard even during sleep, but for
now he smiled fondly and pressed his lips to her forehead.
"See you soon," he whispered as he stood and clipped his lightsaber to his
belt, pressing the button for the door.
He stepped out into the hallway confidently, knowing most students and people
would be sleeping at this hour. No one would be there to question his presence,
if they dared. As he left the temple, boots stomping on the ground towards his
speeder, he felt a presence - and anger.
"You need to stay away from her," Ben turned towards the voice slowly, eyebrows
raised. His face showed no other emotion even as he realized who it was.
"Finn, is it?"
"You know who I am - stay away from her," the padawan's stance was rigid, his
hands flexing as if close to pulling his weapon on the older man. Once again,
Ben felt a small rumble of anger that he pushed down quietly. Rey wouldn't
appreciate him making another scene when he was trying to be inconspicuous -
especially if he wanted her to travel with him. 
"Yes, you said that - to whom are you referring?" Finn's face pulled into a
glare as his anger got the better of him, to which Ben could only smirk in
response - his composure briefly broken.
"REY! You're taking advantage of her, of her kindness and innocence- you're a
disgrace."
At that, Ben's smirk was wiped away and he stepped into Finn's personal space,
looking down into his face. He could not believe that he was being insulted by
such a low and inept padawan. He knew this was Rey's friend, but no one had
ever dared speak to him like that - and he wouldn't have them start. He needed
to remind Finn why people whispered about Ben with fear.
"Listen to me, whatever is happening between myself and Rey is herbusiness. You
would do well to remember that while I am no longer a member of the Order, I am
still vastlymore powerful and well-trained than you."
"Is that a threat?" Finn showed no signs of cowering, which impressed Ben
somewhat - although it didn't quell the annoyance - at least Rey had good
tastes in friends.
"It's just a reminder. They kicked me out for a reason, you know," and at that
Finn stepped back. Ben took his silence as understanding, and turned to
continue to his speeder. He would have to warn Rey about this when she woke,
but she needed to sleep a little longer. He climbed into the vehicle and made
his way to his apartments, listening in every now and then to Rey's heavy
breathing across the bond as she slept. 
===============================================================================
He wasted no time, traveling straight to his mother's rooms to tell her the
trip had been approved by the council, with caution.
Leia sat at the head of the table in the eating quarters, looking down at the
metal finishing instead of at her son, "If Luke senses trouble there as well, I
fear sending you won't be safe."
Ben stood at the edge of the room, watching his mother's bowed head, and
attempted to reassure her, "Luke has agreed to a Jedi escort."
He left out that he had been the one to beg for one, knowing that only Rey
would suffice.
"Why doesn't that make me feel any better?" His mother answered dryly, "If
anything that makes it worse."
Ben's anger spiked, and he felt Rey's response; once again he was disrupting
her sleep, it wasn't good - the bond was too influential already. Shaking his
head, he sat next to his mother.
"This is voluntary for both of us, but if the trouble is as bad as you say, we
need to know exactly what's happening so that you can convince the Republic."
It was hard to tell whether Ben cared enough about helping the Republic, his
mother, or just wanted an excuse to get Rey alone on a spaceship for an
extended trip; nonetheless, his face and words must have convinced his mother
and she nodded. 
"Very well, but you're to tell no one about the trip. We'll circulate that
you're taking a brief break to meditate, they won't know any better." She
smiled wryly at him and Ben almost smiled back; he didmeditate, but discovered
long ago not to contradict her if it's not worth the fight.
She pulled out an unusual device that looked like a commlink, but it was made
to strap around a wrist. "This is a direct line and pulse beacon. You will only
be able to communicate with me on it, and should you take longer than expected
to return with no communications, we'll find you with the beacon."
Ben was agitated at the thought of being put on a leash, but nodded. His mind
was entirely on Rey, whom he could feel stirring in a fitful sleep. He clipped
the device to his belt and pulled his cloak back on.
"Ben," his mother called out, and he stopped, turning slightly towards her,
"May the Force be with you." 
Not able to look at her, he simply nodded and left.
===============================================================================
He turned a corner in the hallways outside his mother's apartments and heard a
voice, "Heard you're going on a little trip."
Ben spun towards to the voice, flicking his hand to hold the offender in place.
"Syndra. What do you want?"
She was pressed against the wall and as he loosened his grip on her, she
pressed her hip against it, cocking her head, "Like I said, heard you're going
on a trip."
"Yes, a meditation retreat. I haven't been in some time, it is long overdue."
Syndra sneered at him, "Don't lie to me, I know better, Kylo Ren.You're taking
some Jedi with you? Is it her?"
He froze at the mention of his othername. The one only she knew, the one that
made him shudder in remembrance. Hands ran around his chest, gripping his body
from behind and they dipped lower, and Ben felt his hips cant towards them.
"You're taking her, aren't you? Rey.Have you done things with her? Is that why
you never see me anymore?"
He found it hard to not react, heavy breaths in between his words, "I told you
why, I was very clear."
A light laugh hit his ears as she turned to face him, "I've missed you. Does
she know how twisted you are? Does she know how to make you feel good?"
Her hands kept teasing his cock through his pants, arousal clouding his
judgment.
"My place is just down here, if you want a good fuck before you leave," she
looked up at him earnestly, desire plain on her face - he had never seen that
before, always believed they were on the same page with their liaisons.
Ben gripped her hands and pulled them away from his body, "I told you this was
over, regardless of the fact that I can't be with her - I can't be with
youanymore."
He left her abruptly, without any other word or explanation. 
===============================================================================
Luke found Rey in the training arena, whipping through her forms and testing
her new saberstaff. Emotions rolled off her in waves, but she couldn't find it
in herself to care. She barely even noticed the presence of the Jedi Master,
didn't expect anyone else to be there as it was only a few hours before first
light.
She was sweating, but more so from the strain on her mental energy as she tried
to keep up the block on her force bond with Ben rather than the physical
exertion.
"Rey," Luke spoke firmly, as if he had said it a few times and she was only now
noticing. Her saber deactivated as she whipped around to see the Jedi Master
watching her in that infuriatingly impassive way of his.
"Yes, Master Luke?" Her breaths were short as she caught her breath.
"I must ask something of you that may make you uncomfortable," he started, and
she knew in her bones it was going to be about Ben. The last person she wanted
to talk about at the moment, as it were. Nevertheless, she stood and watched
him patiently, waiting for him to explain. 
"We have determined that there is something worth investigating, on the outer
rim near the Unknown Regions." He cleared his throat, "The legislature feels it
is best kept quiet, and so they've elected to send one of their members - and I
have agreed to send you as escort, to report on things as you see fit."
Rey realized she was holding her breath, remembering last night as she clawed
frantically at Ben's chest, pleading with him to not leave her alone. He
hadn't, she knew that this was his doing.
"Who am I going with?"
Luke hesitated, "Ben Organa-Solo. I know it's likely to be an uncomfortable
situation, given the recent issues, but you're the only one with a hope of
surviving a long trip with him."
Rey snorted unexpectedly, which made Luke's body relax a little. "When are we
leaving?"
"Today, I was on my way to wake you and found you here." His eyes narrowed,
"Are you okay, Rey?"
Her lightsaber spun a little before she clipped it to her belt, nodding at him
as she headed towards her quarters. "I'm quite alright, thank you. Just getting
a little training in."
She could feel the skepticism as she left the room and took off running,
traitorous tears trailing down her cheeks.
===============================================================================
Ben stood at the landing pad of the newly acquired ship - completely
unremarkable and unaffiliated with either himself, the Jedi, or the Senate.
Luke had comm'd ahead, saying that Rey was prepared and on her way, but it had
been a long enough time that Ben was beginning to worry.
He had tried reaching out over the bond, lately a very easy task, but found it
slippery and unstable; he couldn't get a read on her, even though he knew she
was there.
An hour later, he spotted her on the other side and smiled broadly. Rey caught
her breath and stumbled a little at the unexpected action, but pulled herself
together and walked up to him, face impassive.
"I was assigned as your escort, Agent Organa-Solo, I'm ready when you are."
The smile on his face slipped and his eyes grew cold and calculating as she
felt him probing her mind for the bond and realizing that it was unstable -
that the wall on her mind was deliberate.
"What's wrong?" He asked the obvious question, for surely there was something
wrong, her entire body was rigid. "Did someone find out? Did Finn say
something?" 
She looked at him sharply, "What does Finn have to do with anything? You'rethe
one who needs to t-" but Rey shut herself off and moved past him, climbing into
the ship.
Ben was agitated as he watched her check the systems and fuel, normally
something that would arouse him - watching her in her element; anything she
did, really. But now his temper was spiking, every time she barked an order at
him - check this, move, sit down, radio for clearance. By the time they were in
the air and she was punching in coordinates to make the jump to lightspeed,
Ben's edges were frayed and the fabric on the armrests was beginning to tear.
Rey got up after the coordinates had been entered, muttering that it would be
several hours before they had to make their first adjustment. He sat there for
a few minutes, trying to piece together what was going on - and realized that
there had been nothing on her end of the bond the entire day.
Since he left her quarters, in fact.
He stood up and walked towards her room on the ship; while it wasn't the
fastest ship, Leia had made sure it was sizeable and well equipped for two
people to spend most of their time on it for a number of weeks. And that
included full size living quarters.
Any other time, he suspected both would have been ecstatic about the prospect
of being alone on a ship together, but Rey's mood was anything but.
He rapped on the door to get her attention.
"Go away," was her muffled response. But he had kept his silence the entire
time and ignored it, slamming his hand on the button to open the door. Ben had
every intention of launching into a heated argument, but stopped as soon as he
saw her tears.
Taking two long strides towards her, he knelt at the edge of the bed, staring
at her.
"Will you tell me what's wrong? I can't feel you," Ben tried to not let the
bitterness edge into his voice, his concern trumping any irritation he had been
feeling.
Rey sniffled, her eyebrows creasing in a look of anger, "I shut you out, you
don't deserve me."
Ben held back a chuckle at that, he had only been telling her that for weeks -
but she insisted. Stubborn girl. Instead he smiled softly and brushed her hair
away from her face.
"I always thought so, now you've just caught up with that realization." They
stared at each other for a long time, the silence stretching into awkwardness.
Finally, Ben leaned in to kiss her forehead, before standing to leave.
He heard a rustle of the blankets, "Don't you care about me?"
Rey's voice was loaded with accusation and a hint of fear, but Ben barely had
time to respond before he was being pushed back, her hands on his chest.
"Well? You're just going to leave it at that? Accept that? You're not even
going to tryto fight for me?"
"Of COURSE I will fight for you, but you seem to be making it perfectly clear
that you've made your decision - and you're not wrong. I've always told you I'm
no good for you, and it may be poor timing, but it's true."
She let out a guttural yell that went straight to his cock unbidden, "I SAW you
with her."
Ben blinked for a few moments, then suddenly it all clicked into place, "…her?"
He had to be sure what she saw.
"A woman, today - she was…touchingyou. Whispering things - you KNEW her. And
you-" she gulped, and his eyes followed her body intently as she carried on.
"You...let her touch you, Ben. How could you?"
He let out a ragged breath, remembering Syndra's hands on him and toying words
this morning. He had spent so much effort keeping her from Rey that he never
realized how likely it was that she would find out from the bond itself.
"Her name is Syndra," he sat down on the bed as he began to explain, not sure
how deep to go with it. "Yes, we used to…meet each other. It was before you and
I began whatever this is." He gestured between the two, and realized that he
had no idea what they were. He only knew that he hated the hurt that surrounded
her.
Rey blinked, realizing that she should have known this all along, "Of course
you fucked others, I should have known - but her hands were all overyou. I felt
what you felt. You wantedher."
Ben lunged, grabbed her hand, "No, whatever you felt was a purely instinctual
reaction - I stopped it with her before you and I ever touched. She just had a
hard time letting go and cornered me. I should have stopped her sooner, I'm
sorry."
She stood there, hand still clasped, quiet as she contemplated his words. 
"Do you…" he cleared his throat, unsure, "Want to know more? I'll tell you
whatever you want to know about us."
Instead of responding, she slapped him hard on the cheek. "You're mine."
His breath picked up and he locked eyes with her, fury overtaking her calm
demeanor. "Tell me what I want to hear."
He kept contact with her as he slid off the bed, kneeling before her, "I'm
yours, Rey." He felt paralyzed by her voice, but for once it wasn't the Force
they were using on each other - this came from a deeper pit of desire, one that
Ben had never suspected was there. His head tilted upwards to look at her,
tendrils of hair escaping her buns and steel eyes staring back down at him.
"No one is to evertouch you without my permission again, do you understand?" He
felt like her voice should have made his blood run cold, but instead he felt
warm - in all the places that mattered.
Knowing better than to stay silent, he responded lovingly, "I understand."
At that, Rey pushed him to the bed, "This time, you do asIsay." Taking his
silence as acceptance, she straddled his broad chest and leaned down to capture
his lips. It was bruising, the pressure she added, and as he opened his mouth
in response her teeth bit his lower lip, piercing it.
He yelped in surprise, tasting blood as her tongue explored his mouth; his
hands went to pull her closer, but she grabbed them and pushed them away.
"You don't get to touch me," she whispered against his lips and it was all he
could do to not whimper. He had never been in this position before, but found
the idea of submitting to her enthralling. "Not until I allow it. You've lost
that right, Ben Solo."
His hips canted upwards, finding nothing but air, and she wrapped her fingers
around his throat, squeezing lightly. "What did I just say?"
Ben lowered his legs to the bed, fists clenching from the effort he was making
to not touch her. He had never submitted to instructions before, was always bad
at it, but with Rey above him, the fierceness and hurt in her voice - it made
him want to do anythingto soothe that ache. She climbed off him and left the
room, and he realized the soft touch of her Force signature holding him in
place.
"This is supposed to be for rigging the cargo, but it'll do." She walked back
in holding a loop of nylon rope, frayed with use. Rey watched him lick his lips
and wondered if he even realized how much he wanted this.
She ran her hands underneath his shirt, feeling the hard muscles flexing
beneath them, and pulled it off. Her lips caressed his neck as she placed
kisses down the line of his chest, stopping to run her tongue around his
nipples.
"Rey, please…" he whimpered, and she could sense his frustration, his cock
begging to be free. But she spent the next few minutes with her lips on
nipples, hands diving into his hair, pulling fists of it as she bit his
sensitive skin. She could get used to having Ben Organa-Solo completely at her
mercy, it was almost worth the pain of seeing him allow the other woman to
touch him.
She growled at the thought and ripped his pants off, a stark difference to how
she had lovingly removed the top part of his clothing. He hissed as his cock
was slapped around by the removal, but it only seemed to cause it to have a
mind of its own as it twitched against his stomach, searching for the heat of
her body.
Rey strapped his wrists and ankles to the legs of the bed, spreading his legs
wide as she had always done for him.
"I should do this more often, you look so good splayed out like this. If anyone
knew," she whispered, running her hands up his thighs and grazing his balls
with her fingertips. "Where you were right now, they wouldn't believe it, would
they? The great Ben Organa-Solo, Jedi Knight."
She kissed her way up his chest again, leaving a soft lick on the tip of his
cock, until she reached his ear. Tugging on it, she whispered, "Would you tell
them how much you loved it? How much you secretly crave this?"
His body was quivering, but he shook his head. "Only for you, I only want you -
"
Growling a little, she lifted up and looked at his eyes, "You let her touch you
without permission. You're mine,Ben. This body, your soul, it's mine.No one
touches you like that every again, do you understand?"
"Yes, Rey - I'm so sorry, let me make it up to you." He begged, and as a hand
reached down to wrap around his cock he began to pant. She kept eye contact as
her small hands rose up and down the shaft, her thumb pressing gently against
the tip, feeling the liquid seeping out. Her lips sought his again and his
mouth opened for hers greedily, running his tongue against her teeth before
sucking on her tongue to the same rhythm as her hands.
She pulled away abruptly, reaching to the straps of her outfit as she pulled it
off. "I thought about punishing you by keeping my clothes on," she spoke
matter-of-factly, but her voice was heady with desire. "But really, what's more
of a punishment?"
She climbed over his body, legs on either side, and dipped a finger inside her
cunt and dragging the wetness up his chest. His cock was pushing against her
back and she wiggled a little against it, "Not seeing the body of your little
padawan,or seeing it and not being able to do anything to it?"
Rey leaned over so her nipples were hovering over his face, and he strained at
the bindings, trying to wrap them in his mouth. She kept them just out of
reach, though, and snickered, "Oh Ben, this is sofun - perhaps you should
misbehave more often."
He shook his head, "No, never again - I promise." 
Humming softly as she ran her hands through his hair, she contemplated those
words. She knew that her infatuation had always been more one-sided, but the
past few months it had - shifted. Despite his raging erection, his mind felt at
peace - almost loving - as she felt it brush against hers. Once more she kissed
him, softly, before lifting herself up and sliding down onto his cock.
The size of him was never something she would get used to, the pressure of his
cock pushed all the air out of her body, leaving her gasping. His hips pushed
into her as much as they could and instead of chastising him, Rey made a
contented sigh before bracing her hands on his shoulders. Her knees dug into
the mattress as she rode him, fast bucks of hips followed by a long and slow
undulation of her entire body. His toes curled when she did that. 
"Fuck Rey, ride my cock," he panted as he tried to push against her, his arms
straining against the rope. "I need you to take everything, little padawan,
ride me until your pussy clenches around me. It's all I'm good for, baby."
Rey breathed heavily at his words, rising so he could watch her entire body
jiggle with the effort, leaning back to place her hands on his thighs. She let
her hips do most of the work, circling them slowly as his cock swelled even
more as she clenched around him every now and then.
Her head fell back, breasts pushing towards the sky as she let him push into
her at a faster pace. "Ben, please - fuck me harder."
The ropes around his ankles ripped off the bed posts at the sound of her voice
heavy with pleasure, and his legs bent for more leverage before pushing his
dick into her faster, a rhythm that brought her body forward again, splayed out
across his chest. Her body bounced on it with each thrust, her limbs exhausted
by the strain.
"Touch yourself, like I taught you, circle your clit my little padawan. I want
your cunt clenching around my cock."
She obeyed immediately, all pretense of dominance over as she submitted to his
demand and pushed her fingers to her pussy, circling her clit before flicking
it to the same rhythm as his hips.
Rey felt the orgasm building, and sobbed out almost fearfully, "Oh Ben, please
tell me."
"What do you need?"
"Tell me you're mine." He groaned at the desperation in her voice and the ropes
holding his wrists broke, to wrap around her body as it quivered.
"I'm yours, Rey. I'll never give you cause to doubt it again. I'm yours,
forever."
The combination of his fervent words spoken into her sweaty hair, her fingers
around her clit, and his cock inside of her, made her body shudder and she
screamed at the force of the building orgasm. Where once his body had been
under her control, she was no longer under her own - he pumped his cock through
it slowly, the fluttering of her walls finally pushing him over the edge.
He groaned and held her hips down against his as his cum filled her body,
warmth seeping out of her lips, down to his legs and the bed. She pushed
against him, watching his face as she milked the last bit of cum out of his
cock.
"I can't believe you ever thought a lightsaber could replace this feeling," she
snickered and she moved her hips up, his softening dick sliding out of her.
With a glint in her eye she dragged her wet cunt up his chest, leaving a trail
of cum on it.
He licked his lips in anticipation and pulled her hips the rest of the way, his
tongue licking up the mixture of their arousal ardently. She found it hard to
remember a time when she felt awkward about this position, especially as his
tongue caressed the clit she had abused earlier in her orgasm efforts. Rey
listened to his contented sighs and mewlings as she opened the bond again,
gasping at the pleasure radiating from him - or her.
She hummed as he continued to clean her up, looking through the window of her
bunk, space flying by. "We have another week of travel, Ben, what else do you
want to do?"
Without any hesitation, he projected an image to her that surprised her, but
she grinned and pulled away to rest on his chest. Her lips pressed against his,
tasting their mixed arousal, she purred "I think that can be arranged."
 
Chapter End Notes
     Yes I finally wrote the next chapter, it was started over a year ago
     - writing's hard! Just a reminder for yall, this story is more of a
     PWP than anything - practicing my skills at writing smut, but I hope
     it's enjoyable outside of that. I'm a little rusty, but hopefully
     it's okay =)
     as always, thank you for reading! leave a comment if you desire, and
     find me on tumblr or twitter - http://reylosource.tumblr.com/ =)
***** hungry for love *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to
   get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just
                                    once."
                               ― Haruki Murakami
Rey walked down the ramp of their ship as if she hadn't just had Ben Solo's
cock deep inside of her as she attempted to land the ship in his lap. Her lips
twitched at the memory of him holding her still as they went through the
turbulence of entering the planet's atmosphere. The back of her neck still
stung from the way his teeth pierced it as she came.
But now they were back in the reality of their situation, meeting up with one
of Leia's contacts in Vakkar on their hyperspace route, and even here - parsecs
from Coruscant and the Jedi template, they couldn't be seen to be together. She
smiled back at Ben as he followed her, eyes flitting from point to point.
Always vigilant.
"You should go gather supplies as I meet with the contact," he said as his eyes
met hers. They were hard to read - or would have been, if she hadn't spent
years with him doing just that. He was unsure, this planet had a lot of
activity from travelers headed far away from Coruscant - and therefore,
Galactic Law. "I want to spend as little time here as possible."
Are you sure that's just because you don't like the planet?  She asked in her
mind, wondering when she got to be so flirtatious.
Rey noticed a slight blush reaching his cheeks even though his face was
impassive, he brought out the compass beacon that would take him to the contact
as a distraction.
She walked towards him, forcing his eyes down to meet hers, "I'll go get the
supplies and refuel, don't take too long. Remember I'm also getting you a
present…"
Ben gulped almost audibly as she lingered, too close to be platonic to any
onlookers, but didn't touch him. He asked her for this, but Rey could tell he
was clearly a bit unsure about it. It was a pleasant flip to the norm, as he's
been so confident and experienced compared to her. She shuddered as she
remembered where he got that experience from.
I'm yours, Rey.
His voice echoed in her head as she walked away, trying to reassure her again;
she knew that, realistically she did - he risked a lot for her. They both were,
for this - people don't do that unless they were sure.
Or stupid.
You are many things, but stupid isn't one of them - and I went to the best
schools in the galaxy you know.
She snorted as she worked her way through the crowded streets,  Yeah and all
that modesty got you so far. I know, Ben - it'll just take time, though.
Aren't you glad I convinced them to let me take you on this trip now?
Rey smiled at that, she was indeed - if she hadn't known any better, she would
have assumed it was her birthday even. Feeling him perk up at the idea, Rey
pushed back a little, asking him to let her focus on finding her way. Not all
of them had fancy beacons telling them where to go.
She found a supply shop fairly easily, ordering packs of rations and some fresh
food to be sent to the ship at priority, since similar to Ben she felt uneasy
being here. Although perhaps for different reasons. For the special item, she
had no idea where something like that could be found - and the idea of asking
around made her stomach churn. It was amazing how open she could be with Ben,
but as soon as she has to talk about it elsewhere her body starts to sweat.
So instead she wanders the streets, keeping an eye on the signs of each shop,
knowing it was frustratingly futile. She shook herself and moved to the side,
her back pressed against a storefront and away from the people. Closing her
eyes, she centered herself and focused on her need; the Force swelled around
her and the sounds of the world went away. When she opened her eyes, it was as
if a string tied her to the spot she needed.
After a few minutes, she entered a store with no sign and brightly colored
windows - it was quieter in here, with sumptuous furniture that made Rey feel a
bit out of place.
"Hello dear, may I help you?" An older woman asked her, coming out of one of
the doors as Rey walked in.
Rey's fingers laced together and she couldn't stop them from fidgeting, but the
woman smiled at her almost knowingly. She found her voice finally, "I'm looking
for something, for my-"
"Oh yes, I can see what you need, dear, follow me." Rey's brow scrunched up in
confusion, but followed the woman anyway; despite feeling wary of the planet,
she knew she could hold her own - and Ben was close behind if she needed
backup. "I'm Chessua, by the way. And I have a sense about these things, it's
helpful in my line of work. Oftentimes people are a bit nervous as you can
imagine."
Rey just nodded, she absolutely could understand - this was not her world, but
with Ben it still somehow felt right. She ached for him, even now.
Chessua brought out a box and handed it to Rey, "This is our most popular
design, it has straps so there's no slippage, and the size seems to work for
most humanoids - he is human, correct?"
Rey blushed a bright shade of red at the suggestion that Ben may have been non-
humanoid, but nodded, "Yes, uh - thank you, he is."
She gently took the top off the box and swallowed hard at the straps of fabric
and pieces of some plastic-like material. Her heartbeat accelerated as she
thought about trying to use this with Kylo, head spinning a little. The woman
was asking her something, but it was muted and she blushingly had to ask her to
repeat herself.
"Do you want me to show you how to put it on?" The words were kind, as if she
knew Rey may have been a bit overwhelmed, but the Jedi just shook her head.
"No thank you, this is great - I think I'd just like to pay for it. Is there
anything else I need?"
"Maybe not need, but would you like to look around? We have one of the finest
stores in this region and something might spark your interest?" Not really
waiting for an answer, the woman guided Rey around the store, showing her odds
and ends. It went on for over an hour before Rey finally ask to just get
checked out, her heart sputtering and her thighs sore just thinking about some
of these things.
You're so wet I can smell you from here, little padawan. What have you gotten
us?
At his voice, Rey's hands slammed down on to the table in surprise, making the
woman jump a little. She smiled an apology and transferred the credits before
thanking her profusely and dashing out of the shop. Looking over her shoulder
as if someone was chasing her for daring to buy things like this, Rey raced
back towards their ship.
Ben was there when she arrived, with more data disks and information and a
fully fueled ship.
"Supplies came while you were…out," he smirked and his eyes fell on the package
she was carrying. "Find everything you were looking for?"
Rey nodded nervously and tried to walk past him on the ramp without looking at
him, but he stopped her with a hand on her stomach. "Rey, are you okay with
this? You don't have to do anything to impress me. I already l-"
He shut his mouth quickly at that, and Rey frowned, wanting to ask him what he
was going to say, "No it's fine, just an odd experience - I want this Ben."
She stood on her tip toes and pressed a kiss to his lips, for once almost the
same height thanks to the ramp. Ben let a soft surprised sound out before
pulling her close against him, the box clattering to the ground. Rey tugged on
his lip until he opened his mouth for her, letting her explore, sucking her
breath from her body and leaving her gasping. Two solid hands went around her
waist and pulled her up with a grunt, legs circling around his body.
He pulled away briefly to look at her and the look in his eyes made her heart
stop and then start pounding even heard against her chest. So loud that she was
sure he could hear it.
"I missed you today," he said softly as they stood there.
Rey gave him a small smile, "I was only gone for a few hours, Ben."
"It felt like a lifetime. I don't know how I ever survived it on Coruscant," he
ducked his head into her neck and let out a shuddering breathless sigh. Rey
felt the mood turn from desperate to sweet and she pulled her hands from his
back to run through his hair, murmuring soft words of affection.
His head moved slightly up, lips brushing her neck in light kisses, slowly
moving across her chest to the other side, his hands pulling her even tighter.
Ben shuddered at some sheltered thought and raised his head to look at her.
They watched each other, moments of silence passing through them and their
bond, before he made a decision and began walking into the ship towards their
bed.
Their bed, Rey thought. Such a strange phrase, it was always his bed they were
in - at the temple, or the grass in the gardens - they had never had a place
their own. This ship was as good as any, though, and as he laid her onto the
bed she sighed contentedly; feeling at peace as she smiled at him.
He unbuckled her belt and slid it off, focused on the task at hand as Rey just
watched him, her chest rising and falling with anticipation. Ben knelt on the
bed with one leg as he pulled her boots off, slipping his fingers under her
pants and tugging them down slowly. Far too slowly, if she had any say - but
Rey didn't want to shatter the silence and so let him pull them off, baring her
lips to him.
A haggard breath escaped him, "Oh, sweetheart."
The softness in his voice made her legs go weak and as his warm fingers raised
her shirt up and over her head, she was grateful her body was already somewhere
solid - and that Ben didn't seem to need her to be any more active than she
already was.
Large hands roamed up her body, barely pausing as they ran over her breasts and
hardening nipples, until they framed her face and he made her look at him, "You
are beautiful."
The intensity of the moment made her want to shy away, but he mercifully let
her go as his mouth traveled between her breasts and down her stomach, leaving
light kisses until he reached her nether lips.  His hands pushed her thighs
apart even further, one moving to pull her open, letting him run a long lick
from her pussy directly to her clit, swirling it with the tip of his tongue.
"Oh stars," she huffed - Rey knew she should have expected it, but every time
it makes her body quiver with surprise. He grazed it up and down, so gently
that her mewls became groans as his hand squeezed her thigh. She desperately
wished for more, and her stomach muscles rippled as she pushed herself up
towards him, seeking the missing friction.
But Ben maintained focus only on her clit, circling the outside before running
the flat of his tongue against it; no teeth, no fingers - it was enough to make
Rey sob. Finally the hand that gripped her thigh moved up and inwards, leaving
her panting and begging for more, a string of  please please please  running
through her mind.
He just hummed in response until he dipped his tongue finally, blissfully, into
her pussy; he thrust it in as far as he could, fingertips pressing onto her
clit. Her hands went to his hair and pulled hard as she sat up slightly just to
watch him.
Pulling away slightly, Ben kissed her clit and moved to bite the skin of her
hips, distracting her from the way his fingers danced around her lower lips.
One finally slid inside, meeting no resistance, and her body fell back, "Thank
you," was all she could say.
He added another one as his pace kept increasing, long fingers twisting inside
of her, brushing against her inner walls. Ben latched on to her left breast at
the same time his thumb started flicking her clit. Teeth grazed her erect
nipples and her nails dug into his scalp, eliciting a hard moan from him.
"Let me make you feel good, please Rey, need to see you come for me," he
whispered against her chest as his fingers picked up the pace, begging her in a
string of near-unintelligible phrases that left Rey somehow even more
breathless, begging for air.
His hand was thrusting harder now and with less finesse, each one causing a
shudder as his thumb circled and pressed into her clit with just the right
amount of pleasure. Rey knew he must have been reading her through the bond, it
was the only way he could have known  just  what to do to make her scream.
Her body bowed upwards and her legs spread even wider as she felt her hips
start to shudder uncontrollably, nerves on a live wire from full body
attention.
"Come for me, my little Jedi, just for me," Ben whispered possessively, feeling
her orgasm build, and she pulled him up to kiss his lips that tasted of her. He
seemed surprised, but lavished her with a deep kiss until she crested and
wailed, eyes clenching shut as her hips thrust in time with his hand, riding
out the wave as her insides gripped his fingers, unwilling to let them go until
they had completed their job.
Ben watched her face the whole time, the myriad of expressions, with such
intensity that had she not been in the aftershocks of orgasm, she might have
been self-conscious. Instead, she smiled warmly at him, kissing the corners of
his lips, thanking him breathlessly.
Once her body let them go, he pulled his fingers out, glistening with her cum,
and licked them clean as she watched. Her fingers danced over his clothed chest
as he knelt there next to her; it occurred to her that this was something she
never thought in her wildest dreams she could have - someone who loved her,
worshipped her.
As that word ripped through her mind, she blushed with embarrassment, hoping he
 hadn't heard; even now, she felt it was foolish to expect him to love someone
like her - in their situation no less. But he was devoted to her, for now; and
Rey felt that was enough.
Ben gave no inclination that he was privy to her inner monologue, just dipped
back down to her pussy to lick her clean, the cum cooling and drying already.
When he was done, he stepped off the bed and kissed her cheek as he pulled the
blanket over her to keep her cool.
"I'll finish packing the ship, you rest until we can leave - alright?" Rey just
nodded, somehow not expecting him to take such good care of her, but twisting
to lay on her side as the blanket tucked around her. He smiled briefly and then
left.
===============================================================================
A few hours later, she was woken up by a hand brushing against her cheek, thumb
grazing across her cheekbones. She wasn't sure how long he had been doing it,
but Rey almost wished he would never stop.
"If you want to leave before sun down, it's time." His voice made it seem like
he'd be okay with staying the night, despite his earlier protests, but she
shook her head and sat up. Even she knew that they should get moving - their
schedule hadn't accounted for unexpected post-coital naps.
She looked at her clothes and groaned, deciding she didn't want to bother, and
instead covered herself in the blanket and moved to get up. But Ben noticed
what she was doing and rolled his eyes before picking her up in his arms and
walking out of the room.
"Mmm," she nuzzled into his chest, "I'm like a princess and you're my knight."
He laughed a little, and Rey felt that he had laughed a lot more with her the
past few days and decided she liked it, "Yes, a princess that could easily kill
anyone in her way including me."
"Even those kinds of princesses like to be carried by their knights," she said
lightly as he set her in the pilot's chair and looked at her indulgently. He
didn't respond, just sat next to her in the co-pilot's seat, readying the ship
to leave atmo.
She comm'd the docking station and got the green light, and lifted them into
the air smoothly, all while wrapped in a sheet, still wet from Ben's
ministrations earlier.
"Are you tired?" She asked him innocently, and he just stared out of the
viewport, refusing to meet her gaze as he simply replied with a no. Nodding to
herself, she smiled mischievously, knowing just how to repay him for his
thorough efforts earlier.
She entered in the next jump coordinates along with the thermal shields, and as
the ship pushed into hyperspace she stood up and offered her hand to Ben. He
looked nervous, but excited, and as he took her hand she pulled him towards
her.
"I can't  wait  to fuck you," she said low and fervently, watching his body
ripple with anticipation as the words hit him, before moving to follow her to
the bed she had just left.

Chapter End Notes
     Surprise! A nice little chapter for all you sweet reviewers and
     readers - thanks so much for being patient with me in my 15 month
     drought of this story. I hope you enjoyed this taste of sweetness. It
     was not how I intended for things to go this chapter, but when
     writers say the characters demand things - that's not just craziness
     talking. It's true. Ben and Rey needed this and so here it is.
     Hope you liked it, let me know in a comment and come say hi on tumblr
     or twitter http://reylosource.tumblr.com/ or @reylosource =)
     Happy new year xoxo
***** a heady feeling *****
Chapter Notes
     This goes straight into pegging, if that's not your thing skip to the
     bottom part =)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
             “There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”
                                   -Carl Jung
Ben walked behind Rey as she led him to their claimed bedroom on the ship, idly
wondering if anyone would question why the other had gone unused when they
returned to Coruscant. But that thought was pushed away as she walked into the
room ahead of him, letting her grip on the blanket that covered her go; he
watched as it fell to the ground leaving a trail of cloth as she emerged naked
once more, a goddess beckoning him to her.
She turned towards him as he stood behind her, hands tugging at the bottom of
his shirt, and leaned down to kiss her, feeling her nails drive into his
stomach at the contact. A rumble of pleasure came from his throat as her hands
moved up his back, his own in her hair as he kissed her, teeth pulling at her
lips until he reluctantly pulled away, allowing Rey to take his shirt off. He
watched her face as fingertips glided across his chest, circling his nipples,
making him pull in a shuddering breath.
Rey pulled down his pants and he stepped out of them silently, anticipation
building in his chest and her hands wrapped around his growing cock, giving it
a few pumps as they watched each other.
"Lay down," she said quietly, and the expectations Ben felt made his body jump
a little as he did what she asked.
"Do you have a present for me, sweetheart?" His firm voice belied the thrill of
leaning backwards onto the bed and watching her stand over him with desire; he
could smell her arousal - or maybe it was only that he saw it smeared between
her thighs and remembered earlier when his face had been buried between them.
He licked his lips at the memory as Rey knelt on the bed, hands running up his
legs.
"I do, are you excited?" She asked tentatively, and Ben could feel her
hesitation; he took her hand off his thigh and guided it to his cock, reddened
with desire.
"Rey, my little padawan, this is all for you. I spent years stroking my cock in
frustration at not being able to touch you, and now you're hovering above me
with your tits on display, ready to fulfill my every wish? I'm beyond excited."
Her pupils were blown wide as he squeezed the hand that was wrapped around his
dick, guiding it up and down slowly, watching as her breath came out in pants.
But it was  his  breath that caught in his throat as she finally leaned down,
wrapping her lips around the inflamed tip of his penis. It took everything he
had not to buck into her, instead he kept his hips down and watched as her
tongue traced the tip and then pushed her mouth on to it; her little hands
gripping the base of his cock, clenching it in rhythm with her mouth.
Her lips slid down the side of his dick, tongue running over the veins and
grooves before sucking it back into her mouth, taking in slightly more than she
had before.
"That's so good, baby - take all of my dick. I know you can do it," she hummed
in response and he saw her hips undulate, searching for something to soothe the
friction. But she didn't find it, didn't bother, just kept hollowing her cheeks
as she forced another inch down her throat. Rey opened her eyes finally, and he
cursed as she met his, "You're so good to me, Rey, sucking me off, relax your
throat some more - you can do it."
As he spoke, his hands brushed her head and ran his fingers through her hair,
gently guiding her movements, pushing her down a little bit more each time. He
felt the tip of his dick slide down her throat and groaned, but at the same
time one of her hands slid below and between his legs, brushing along the skin
that led to his ass.
Before he could react, she had pulled her mouth off of him to focus on his face
as she watched his head roll back at the pressure; his breathing intensified as
a finger slid down between his cheeks, circling his ass. Rey was satisfied by
what she saw and dipped back down to slide her mouth over his cock again, but
as she did it her finger slid inside of him.
He shouted, and the hands that had cooed and petted her now gripped the
bedsheets in reaction. Rey was surprised, and slowly began to piston her finger
to a steady rhythm, feeling how he gripped it and wondering if he would ever be
ready for her gift.
Ben seemed to hear her thoughts, "Oh fuck,  yes  I'll be ready, just don't
stop. Add another, Rey - please."
Rey dutifully added another, her mouth pulling off of him and sucking the
underside of his cock and teasing his balls with her tongue. As she push two
fingers in, his legs pulled up, giving her more access, his feet planted on the
bed; the tongue that laved at his tip faltered a little in surprise as he began
moving down on her fingers.
She had had no idea he was this greedy for it, and spread her fingers, twisting
them a little as she thrust into him - rewarded with another shout. After
another minute, she pulled off of him completely and leaned down, grabbing
something from the box he had brought in while she slept. A container of some
sort of liquid, the woman had said it was necessary since they didn’t produce
natural lubricant - at least not for this kind of thing.
Ben watched, enraptured and panting, as she squirted a little of the silky
liquid on her fingers, testing it as she twisted them around. He licked his
lips as her hand went to his ass again, but this time she pushed three fingers
inside and he made an inhuman noise.
Fingers sliding in, so tight she was glad she had listened to the woman, and
began sucking his cock again - hard. He lifted his hips and thrust into her,
hitting her throat and sliding down it a little more each time. On his way
down, her fingers thrusted back into his ass, chanting her name over and over.
Rey could feel his balls tightening and sucked hard, grazing the underside of
his cock with her teeth, with a loud cry he exploded in her mouth and she
sucked and milked it dry as Ben watched her throat muscles swallowing. His cum
dripped out the sides of her mouth there was so much, but she pulled off and
smiled at him hazily.
He groaned, "You look properly fucked." And Ben couldn't stand how she looked
at him, couldn't stand not touching her, and grabbed her, flipping her so she
was laying on the bed as he hovered over her. He dove on to her mouth, licking
the excess cum on her face before eagerly diving into a deep kiss.
His thigh went between her legs and he felt how aroused she was, "Did you like
that, sweetheart?"
"Yes," she panted as she slid against his thigh, grateful for the friction -
she needed to take the edge off a little. "Please Ben, let me fuck you."
His mouth ripped away from hers with a groan, his head resting on her neck as
he panted, feeling his dick hardening again somehow. "Yes, Rey. My everything-"
He rolled off of her to let her step off the bed, not finishing that
endearment; far too dangerous. He watched her open the box, and despite her
bold words she looked unsure and uncomfortable. Ben smiled and grabbed it
himself, gulping at the size of it.
"Is-is it okay?" Rey asked hesitantly. Ben knew, though, that her
breathlessness was from arousal and smiled.
He gripped the size of the fake cock, somehow still dwarfed in his large hands,
but it was long and of above average girth. Ben swallowed at the thought of her
pushing this into him, but nodded.
"It's perfect," he replied as he kissed her briefly. "You did well. Now let's
get this on you."
He motioned for her to step into a hole with each foot, as if putting on
underwear, kissing her thighs and dragging his tongue across her pussy for one
last taste before he pushed the cover over it, tightening the straps around her
hips and legs.
She watched all of this in silence, before he gripped the fake cock and pulled
on it a little and heard her gasp as it made contact with her clit and pussy.
"It needs to be tight, for the- the thrusting," Ben blushed a little, and Rey
felt a bit more at ease that he was slightly nervous as well. "Does it feel
secure?"
Rey gripped it and thrust a little in the air, watching his throat constrict in
a gulp, and then twirled and giggled, "I think it's okay, yes."
Ben nodded and leaned back on the bed, watching her with heavy eyes and spread
his legs a little, gripping his cock, "Then can you please fuck me in the ass,
sweetheart?"
She gave him a cute grin before she leaned over him, crawling on to the bed as
he shifted backwards in response. Grabbing the container of liquid, she
squirted some directly on to the dildo before rubbing it up and down with one
hand as she watched him, his stomach tightening, making his abs even more
defined.
He didn't even give her a chance to order him around, eagerly bending his legs
and spreading his thighs wide, letting her have full visibility and access. "So
eager," she murmured as she got into position.
Taking hold of the fake cock, she pressed against his ass and pushed in gently,
slowly. Even though she had prepared him with her fingers, the dildo was still
bigger and Rey wanted him to enjoy this as much as possible.
As she pressed another inch into him, he let out a loud curse and she ran her
hands over her chest to distract him, "Mmm Ben, I never in my wildest dreams
thought about you like this."
She pulled out what was inside of him and thrust it back in, going even deeper,
"I thought about you taking me, fucking me into the bed, fucking my ass, but
never  me doing it to you."
Rey raked her nails down his chest before gripping his thighs on either side of
her waist, pushing the rest of the cock into his ass. Ben mewled in between
heavy breaths and she looked at him in awe, forgetting to move as she watched
his face light up with the pleasure of it all.
When it seemed he had recovered from the initial seating, she pulled out
slowly, then pushed back in; his eyes rolled back into his head as she began a
slow rhythm.
"What would the council say, hmm? If they saw you like this, whining underneath
me as you take my cock," she huffed with the effort of her thrusts, gaining
confidence with each one as it became clear that he was enjoying it. "Think of
the  scandal."
"Fuck, Rey,  please -" was all he could say, which was just fine with Rey. She
wanted to watch and listen to him come undone. It was a heady experience,
listening to his mewls and watching his hips thrust up to meet hers almost
uncontrollably.
She straightened and placed her hands on his knees before fucking him with
short, quick thrusts, the harness rubbing against her clit, making her moan in
response. The change of pace made him stop moving his hips, just accepting her
cock. Rey made eye contact and cursed at his debauched state, his hair matted
against his forehead, pupils wide.
Pressing, his knees further apart, she slid every last inch of herself into
him, pulling a loud groan out of him before she leaned in, her small body
dwarfed by his chest as she pressed against him and began to suck on his
nipple. Rey was rewarded when his hands grabbed her ass, engulfing them in his
large hands as she thrust into him with long hard strokes. Teeth dragged
against his chest, before she latched on to his neck and sucked there in the
same rhythm as her fucking.
At this point, he took over - hips and body moving down onto her cock beneath
her, hands gripping her ass as he took his pleasure. Rey was just along for the
ride as she balanced her small body on top of his, the harness cutting in to
her thighs and rubbing her pussy, making her moan as he fucked himself against
her.
She could feel his frustration building, needing it deeper, and Rey pushed
against him and he let her go. "Turn around, on your knees, Ben."
He licked his lips at the reversal and did as he was told; she could feel him
take a shuddering breath as he pressed into the bed, his knees pressing in and
pulled in slightly towards his chest. He presented his ass to her greedily, and
Rey gulped at the ravaged, almost gaping hole.
Her hands spread his cheeks as she positioned herself to slide in, and as she
did so Ben shouted into the mattress his face was pressed against. Rey pushed
every last inch of herself inside, could feel the moment she touched something
deep because his body jolted.
She knew that was what he had been panting for, hoping for, and pulled out to
thrust into him even harder. "Is this what you wanted? Me, inside you, making
you squeal and moan for me?"
She watched his hands grip the bed sheets again, feeling deliriously high on
emotions; if this was what Ben felt like when she was coming undone underneath
him, no wonder he fucked her so much. Rey had never expected to have her
teacher, her Jedi Master, writhing beneath her, begging for her to fuck him.
The sounds of slick fucking and Ben's moans created a heady atmosphere, and she
moved one of her hands around his waist, gripping his rock-hard cock. He hissed
at the contact and she cooed in response, pressing her chest against his back
as she pressed into him over and over again.
"Come on, Ben, come for me." She begged, voice haggard as he writhed and mewled
against and into her. Her clit and pussy were throbbing, desperate to feel his
body constrict with orgasm. "Do it for your little padawan, I want to feel you
come around me Ben."
She thrust one last time, pressing him even deeper into the bed and he howled,
coming all over her hand and the bed, his ass and body tightening and shivering
with the pleasure. She murmured praise as she pulled away from him, sliding the
dildo slowly out of him, watching his hole contract and rubbing his cheeks in
thanks.
His whole body fell to the side, stomach covered in his cum, and she let him
catch his breath as she stood to strip out of the harness. Ben watched her
silently, intently as he rolled onto his back and saw the red indentations on
her thighs from the straps.
"You're too good for me, Rey," somehow all his reservations about their
relationship had come thundering back as he realized how deep they were in.
She frowned at his tone and straddled his chest; he licked his lips as he felt
her cum mix with his as she rubbed her pussy against his chest. They were both
exhausted, sticky, and the bed needed changing, but he pulled her in for a kiss
anyway.
"Thank you," he said fervently in between kisses. "I liked my present very
much."
"Mm," she ran her hands and tucked hair behind his ears, watching him. "You're
welcome, but maybe we should shower now?"
Ben reluctantly pushed her off of him and nodded, following her to the 'fresher
- Rey tried not to giggle at the funny way he walked, knowing that feeling all
too well.
"I always love it when you make me walk funny, for the record," she couldn't
stop herself from saying as they stepped into the stall and she turned around
as the water hit them.
He growled possessively and pulled her to him, "You fucked me so good,
sweetheart, but make no mistake - I'll  always  fuck you better."
Rey would never have argued that, purring as his hands foamed up her chest,
soaping her down; she was far more content in his arms than she had ever
dreamed.
===============================================================================
The next day, Ben conducted a short transmission session with Leia to inform
her of their progress - the meeting with her contact had went well, but they
were still reviewing the information. The likelihood of it being some sort of
military force was high, based on the reports of resources being drained on
planets on the outskirts.
Rey sat quietly, watching his interactions with his mother, wondering if he
would ever tell her about them. Probably not, especially given his
grandparents' history. Ben looked at her and she knew he had felt her thoughts,
and the look on his face didn't make her feel any better - didn't soothe her.
She broke off eye contact and went to check the pressure gauges in the cockpit;
Ben continued his conversation, but wrapped it up quickly. His boots appeared
in front of her and she refused to look up, lest he see the tears on her face.
"I don't have to see them, I feel them," he said quietly as he sat down across
from her. "I thought we were doing okay? That we were just going to enjoy this
time alone before-"
She sniffled and looked up at him, "I love you, Ben. I don't know how to go
back to Coruscant after this, after knowing what it's like to be with you every
day without hiding - without shame."
He sighed heavily at her confession, one that she had said before, but that he
tried not to think about. About how the weight of it - the realization that
they could never be - would press down on them the deeper they went.
"We've tried staying away - I told you, I don't know if I can do it," he spoke
quietly, ashamed of his inability to give her what she needed. "You know the
complications - you're a Jedi. What we're doing is wrong. I thought we had an
understanding."
A tear escaped one of her eyes and ran down her face, but she nodded. She had
known that, but hadn't cared - they hadn't cared.
"Maybe," he cleared his throat, steeling himself, "Maybe our mistake was
bringing emotion into it. You're still young, maybe it's just that we let our
hormones take over-"
"This is not just  biology , Ben," she was angry now, at his implication - she
knew  they were more than that. And so did he.
He hung his head, "I know, I feel it too Rey. I just don't know how to fix it.
You're not-"
Rey stood up, "You know, I'm a little tired of you telling me what I am and how
to feel. I can make my own decisions, Ben."
She spat his name at him and he felt his anger spike in return, "And again I'm
reminded of how young you are, we are all foolish when we're young - I should
have known better than to give in to my desires with you. That you would hold
on too tight and get clingy."
He felt the words hit her where he had intended, but the anguish inside of him
at having to do it overpowered him. "Is that what you call this? You're saying
that this is just one sided? That  I'm  the one that's too clingy?"
Ben refused to look at her as she stood above him, ashamed and wrong, but
unwilling to recant - this was for her own good. He knew it and she knew it,
even if she wouldn't admit it. Rey screamed in frustration, tears of anger
replacing those of heartache.
"Maybe you should start staying in the other room, I don't want you near me
right now and we have a long ways to go until we're back in Coruscant."
He should have expected those words, but they hit him as hard as it did for her
to say them. Ben looked up at her finally, at her confident gaze that hid the
heartbreak he knew was still there, and was struck by how deeply he loved her.
He would keep that to himself, of course, knowing she would never be happy
having to keep such a secret; she would find belonging with the Jedi, with her
friends that she always made so easily.
"Stop making decisions for me, Ben," she said quietly. He wasn't sure if she
had read his thoughts, or was saying it for good measure, but he looked at her
and nodded.
He stood up and painfully maneuvered himself so his body didn't touch hers as
he went to their room - hers, now - to gather his things. He heard her deep
breaths behind him as she struggled not to cry, with her need to be strong. Ben
knew she would cry while he slept, and his heart tugged at the realization he
wouldn't be allowed to hold her as she did.
Chapter End Notes
     W H E W, nothing like a little bit of angst and pegging, eh? =)
     This was the chapter I've wanted to write the whole time, so whew I'm
     glad it happened finally - you don't see 'soft' pegging very much,
     it's usually very femdom-y which is fine, but not quite what I like
     about pegging - though that has it's place ;D So hope it worked for
     yall!
     Let me know what you think about it and the ending - see yall soon I
     hope. Find me on tumblr or twitter - @reylosource.
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